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Relocation within state of Illinois

Started by mistoffolees, Dec 15, 2006, 09:25:10 PM

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This is a great site!  I'm so glad I found it.  I'm hoping someone can give me some good advice, or at least a general opinion on this one...

My divorce is not yet final.  I have been away from the marital home for almost 8 months and moved within 15 miles of the marital home.  I have no temporary visitation order.  It's been an uphill battle with my STBX to see our 2 children since I've left.  She's been trying to keep them from me as much as possible to build a case to make an out of state move.  We are in the Chicago area and she wants to move with the kids to her hometown of St Louis.  Since she knows it will be difficult to take them out of state, she has decided to move to a small town in Illinois only 12 miles from St Louis, but 270 miles away from our home.  This move can be done within the state of Illinois without a court order.  Of course, I'm against it and have tried to talk with her and have had 5 mediation sessions regarding it.  They have acheived nothing with the exception of deciding on joint custody with her as the primary caretaker.

She plans on moving this Sunday the 17th of December.  We were in court this past Tuesday for a hearing on visitation.  The judge told her there was no need in her moving just yet.  His words were, "I'm asking you to stay around until the first of the year."  Her attorney repeatedly said, "She's moving.  She's moving."  Judge got mad and told him to move and get out of his site.  

We are scheduled to return to court this Tuesday for another hearing so the judge can hear what we accomplished in mediation this week....which was nothing.  And the moving van is coming on Sunday to move her to her new home.  

Question 1:  How severely will the judge look upon her move after his request for her to stay in the area until things were cleared up with visitation?

Question 2:  Would this bolster my case to prove her move is a ruse to hinder my visitation.

Question 3:  What legal advice can you give me on fighting the move.

Thank you so much!



I can't give any legal advice, but I'm trying to put myself in the position of an attorney who would intentionally irritate a judge like that. He must have a pretty good reason for doing it NOW instead of waiting just a few weeks like the judge asked.

One thing you didn't mention which might enter into the legal matters is the age of the kids. If they're pre-school, the move will probably not be as disruptive on their lives as if they're in school and have friends in the area, etc. I'm sure your lawyer already has that information, but Soc might need it for a legal opinion.


I've been trying to figure out the same thing.  There is no reason for her to move right now.  I'm paying the mortgage and the daycare for the kids....even though she doesn't have a job the kids are still in daycare.  The only reason I can come up with for the attorneys behavior (as well as hers) is total arrogance.  

The kids are 2 and 3.  I know it won't be as disruptive socially for them because of their ages....but they sure love their dad and I sure love them too.  It will be completely disruptive as far as our relationship goes.  She's moving for a part time job making barely above minimum wage and has worked in the past as a golf pro with much success.  The job she is taking has nothing to do with golf but that business is owned by her family.

Her financial settlement is going to be a substantial amout in cash.  I'm curious if I can make the argument that she needs to put up a cash bond to insure the return of the kids for visitation since she obviously has no regard for the court's request...how will I know she will return them?

Thank you for your reply.  Please let me know if there is any other information I could add to help answer my questions.


>Question 1:  How severely will the judge look upon her move
>after his request for her to stay in the area until things
>were cleared up with visitation?

Why didn't your attorney ask the court to restrain the move? Something's really weird with your facts. The judge could have stopped the move, but instead he tells the mother to get out of his sight?

I'm having trouble accepting this as an objective recitation of facts. Judges don't do this. If they don't like what a person does, the judge stops the person from doing it.

>Question 2:  Would this bolster my case to prove her move is a
>ruse to hinder my visitation.

If you could prove it, yes. But, how, is the question?

>Question 3:  What legal advice can you give me on fighting the

Um. You're telling me that your hearing is two days after the mom's moved. Well, that's like asking me what to do about your ordering fish and getting chicken after you've already eaten the chicken.

You can't object to the move after the move if you had an opportunity to object to it before the move.

Like I said. Your facts are incomplete or I'm misunderstanding them, or you're misunderstanding what's going on so your report is inaccurate.

I can't give accurate advice unless I know what's actually taking place.


He told the ATTORNEY to get out of his sight after the attorney's belligerent outburst.  He told my STBX to stay put and not move until after the first of the year.  The judge then ordered us to more mediation sessions (he called a mediator from the bench).  We were to attend a minimum of two more sessions and report the results back to him this coming Tuesday.  She only wants to give me two weeks in the summer....that's it...of course I won't agree to that so mediation is a bust.

Before this hearing we had our third mediation where she first informed me she was moving immediately...we filed an emergency motion to stop the move and it was denied based on the fact that it is legal for her to move within the state of Illinois and our visitation hearing was already set for the next week, where all of this has taken place.

The judge plainly told her to stay here.  She's moving anyway.  Schedules are not yet in place and I believe she thinks as long as she's already gone I will have no case to keep my children here.


>The judge plainly told her to stay here.  She's moving anyway.
> Schedules are not yet in place and I believe she thinks as
>long as she's already gone I will have no case to keep my
>children here.

Well, if that's true, then maybe the judge is setting up the mother so if she defies the order he can use it as a rationale to give the father custody.

It would be highly unusual, but it's about the only thing I can come up with.


Soc..I posted msg #5 approx. 30-45 minutes ago. and now it has disappeared.  I thought the post was relevant and well within the guidelines.  Please accept my apology if not.  

Did I do something wrong ?


>Soc..I posted msg #5 approx. 30-45 minutes ago. and now it
>has disappeared.  I thought the post was relevant and well
>within the guidelines.  Please accept my apology if not.  
>Did I do something wrong ?

Section 11 prohibts any advice, legal or otherwise, without advance consent. Regardless, sometimes I will delete an otherwise relevant post if I think that the information conveyed will sufficiently confuse the issue and consequently the original poster.

Don't take it personally. Your post had good info, but I thought it would unnecessarily confuse the issue.


From what I'm reading it sounds like the problem is that you don't have a set visitation schedule in place, so she's not violating anything by moving the kids since she's not leaving the state.  The move, while not in your best interest, may be viewed as being in the best interest of the children.  She has no job now, and appears have stable employment where she's moving.  She will also be close to her family, and the children's extended family.  Objectively it's hard to see why that, in and of itself, would not be in the best interests of the children.  Remember, the court looks at what's in their, not your, best interest.

I'm sorry you're having these problems, but maybe it's not the end of the world.  Maybe you can agree to a more liberal visitation schedule, and get her to agree on splitting transportation costs, etc, since the move was voluntary on her part?  One thing is for sure, the judge will not be happy with the fact that she moved against his recommendation.  BTW - it seems that is what it was, a recommendation, not an order.  From what I understand, it's not an order unless it's in writing and signed by the judge.  

You're absolutely justified in not wanting to lose your kids.  No one wants them to move away, and it would be a terrible loss.  I'm sorry that you're going through this.  But, I think it helps to remind yourself regularly that this is about what's best for the kids.  It can be very hard to do when the divorce is so new, and there are lots of open wounds.  It's easy to get caught up into proving that you're right.  The court will see through that - so make sure to keep that in check when you go to mediation and to court.  It's not about who's right or who's wrong, it's not about you and your STBX, it's about the kids.

Good luck.


Thanks so much to everyone for the time and thought put into your posts.  I know the courts will look at the issues based on what's best for the children.  I also do.  I do want what's best for them as well as what's best for her.   I guess we both see things differently....obviously....or we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place.

Thanks again.  This is a great site.