From whjere I stand

[angelblue]

I had final custody of my two boys. Six years ago I sent them to live with their father and then girlfriend who later became his wife. I was tired of living on welfare and going no where. Dad would not pay a dime in support, there was no way out.
I was on my way to becoming a police officer when a rare eye condition crushed my dreams. I tried to get them back (there was a six month agreement written and filed with the courts) I still don't have them.
My children now nine and ten want to be with me. They have expressed this for the last three years. Their father and his wife are abusive. The only reasons they won't allow the children to come back is that 1. they don't want to lose the child support I pay every month. 2. They don't want to lose the child tax credit they get every month 3. He can't give her a child because he was fixed years before he met her.
She is in a world of her own and thinks my children are hers. They are forced to address me by my name when they speak of me in their fathers home.
The eldest is starting to steal and lie. School is now suffering and no one will listen to me. CAS is involved and they just like to call every now and again to check in. Everyone looks at me like I'm some wicked mom who threw her children away. It was only for a short time, I can't seem to get them back no matter what I tell the judge.
I know it's odd to see a mom without her children so I must have done something really bad to lose them!!! I never lost them. I needed to get on my feet and I have. I have a good paying full time job, a nice home and a loving and comitted boyfriend of four years. My lawyer wants a 5000.00 retainer, my kids, they just want to come home.
What am I going to do?

[olanna]

but we all know that it doesn't mean you were a bad mother.

I would suggest paying the lawyer the $5000 retainer and moving forward to obtain full custody, with the minimum being very liberal visitation throughout the year.

Document everything. Document the number of times you call, when you send things...Document how many times you get to talk to them vs. the number of times you call. Get in touch with their schools and at least meet their teachers over the phone. Call their doctors and find out all the information you can about their health, their shots, how often they have been sick..whatever. Try to spend as much time with them as you possibly can. Build a paper trail...that's where you start.

There is a tool called Optimal. It's great for tracking all this stuff and I don't think it is very expensive.

I wish you all the best in what you are doing.

[TGB]

See "Tips for Getting Started" at http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm .