Is there any other Mom here that is not allowed contact with their

[Sherry1]

had nothing to do with the courts, it had to do with a severly pas'd child by his dad.  I did not see my son from the age of 14-17, three years.  He grew up and I wasn't allowed to even see him.  Going the court system wouldn't have helped.  My son was so pas'd by his dad that he told me if I ever did anything to hurt his dad or force him against his will, he would never talk to me again.  My son was moved as far away from me as he could be so that the possibility of contact was next to near impossible.  My son is now 22.  The damage from the PAS is permanent, but I do see my son now.  He lives about four hours from me.

[Sherry1]

your input would probably be better served on a board with which you have some experience.

Thanks!

[olanna]

and gr8twhatever is going on my ignore list. I need support and advice, not negative comments and insults.  

I am going to contact his school. Now I just learned when my ex was asked to be on the Dr. Phil show, that he said his little family was just fine and happy and he wasn't going to discuss having me, Mom, in *his* sons's life.  How's that for putting his son first! He even told the caseworker that he would discuss letting him come and visit with me when I paid him the $14K he spent on lawyers...and as a matter of fact, our son could come live with me as soon as I paid him lawyers fees!

He is a real piece of work, I tell ya...a real piece of work.

When you contacted the school, did you set up a time to have a parent teacher conference by phone?  I was thinking too that I could provide the teacher with a long distance card to phone me about D...what do you think?

[gr8Dad]

...I was not aware that one of the "dynamics" of mothers without custody was to insult and denigrate step parents.  Tell me, is this something that only MOMs without custody do?  Or are Dads without custody allowed to lump all steparents into one group and accuse them of not loving their step children?

[Sherry1]

THIS IS YOUR POST... You need help... You are angry that they won't let you see the child, because they are FOLLOWING the court order, and then vilify them FOR violating the court order by sending the child to you?? Sorry, but there HAS to be a way to be "right".

You say "is this something that MOMS without custody do lump all stepparents into one group and accuse them of not loving their step children?"  You are way to quick to judge.  Well, let's see.  I was a CP as well as an NCP.  My DH has had custody of his two boys, different times, for a total of 4 1/2 years.  That would make me, OH my god, let me think... A custodial step parent?  So, you would have a really hard time "categorizing me" into your post.  Do you think it is OKAY for a court order to state you couldn't see your child because you were behind on child support?  Wow, welcome to the 19th century for that comment.  I applaud you that you are such a great guy with custody and that you are marrying a wonderful gal with custody, you sound like man of the hour.  My ex took my son from me for 3 years, he did not have sole custody, I had joint custody.  My son was PAS'd to the point by my asshole of an ex, no court order on the planet would have changed my not having contact with him.  We all have "our stories", but I think you had better be a little more careful about judging moms without custody until you get the "whole story".  It is very difficult to walk in someone else's shoes until you have had to walk in their shoes"

[gr8Dad]

I was an abused child, a child of separartion, who never saw my father until he was on his deathbed, raised by a single Mom, a stepchild, with a step family that ignored my brother and I, an adult that went through divorce, a faithful man married to a tramp, a NCP father who's ex wouldn't let him see the kids, a father of abused kids (her), in a nasty custody battle, been through the CPS system, a custodial father, a step father, engaged to a woman who is a custodial mother of children that are abused, and are no longer permitted to see their father.  I am raising a child that is not biologically mine, and who doesn't know WHO her bioFather is, yet yearns to see him.  While every Saturday, I drop the children with the woman who beats them and continues to torture them emotionally.  Bring it on, I BEEN there.

You AGAIN twist my words.  The ORIGINAL poster insulted step parents in general.  I condemned her for it, and was told that I dod not UNDERSTAND the dynamics of NCP Moms.  Perhaps my comments were glib, or sarcastic, but I do not see pointing out how she insulted ALL step parents as wrong.  I did not SAY what you claimed I did, I asked, SARCASTICALLY, that since SHE said that this was the dynamics of NCP Moms, were NCP Dads allowed to do the same thing.  But, in TRUE fashion, you turned it around, and made it out to be NOTHING like what I said.  Try reading my posts.

[kitten]

So no Dr. Phil?

How did you originally lose custody if you don't mind me asking?  Just the short story if you can.

[olanna]

The producer is working on him now. I don't know yet.  I lost custody because I ran out of money to fight in court.  It's just that simple.

[kitten]

You are in CA?   What did your ex use to gain custody?  

[olanna]

I am in CA.  And yes, it really was that simple.  My lawyer demanded $10K more and I didn't have it...no representation in a SC is a sure fire way to lose in court.  My ex had representation and the judge awarded him custody.  What did he use to gain custody? Money....something I didn't have. I wasn't declared unfit and my ex wasn't declared to have anything more to offer in the line of parenting.  Judge decided that my ex was going to have custody, even though the GAL report suggested otherwise.

I can only attribute the custody award to giving it to the man that had a lawyer...which boils down to money.  What would you call it?