Don't know what to do, if anything.

[Kitty C.]

You and your family are in my prayers!  It's obvious that Will's hurting VERY badly right now.  And he's being human.......taking it out on those closest to him.  I've done it to DH and he's done it to me as well.  But there are varying degrees of it and it's obvious that you and Will have more on your plate than most.  I hope and pray that he will at least listen to counseling and is willing to communicate in regards to all this.

And regardless, we are here for you too, kitten.  You know the old saying: you can't change anyone else, only yourself.  Tho that's hard to swallow when it gets down to the nitty-gritty, it's still a fact of life.  But we are here for you, too.  My friends here have kept me up thru some very rocky times this past year, including a brief separation between DH and myself.  They were here for me and I will be here for you.  I need to give back what was given to me, and you are the lucky recipient!  :-)

[kitten]

Thank you so much.  I am bawling my head off right now.  I think I've lost my best friend.

[joni]

He's preparing himself for the worse right now, the anticipation that his kids might be relocated.  You've probably heard that there's five stages of mourning:

Denial and Isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

I feel that you're taking on the blame here because of how your relationship started.  Certainly, his ex wife is trying to punish you too, she still blames you.

Regardless of the outcome, you two are going to have to rebuild your life.   If the kids move, you will have to work together to deal with this devastation.  

If the kids are allowed to stay here, your problems will not be solved.  Everything will not be magically happy again.  The kids will suffer being away from their mother, if their mother goes to Alaska.  There's going to be alot of damage control for the kids to adjust.

Counseling is a very real solution for both of these scenarios.  Give Will some time to adjust and prepare.  It may be something he'll have to do by himself.  Stop taking on the responsibility of him too.  Take this time to get yourself together so that you two can be a united front.

[kitten]

Good advice, I do need to get myself together.  I have a hard time not taking on his pain.  
He called and said he wants to talk tonight.  He is meeting w/his attorney tonight too.  

[StPaulieGirl]

Kitten, I am so sorry.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  If Will refuses to go to counseling, you should go anyway.  You are a good wife, mom and stepmom, and Will knows that.  Right now he's in too much pain and uncertainty.  Dec. 30th is a long way off.  

((hugs))

[kitten]

Last night we had a good talk.  He apologized for shutting me out and forgave me for taking off.  I guess we still got it!  He had a horiffic weekend with the kids, PBFH called Sat night and convinced 7 yr old he needed to come home sun night (the order says Mon morning) to the point where ss went into hysterics when Dad told him he would take him home Mon.  He ended up taking them home Sun night because mom had all three upset and it was miserable for everyone.  THEN, Sun night her husband called and left a bizarre threatening message on vm stating that he wants will to treat his wife with more respect.  

The trial is tomorrow, 6 hours of court.  My ex wrote and signed a wonderful letter in support of Will and that he feels he has been a good influence on our children.  (he has his moments).  ;)

No matter the outcome, tomorrow will be the single most emotionally exhausting experience Will has ever known.  Thank you all for your help and support, I will write an update in a couple of days.

[kitten]

Good advice, I do need to get myself together.  I have a hard time not taking on his pain.  
He called and said he wants to talk tonight.  He is meeting w/his attorney tonight too.  

[StPaulieGirl]

Kitten, I am so sorry.  I'll keep you in my prayers.  If Will refuses to go to counseling, you should go anyway.  You are a good wife, mom and stepmom, and Will knows that.  Right now he's in too much pain and uncertainty.  Dec. 30th is a long way off.  

((hugs))

[kitten]

Last night we had a good talk.  He apologized for shutting me out and forgave me for taking off.  I guess we still got it!  He had a horiffic weekend with the kids, PBFH called Sat night and convinced 7 yr old he needed to come home sun night (the order says Mon morning) to the point where ss went into hysterics when Dad told him he would take him home Mon.  He ended up taking them home Sun night because mom had all three upset and it was miserable for everyone.  THEN, Sun night her husband called and left a bizarre threatening message on vm stating that he wants will to treat his wife with more respect.  

The trial is tomorrow, 6 hours of court.  My ex wrote and signed a wonderful letter in support of Will and that he feels he has been a good influence on our children.  (he has his moments).  ;)

No matter the outcome, tomorrow will be the single most emotionally exhausting experience Will has ever known.  Thank you all for your help and support, I will write an update in a couple of days.

[MYSONSDAD]

I hope you taped that message!

"Children learn what they live"