Lost my job

[c_alexander]

I lost my job today because I wanted to spend my parenting time over the week of Christmas with my daughter. My daughter Jessie is flying in from Colorado to Indiana the weekend before Christmas and I had planned to spend the week with her. Although I started a new job just 3 weeks ago I had notified them of this time during my interview and let them know that I had to have this time in order to accept the position. They offered me the position and in the process "lost" all notes regarding this time off and it being a factor of my taking the job. All of my efforts to fix this situation including offering to work a small amount during that week and take my personal days for the rest were quickly snubbed out. It was today that I discovered the personal responsible for the decisions. A young out of college married woman without children (surprise!).  Buring a discussion with her on this matter I was told that "all of us want to spend the holidays with our family. My parents are in Arizona I would like to see them..." when I pointed out that she had never had to spend thousands of dollars to get a judge to grant you visitation with her parents, and that she had the pleasure of growing up in her parents home for 18 years of her life and that I did not have that luxury with my daughter, and when I pointed out that this was the first time I had been granted parenting time with my daughter in 6 months or that I had not had her for Christmas day in over 3 years. It is truly a very SAD thing to see a company that claims to be family oriented turn their backs on the struggling non custodial parents in their hire. I have no doubts that had I been a single mother there would be 5-6 organizatiosn taht would have sued this company on my behalf had they terminated me for the same reasons.  It is truly a SAD SAD thing

[ocean]

Do you know who you interviewed with? Maybe you can write a letter to a higher up explaining the circumstances and that you are more than willing to stay on with them in exchange for the time off? Sorry to hear that you have to deal with that....It will get better.....and you will see your daughter!

[c_alexander]

I went as high as I could in the company, however no one above this lady would deal with the situation they all passed the buck. I am not so saddened about loosing my job, but rather that there is still closed mindedness and ignorance in the world in regards to the struggles of us non custodial parents. I was told in the end that I was not allowed to use my "no fault" points to call in and spend time with my daughter, however I know of several instances where mothers were allowed to take these days to take their children to the doctors, or if they did not have day care, etc. Thanks to Indiana being a no fault hiring state I can not press the issue because technically the company can terminate my employement at anytime for any reason they choose...so long as they claim it was not discrimination listed in the Equal Opportunity Laws. The real kicker is that I wasted a month at this company and am now even further behind in my quest to save enough cash to move to Colorado to be with my daughter. I would post the address to my website, but the administrator has asked for me not to post it here as it is a website that asks for donations, and I wish to respect that.

[backwardsbike]

I am sorry that you had to go through this and at the holidays too.  Especially after such a long time trying to grt the time with your daughter.

I am a NCP mom and nurse so I know about paying thousands of $$ to see your kids only to have your employer &*^% it up for you.  In health care no employer cares about your personal isues.  It always about the "numbers"...that is the right number of staff to patients.

For what it is worth I don't think you were in the right place to begin with employment-wise.  Enjoy the time with your child and know that when one door closes very often a window opens.  With a calm and open mind you will find that window.

Take care and enjoy the heck out of your visit.  It sure seems like you've earned it.

[MYSONSDAD]

You were looking for a job when you found that one. Might be something much better out there and you wouldn't have found it if that company did not let you go.

Move on, find that better place to be. If they did not let you go now, they would have found an excuse later. Enjoy your time with your daughter, it's Christmas! Many here won't have the opprotunity, count your blessings, one at a time.

Find employment later...time with your daughter is so much more important and remember, "what goes around, comes around" I hope that bitty gets a flat in a 40 below blizzard, with 60 mile an hour winds....

"Children learn what they live"

[joni]

I'm sorry to hear about this.  If the company is that insensitive about this, they can't be a great company to work for.

And for this young lady wanting to be with her parents, one day something will happen to her with regards to her own children and you betcha...she's going to have a flashback to you.  I'm glad you had the mindset to be able to very simply state what you had been going through.  She'll learn the hard way some day.

[c_alexander]

Yeah, I can only wonder what would have happened if I had asked for a raise..haha.

On a serious note I can not believe that a company which claims to be pro family and Christian to boot would fire a guy right before Christmas because he wanted to spend the week with his daughter whom he only gets to see 14% of the year.

