health care professional

[mattie]

Hey Soc

I lIve in Nj -joint custody of 10 year old. It never ends with my ex-wife. afeter defending myself against unfounded child abuse charges and a slew of other falsehoods. I get a call from a "mental health expert" that she has taken my son to. The expert has asked will I sit with her and husband because of some concerns about my son(probably that I have supposedly done). I have no desire to sit across a desk from the 2 people who constantly seek to destroy my relstionshsip with my son. She will pretend to be doing what is best for our son and then go home and make derogatory phone calls to me. I've been dealing with her for 11 years now-nothing ever changes this is to get something to use as levergae against me at court because she knows I will be seeking custody because of her latest antics.I have told health care professional I will meet with him alone but would prefer not to meet with the 2 of them-unless court appointed

Question--Will it look bad if I refuse to go to this health care professional she has chosen and meet with her and her husband -can it be seen as being uncooperative and be used againsat me in court

She has been seeing this man for months now and has told her side of the story -I feel she has an unfair advantage

[socrateaser]

>Hey Soc
>
>I lIve in Nj -joint custody of 10 year old. It never ends with
>my ex-wife. afeter defending myself against unfounded child
>abuse charges and a slew of other falsehoods. I get a call
>from a "mental health expert" that she has taken my son to.
>The expert has asked will I sit with her and husband because
>of some concerns about my son(probably that I have supposedly
>done). I have no desire to sit across a desk from the 2 people
>who constantly seek to destroy my relstionshsip with my son.
>She will pretend to be doing what is best for our son and then
>go home and make derogatory phone calls to me. I've been
>dealing with her for 11 years now-nothing ever changes this is
>to get something to use as levergae against me at court
>because she knows I will be seeking custody because of her
>latest antics.I have told health care professional I will meet
>with him alone but would prefer not to meet with the 2 of
>them-unless court appointed
>
>Question--Will it look bad if I refuse to go to this health
>care professional she has chosen and meet with her and her
>husband -can it be seen as being uncooperative and be used
>againsat me in court

Your resistance to engage with a mental health person re your child's relationship with his/her parents' could be viewed as tending to show that you are not interested in the child's welfare.

I don't have nearly enough facts, i.e., what's the purpose of the meeting? It seems to me that unless there is some clear objective to be obtained via the meeting, that it will be mostly an opportunity to vent and not very productive. But, I don't really know, because I don't know what the purpose of the meeting is.

[mattie]

Soc

He told me the purpose was to see How we can make things easier for my son-"Whatever that means"--she's come to him with concerns and he woulld like to speak to all of us.

My son has recently started wetting the bed (which he has not done in about 5 years)-And I think he is suffering,he cries when he goes home and says his mom and stepdad fight constantly and sometimes mom gets physical with stepdad. I want to cut the middle man out and go directly though a court ordered health care professional

How can I do that?

[socrateaser]

>Soc
>
>He told me the purpose was to see How we can make things
>easier for my son-"Whatever that means"--she's come to him
>with concerns and he woulld like to speak to all of us.
>
>My son has recently started wetting the bed (which he has not
>done in about 5 years)-And I think he is suffering,he cries
>when he goes home and says his mom and stepdad fight
>constantly and sometimes mom gets physical with stepdad. I
>want to cut the middle man out and go directly though a court
>ordered health care professional
>
>How can I do that?

A court-ordered eval will not rid you of a middleman. It will increase that person's influence.

If you attend the meeting and keep the child's interests as your only concern, and you refuse to engage in any argument over the other parent's behavior as compares with your own, then you may get some value from the meeting.

The risk is that you will absolutely be waiving your rights to privacy and either party will be able to get any evidence discovered from the meeting against the other party.

The only way to prevent this would be to see the therapist separately from the other parent, and as a patient. That way your confidentiality privilege would be preserved. The therapist could use the info to try to help both you and the other parent deal with the child's issues, but could not reveal anything you said without your express consent.

That would get your input in, permit you to show that you were interested in helping, and still protect your rights.

If you want to have the court appoint another "uncontaminated" evaluator, then you can certainly ask the court, or you can try to get the other parent to agree to the appointment. I don't necessarily think that bedwetting, by itself, makes out a case for a custody change -- but, it may. The only way you'll find out is to file a motion.