Reasonable Expectations

[olanna]

"You have issues and problems that I cannot BEGIN to address here"...

"Learn to stop judging people on who you THINK they are, and read what they write instead. You might be surprised and learn something."
 

[olanna]

in the condescending manner he chooses.  If he is here to offer support and wisdom, I'm not feeling it. And I get the feeling from the other women on this board, the feeling is unanimous.

[olanna]

that Dad could meet you half-way?  Could you afford to fly instead of drive once a month?  

What about you flying to her one weekend and her flying to you the next weekend?

I know it might seem crazy, but do you two have web cams so you can see each other and talk to each other?  It's kinda nice to see the kid..see their expressions...

Also...is there any way you could relocate to be closer?

I am sure you might have addressed some of these things already and I missed them. But I am trying to think of ways that it might make things a tad better.

I don't know of very many parents that spend 48 hours a month in a car to see their kids. It sounds draining.  Is there a chance you can work some other arrangement out with Dad?

[gr8Dad]

..."love bombed", this site is NOT the place to come.  I am not HERE to offer "support and wisdom".  Support is not my forte, and I ain't smart enough to impart wisdom.  I give advice, plain and simple.  I don't beat around the bush, I tell it like it is, damn the torpedos.  Don't like it?  Don't click on my posts, cause you know what is going to be there.

[Sherry1]

from me as he could, to Alaska.  I did whatever I could to maintain contact, i.e. phone calls, cards, etc.  But there comes a time when one just can't do it anymore.  I did not see my son for three years.  My ex is a very nasty man that brainwashed my son and took him away from me.  There wasn't a damn thing I could do to fix the situation.  My son worshipped the ground my ex walked on, and I had attempted to talk my ex into some sense and help me get my son for visits.  My son told me if I ever made his dad mad again he would never see me ever again.  I had to walk a fine line of keeping the channels open with my son and not tick him or my ex off.  

But you know what, these kids grow up and become adults (my son did), and after my son turned 18 and he moved one state away from me I was able to rebuild the relationship that my asshole of an ex took away from me.

You can only do what you can do physically, emotionally and mentally.  There are those on these boards that have not a clue what the dynamics can be and the emotional hardship we have to go through (men, women, CP's & NCP's).

[olanna]

and you don't get to decide what any of us can expect from this site.

Dr. Jen speaks constantly about us supporting each other and loving each other. Her signature here is "living and loving" and her approach has never included insults to any of us or torpedos, if you will.

I have found so much loving support on these boards, I just hate to see people come here and insult others for the way they are feeling.  I hope you either adopt a more considerate attitude or you find another group to insult that will enjoy your tactics and your condescending attitude. Since this is a public message board, we will have to put up with you, just as you do with us.

cheers,

Olanna

[Gecko]

[em][font color=green]I give advice, plain and simple.[/em][/font]

Really?!?  I didn't see you dispensing any "advise", all I read was condemnation.

[gr8Dad]

But if that advice is not prefaced with, "Well, GOOD Mommy, you are doing SUCH a good job..." it is labeled as an attack, or an insult.  I have NEVER began by insulting.  I have given advice, and I have "answered" accusations of attacks.  If you cannot take advice from someone that does not stroke you on a MESSAGE board, you will get CHEWED up in court.

[olanna]

and it's all too obvious. No one is asking you to stroke them. It would be nice if you could respect the person as a person when you address them, but hey, can't help you never learned tact.

You think only those with tender hearts get chewed up in court?? You should consider a career in comedy, as that was pretty funny.  I've seen much less mannered and tactful than you get eaten alive in court.  But you brought up court...I was talking about respecting each other here on a *support* board.

[olanna]

or "you need help" is insulting and condescending.  He isn't trying to help anyone...and honestly, I haven't figured out just what he *is* trying to do here.