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Dr, do you have any experience dealing with a true narcissist?

Started by catherine, Mar 22, 2004, 12:35:39 PM

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Reading these posts is somewhat comforting to know that they might "brun-out" or give up on us as a source.

For now, she is a constant thorn in our side, and constantly tormenting and alienating my SD from (mostly me) our entire family. Even the grandparents. Problem is she has her mother as an enabler. She supports her financially, pays her apartment, car, bills, and she lives in the nicest area. She has been a student for years with MBA, and 2 bachelor degrees, and no job for 3 years and counting.

Yet to the world, and court she is somehow able to portray herself as having it together, responsible,organized and intellegent, as she is well spoken (unless you listen real close it usually makes no sense) But her words are large and she speaks fast to throw you off. She writes the same way, very condescending...

However she has her mother get her daughter (my SD) ready for school in the mornings because she can't get out of bed herself. (Sleeps alot). She doesnt work, but is never home for her daughter. She dumps all the homework projects on us. My not tending to them on her time and when she is with us it is due to turn it, and we are stuck scrambling to help her get it done.

Then she has the nerve to publicly demean us in the schools, and report to people that our home is "sub-standard", and we have no structure, and we are irresponsible and loose things. Funny part about it is, the stuff she accuses us for is stuff she is 20 times worse at. We are always picking up the slack.

But if we confront her ablout anything it only intensifies teh situation, so we ignore everything and hope she gets no "fue0, of foodl" to feed her source.

She is able to manipulate any situation to suit her needs. Any.

I hope it does tire and wear soon. I keep hoping she will get pregnant by someone and go away.

But for now we can't distance, we have to deal with her, and we hope by ignoring we are doing the right thing.


I understand creating distance between you and the narcissist, but what if it's your own child?  My first thought was "...what am I doing that is teaching her this?" My wife doesn't believe it is by our example.  It feels, at times, as if it is too late but giving up is never an option, however ...I'm afraid to say that I'm at a loss....        Any ideas?