Custody Evaluator

[Troubledmom]

It appears that a custody evaluator will be assigned later this month. I was requested to provide a list of what lead to the custosy dispute, why I think my custody proposal is in the best interest of the children, and other "issues" that have not been addressed that I feel should be.

I have the reason for my proposal being in the best interest of the children:

The parents have been parenting seperatly for 9 years. During that 9 years there have been 5 seperate parenting plans. Historically the parenting plans that provided the most amount of stability to the children, as shown in their (1) academic acheivements, (2) extracarricular activity involvement, (3) lack of behavioral issues has been the 3 parenting plans that provide equal or close to equal parenting time for both parents. Despite the failings of each parent in areas of parenting those appear counter balanced by the strengths of the other parent, providing the children with a well rounded experience.

The issues that lead to the dispute are easy. The only thing left is providing "other issues".

Does anyone have any ideas what they are looking for?

TM

[CustodyIQ]

I think you've got an awesome approach, if you can match up those three areas with the 3 plans that were close to 50/50.

In terms of "other issues," it may be that you don't have any.  It could include concerns about drug use, special needs, bad people in other home hanging around children, etc.

I'd be curious to hear what you outlined for the reasons that led to the custody dispute, because you're doing a fantastic job on the second request made.

[Troubledmom]

What has lead to the custody dispute:

The father has willfully and without just cause interfered with the parenting time alloted the mother. This has included but not been limited to: (1) scheduling medical appointments that occur out of town for the parties minor child and failing to notify mother until the evening prior to the scheduled appointment (evidence provided) (2) Planning vacations during mother's parenting time, when mother objects, father tells the children that mother just doesn't want them to have fun.(evidence of the vacations scheduled ~ hearsay on what he tells the children) (3) Telling the children that visitation with the mother will not occur if they fail do activities he demands. (evidence attached that he intends to deny visit because child failed to comply with his demands)

The father has willfully and with intent to prevent active involvement with Joint Legal making decisions failed to provide the mother with names of medical care providers, mental health care providers, and educational processes. The father has refused to provide the information when directly requested by mother. (evidence attached)

[CustodyIQ]

Hi,

Wow, that looks very good too.  Nice, concise, and clear.  Pretty void of emotion (a good thing for such a document).

Let us know how it goes!

[littlebit]

>>The father has willfully and without just cause interfered with the parenting time alloted the mother.
>>The father has willfully and with intent to prevent active involvement with Joint Legal making decisions

These are a direct attack of the other parent and should be left out.  Only state specific facts about things that have happened.   Drawing conclusions and laying blame should be left to your attorney at trial.  DO NOT speak negatively about child's other parent when dealing with the evaluator.

>>1) scheduling medical appointments that occur out of town for the parties minor child and failing to notify mother until the evening prior to the scheduled appointment (evidence provided)

You have only pointed out how that situation affected YOU, not your child.  Always keep in mind what is the "best interest of the children", and put your information in that context. So, ask yourself, What part of this situation was NOT in child's best interest?  Answer: the child could have missed the appt....

1) Father neglected to make prior arrangements for child to get to his doctor appointment. (evidence provided)

...Just some thoughts...
LittleBit

[Troubledmom]

Although I understand what you are saying, there were only 3 questions in the initial questionnaire 1) What lead to the current custody dispute? 2) Why do you believe your custody proposal is in the best interest of the children? 3) Are there any other issues that have not been addressed that you believe need to be included?

The custody dispute was specifically because of visitation interference and impeding access to the childrens records. Had those two things not occured there would be no custody dispute.

Hopefully the evaluator reads the "evidence attached" because the evidence shows that dad never intended on mom taking the child to the appointments and scheduled them to prevent visitation.

EXAMPLE: email recieved at 10:36 pm:
Dear Mom,
        Child has an appointment in Town at 10:30 am. Since your visitation period does not begin until 2:00 pm, I will be taking Child to the appointment. If you are unable to meet us at the appointment Child will tell you what happened at the next visit.
Dad

This Town is almost a 4 hour drive away. There is another child involved who will get out of school at 2 and expects someone to be there. Oh and lets not forget current orders say the children are not to be used as messengers between the parents.

Oh well... maybe I did it wrong, won't be the first time and certainly won't be the last. But the fact still remains had he not interfered with visitation and had he not prevented access to the childrens records there would be no dispute.