Before I was escorted from the building like a common criminal I did manage to nab the e-mail address of the woman responsible for all of this mess. I am not telling anyone to e-mail here, but I will psot the address if anyone feels that they would want to... [email protected]

Anyway, I still plan to try to enjoy the holidays with my little one. Luckily all the Christmas presents are paid for and I have a little bit of a cushion until I can find a new job. Already have some leads, but might wait until after Christmas to pursue them...for obvious reasons..lol

If these kids only knew half of the stuff we have to go through to be a part of their lives...whew.

[bigsigh2004]

I don't feel that posting her e-mail address is very good form and will only solidify her reasoning in you being fired if anyone does e-mail her complaining on your behalf.

Quite honestly, you need to take some responsibility in this. It is not only the company's responsibility to note the time off you requested in your interview. If you did not get anything in writing mutally agreeing to this condition prior to starting, it never was a condition to employment that was binding.

There are people that work at that company with much more seniority who more than likely also, did not get all the time off they requested for the holidays due to workload. Just because of her parenting status you are taking this overly personally when in reality, her parenting status has nothing to do with the decision, but company policy does, and any person who has worked there longer, has "dibs" on time off before you would. It's called low man on the totem pole.

It sucks, but in this economy, there are more potential employees than there are jobs and you have to take the short end of the stick on occasion to keep yourself employed.

Good luck in the future in finding something, and take this as a lesson, if you are making any "conditions of employment" make sure they are IN WRITING and both you, and the company, have signed copies.

 

[c_alexander]

Depends on your point of view. My purpose in posting the e-mail address was not to be vindictive or hateful. More to the point I wanted this woman to fully understand the ramifications of her actions. Firing a non custodial father right before Christmas because he wanted to spend his court ordered visitation time with his child is more than just bad form..it is cruel, unjust and irresponsible. Any company that condones such actions needs to be informed that "we" the customers won't stand for it. ...much like Wal-mart and the T-shirts they were selling with the boy hate slogans on them.

As for getting everything in writing, I wonder what ever happened to the days when a mans word was his bond. "Getting it in writing" is only solidifying the belief that you can "trust no one", and I for one do not wish to live like that. Bottom line is that people in today's society must be held accountable for their actions...whether they are a corporation or a single individual. I did nothing wrong in my request for this time with my daughter. I was honest and forthright in noting this time during the interview and that it was a condition of me accepting the position. Throughout the entire ordeal I was honest and clearly stated my case. It had been pointed out to me that had I been dishonest and lied about the situation that I might very well still have my job. Now had I been dishonest then what kind of role model does that set for a child? Getting everything in writing and not living up to your word. Lying, cheating, stealing...it seems to be the only thing that this generation has learned thanks in no small party to reality TV shows....regardless. In the end what happened to me was wrong, sexist, and dishonest...and that is why I put the e-mail address up here. Not for revenge, but to let people like this know that their actions are not acceptable.

[bigsigh2004]

There are some things that I fully support, as a dad myself, when it comes to "injustice to fathers/men".

Fact of the matter is though, c alexander, is that they DIDN'T fire you because you were a "non custodial father who wanted to spend his court ordered visitation with his child".

They hired you due to your skillset. They fired you due to your inability to be there when they expected you to. It had nothing to do with the time of year or the fact you are an NCP father and she just decided to stick it to you as a CP mom. I'm sure if it were summer break, and not a holiday, and the same issue came up - the same thing would have happened to you. You need to take the personal affront out of it.

(quote)As for getting everything in writing, I wonder what ever happened to the days when a mans word was his bond. "Getting it in writing" is only solidifying the belief that you can "trust no one", and I for one do not wish to live like that(/quote)

Welcome to the 21st century and you better get used to it if you are going to be in corporate America. Do you not read the paper? Enron, Martha Stewart etc...trust in the business world? HA! Employment is a contract just as much as a contract on anything else.

If you wouldn't buy a house without making sure all your "i's" are dotted and "t's" are crossed, shouldn't you do the same about something equally important, your livelyhood?

Cover your a**, at all times. If you don't want to live that way, maybe you should find a way to be self employed - and you can use your word and a handshake on contracts.