Harassment From Ex and his GF

[rbvgliep]

I need direction here for my problem. I received 27 different emails over the course of two days from my Ex Husband and his live in GF.  I am the non custodial parent and periodically get a crazy email demanding money beyond what is court ordered. These demands always come with no proof or receipts and quickly vanish.  But yesterday they crossed over a new line. They sent a total of 27 messages to me ranging from "Pay Up" which the amounts range from $300 to $8000 in past demands. To "You're a pig whore" to "Change your last name and you don't have to pay anymore support ever"

Obviously taking the higher road is to ignore such insults. The money that is being requested is always fabricated in hopes that I just might pay them. I have informed them in the past that any requests for additional money needs to follow the order of the court which means a paid receipt and it must be a need that was approved by the court set in our case.  

The response I get is... "You don't need to know what it's for. It's for your child so PAY UP" Obviously I ignore these emails and since nothing gets brought up in a legal manner I disregard.

But now it has escalated to very juvenile and nasty  emails from two different email address (One his and One hers). I feel that I need to respond and ask them to cease and desist such abusive emails, but I don't want to get caught up in emails going back and forth like children.

Please help me to compose a response and also we live in two different states. I am in NV and they are in CA currently.

1) Which state law has jurisdiction over the harassment?

2) Do I make a formal complaint to local police?

3) Are there Anti-Harassment laws to protect me from this form of abuse?

I do not have the funds available to get a lawyer involved over every petty incident. So I am looking for ways I can handle this on my own.

Thanks

[Kitty C.]

Soc doesn't oversee this board anymore, and we're not attys., but hopefully we can give you some direction.

Harrassment laws vary from state to state.  But since this is crossing state lines, it is 'possible' that this might be in the federal realm.  You need to contact your local law enforcement agency and tell them what you've stated here.  I hope you've printed off every single e-mail and saved every one of them on your computer.  You will need that in order for them to investigate.

Good luck and let us know how it turns out.  It might be a great learning tool for others who frequent this site.  Sometimes we think we've heard it all, then someone comes along with a situation that throws the curve!  Knowing how to handle it quickly and decisively can be key to a case and cause less stress for the children involved.

[rbvgliep]

Just got back from the police station where I made a report. The next step is waiting on the detective who will be investigating. The clerk did give me information to go to the domestic violence center and file a temporary harassment order.

[MixedBag]

you know...

I would change my e-mail address to a new one.

I would leave that old account open and print off every single thing they send.

I would not respond.

And I would sit on it all...

Even the phone stuff -- record it down to a recorder, and keep the tapes.

Use caller ID.

sooner or later they'll get the message.

IF they are out to harrass, they'll find untraceable ways.  Believe me, I know -- I could give you countless examples.

Stay on top of your credit report and make sure they are not creating bills in your name at various doctor's offices (happened to EX#3 by his EX).

You can't fix this -- nor can a court -- but you can manage it and learn to ignore it.

[Ref]

But some of that sounds like extortion.

From wikipedia

"Extortion, outwresting, or exaction is a criminal offense, which occurs, when a person unlawfully obtains either money, property or services from a person, entity, or institution, through coercion. Refraining from doing harm is sometimes euphemistically called protection. Extortion is commonly practiced by organized crime groups. The actual obtainment of money or property is not required to commit the offense. Making a threat of violence or a lawsuit which refers to a requirement of a payment of money or property to halt future violence or lawsuit is sufficient to commit the offense. Exaction refers not only to extortion or the unlawful demanding and obtaining of something through force,[1] additionally, exact in its formal definition means the infliction of something such as pain and suffering or to make somebody endure something unpleasant.[2]

In the United States, extortion may also be committed as a federal crime across a computer system, phone, by mail or in using any instrument of "interstate commerce". Extortion requires that the individual sent the message "willingly" and "knowingly" as elements of the crime. The message only has to be sent (but does not have to reach the intended recipient) to commit the crime of extortion."

If wiki is right and I am not totally losing my mind, the threats that he and his GF are making in order to make you pay could be a federal offense.

Ref

[rbvgliep]

Yes... I agree and it is to some degree extortion! This isn't the first time he has tried this approach of "I'll make you a deal"  What he is really trying to do is for me to say.... "Oh Okay" and then get hit with the legal recourse.  He is just a real piece of work and extortion is his middle name.

Tomorrow afternoon I am going down to the Domestic Violence center to petition for the Anti-Harassment order. It will be weeks before a detective follows up with me.  I've made the mistake of not filing reports in the past against him and then when we get in to court I get asked... "Well, are there any police reports?"  So this time I'm going by the book regardless if it will help or not.

You all probably have heard this joke... But the police officer told this to me today. Q) Do you know why divorces are so expensive????  A) Because they are WORTH IT!  :)  That made me laugh when I really needed it!

[Davy]

Can you please please post with more information.  Is the father upset because child support is in arreas ??  If support payments are not current has the court taken any action to bring payments current ??

It seems your most appropriate action would be to voice your concerns / complaints with the court that is most familiar with all the parties.

I've never been able to get any assistance from any of the domestic violence centers so you may find it to be a huge waste of time.  

[MixedBag]

yea, I once compared EX#3's EX and my EX#2 to terrorists....holding our children hostage until we did exactly what they wanted us to do.

Isn't that what terrorists do???

I still say learning to manage it and not letting it bother you is the best thing.

[rbvgliep]

No there is no arrears! They want me to change my name. We have been divorced for 11 years now so they are pathetic! But I did find out some new
news last night. Apparently in June of this year he was arrested for assault
with a deadly weapon towards is cohabitant (GF) and his arraignment is next
week. Yet... she still harasses me with him????  

As far as what I am doing now helping?? Probably not... but like I said earlier
I am going by the books this time and if and when I am asked about what I
did about the incident... I will have my proof that I did report to the police.
Besides the DA's office might find my incident interesting for his criminal case.

More to come!

[Davy]

PERHAPS the cohab is acting out of pure fear and if that is the case she will hopefully soon have an escape route.

How old is the child ?  Are you certain the child is safe ?

It seems the name change demand is so petty and not in any way worth the hassel !!!