settlement conference CA

[mishelle2]

OK ALL I KNOW IM SHOUTING.. CAUSE I NEED EVERYONES HELP, TOMORROW MY SS GETS INTERVIEWED BY THE JUDGE AND WE HAVENT SEEN HIM IN  AWEEK.. WE ALL READY KNOW THAT HIS MOM IS VERY GOOD AT COACHING HIM SHES DONE IT BEFORE JUDGE DIDNT SEE THROUGH IT LAST TIME..

SO EVERYONE PLEASE STOP TOMORROW MORNIN AROUND 11 AM PACIFIC TIME AND SAY A PRAYER FOR THE GUY IN CA THAT JUST WANTS TO SEE HIS SON MORE


THANKS

[mishelle2]

ok all... the judge interviewed him today, we didnt see him at all before he went into chambers... he was in there 7 minutes.. yes 7... then court sec. said that she would put ruling in letter and send it to each atty. because bm's atty wasnt present (he was in another court room in chambers..)
When we seen ss downstairs with his grandpa..(who hates us) he wouldnt even say hi to his dad, dad said.. hey .. your allowed to talk to me.. then he said I love you and his son just looked down.. he looked very upset.. I think he was extremely coached but we'll see if the judge seen.. she didnt see last time.. I just dont know how she can decide the outcome of our entire lives in a 7 minute interview...Ill keep praying.. but I think our hearts are going to end up broken.......again............

at what point do you say your done.. that when ss decides that  having a father is important to him that we'll make an effort..................................................................

[notnew]

You'll know when you are ready to be done.

We did EOW and EOH for 6 years. The alienation sometimes got intense and sometimes backed off, but it was always there.

Last go around in court, there were so many lies told by my ex and my child that I've given up.

My child is 13. I have talked to my child about 5 times since last August and seen her 1X.

I hope things went better, but it sounds like it was the same judge. 7 minutes is not long enough. And from the actions of the child in the court with BM's family, I think you may be right about being disappointed in the outcome.

Sad situation and I wish I had a better answer.

[HelpingHands]

you have a sad little boy who is probably ashamed of himself that he lied to the judge and then couldn't look dad in the face. he sounds like he's definately been coached- and - he probably knows the evilness from the BMs side that he rather not piss them off and went along with everything they told him to say. Kids are impressionable and unfortunately, parents are sick sometimes.

Hopefully, your ss acted as down and depressed in front of the judge as he did in the courthouse and the judge was able to see right through the coaching.

My daughter had behaved the same way every court visit(she wasn't supposed to be there to begin with) when with her bm's evil side standing over her, she wouldn't look over(if she did- they'd get in her way, physically grab her face and bear hug, act as they were hugging her- to distract her), she was told to stay away from us and was not ALLOWED to give us hugs, etc. Eventually, it all came out. Not only did she have her like this at home, she also did it in the courtroom/courthouse- judge was told exactly what was going on- and when judge asked why- bm's reply?- "cus it's not his court ordered visitation time" Judge blew a gasket, told her she is his daughter ALL the time, and ordered that a visitation occur after court and for a few days following, while I was in town for a visitation!!!

If the same issues continue to rise, and you are repeatedly back in front of the judge, they will get tired of seeing you in there. If she's in the wrong all the time- with your proof, the judge will finally get enough and do something.  At least we can all hope!

[mishelle2]

if that were only true, this has been going on for 7 years.. in and out of court year after year.. we offer major "proof" (LCSW wrote letter)yet for some reason this judge just doesnt like us.. shes insinutated that dad just wants c/s lowered even though weve NEVER filed for a modification EVER.. and we buy all ss clothes, athletic supplies.. school supplies etc.. and mom doesnt work.. ..shes only worked 1 year in his entire life!!
judge also implied we keep draggin mom to court.. we were there this time on mothers motion.. she wanted dh to have less time!!!

 ss is 13 his eyes were puffy and blood shot.. right now we have him eow, tuesday for a few hours  and 1/2 summer and holidays.. which all in all isnt bad..  

the one good thing about this is... our atty is the best in town and he was sooo tired of the alienation.. he didnt charge us a dime.. not a dime... she had to pay her atty 300 an hour 2500 minimum.. and she couldnt ask for atty fees cause she didnt ask for it in her moving  papers!!! so..  shes not walking away with a win either.. our atty said we wont get less time.. we may not get more.. but we wont get less......Thank god for that I guess...

so.... I guess I should look at my glass as  half full ..  well see what judges ruling says hopefully by Fri.. I ll let you all know....

[mishelle2]

well you will never believe this.. the judge took time away from dad.. the judge is supporting the mothers alienation of my dh.. can you friggin believe it..

[jilly]

Unfortunately I do believe it.  Your attorney never should have said that the judge wouldn't give the Dad less time because this judge obviously has a problem with your DH.

I'm sorry that your family is having to go through this.

[mishelle2]

ok, so my dh attorney went in front of judge yesterday for clarification on her ruling and then she said that it was her intention to limit dads time with child after her 7 minute interview with him, and that she thought the only problem in childs life was his father. Our atty told her taht that was extremely prejudicial and bias for the mother and that we werent even given an opportunity to respond to mothers allegations due to when she filed her paperwork (day before court), therefore she is making a one sided determination. The judge said well if your client wants to be heard he can come next week and he and I will have a chat in chambers. Our atty has been practicing family law for 30 years.. he has never had this done with a client, but he said, what the judge is counting on is this big ol black  guy (hes got 20 inch arms  on him) to come in there and act uneducated and ignorant, and intimidating.. but what she doesnt realize is as soon as he opens his mouth she will see he is the nicest guy she will meet.. soooo were hoping its a good thing

Have any of you ever heard  of judge talking personally in chambers with only one party present???

[notnew]

No. This seems highly unusual.

I think something is wrong and you have a basis for a complaint against the judge. What does your attorney think?

[mishelle2]

My attorney thinks that he can get a sex offender straight outta prison more time than he can get my dh.. we have asked him how can we get her off this case, he said its virtually impossible as she is the one who reviews and approves  the requests for dismissal. We will have to see what happens next week, we will take it to the top if we have to..  the problem is that in this town the attorneys dont want to piss her off.. cause if you do.. shell screw you on every case in front of her for a month!!

I need to do some research.. but Im not really sure where to start..