Accounting for child support payments

[Emmy]

Hello,

I'm writing on behalf of my brother whose ex got primary custody of their two kids (8 & 11yrs) as of yesterday.  Apparently the divorce is not final until a few more things are ironed out by the lawyers, including child support.  My brother's ex has already taken out a bogus protect order against him (which was later revoked and literally called "bogus" by the judge).  She also falsely accused my brother of abuse during the trial - and that too was proved to be unfounded.  However, despite her outrageouse lies, she still got primary custody of the kids.  Now she wants to take him for as much money as possible in child support.  It isn't that he doesn't want to support his children, but he would like a more fair and balanced ruling than what he has experienced so far.

I'm wondering if he has a legal basis for requesting that his ex keep an account of exactly where the money is going to?

I'm also wondering if anyone has any words of wisdom - since all of this is new to me.

Thanks - Emmy

[Peanutsdad]

Nope.


Not only does the ex NOT have account for the child support,, she can spend it any way she wants to.

[Emmy]

That's what I was afraid of.  Thanks for your response, though.  Since child support has not be determined yet, is there anything he can do right now to improve the chances of a fair ruling?

[Peanutsdad]

           This will get you started.



Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


 

[Bolivar OH]

Your brother is now an instant visitor in his children's life.  And he gets to pay for the privilege.  He is,, well....... Up a creek without a Paddle.  He must fight for 50/50 legal and physical custody.  If he singed the papers for the custody issues the "fat lady is singing".  Its over.  And it will be an up hill battle to regain his position as a true father in his children's life.

If he has NOT singed the custody papers then there's hope.  Have written into the custody papers a parenting schedule which will allow your brother more time with his children each year.  Then say,, after 3 years he will be at 50/50 legal and physical custody.

[NeverGiveUp]

Since you are new to this then you can't know what your brother is facing, although if you've been reading posts then you may be getting the idea.  It's hard to believe until it's actually happening to you though.

I have to agree with a previous poster.  If your brother already agreed to giving up custody, he's already got his head in the meat grinder.  I'm not blaming him for giving in though, the court has this knack for twisting testicals . . .

Here's what he can do. Nothing.  Now he shows up in court with all of his financial records and a court orifice will run the calculations.  Then every so often his twisted empowered ex will drag him back to see if he's somehow managed to improve his meager standard of living, so she can put him pack in a hole.

So, write letters to EVERYONE or stick your head in the sand.

[Emmy]

Thanks for the advice.  My brother has not yet signed the custody papers.  As for writing into the papers a schedule that increases over time - how do you convince the court to accept this suggestion?  Is there a legal argument for it?  Is it based on the idea that as the children get older they won't be as dependent on their mom to be the "primary caregiver"?

[Emmy]

Thanks for the great website addresses.  I especially love the Optimal custody tracking service!

[Emmy]

One more thing...does his ex need to agree this idea of increasing his parenting time?

[Feelincrazy]

Emmy,

It is not her responsibility to keep track of whether it "goes to the kids".  Does she work?  Has she ever worked?  How about his job?  What state do you live in?  It DOES vary from state to state.

What does the custody and visitation agreement say now?  "Reasonable visitation" does NOT cut it.  He HAS to spell it out.  Trust me, she will stick to the letter of the law, and "reasonable" visitation gives her the right to tell him what SHE thinks is reasonable.

You said that he has NOT signed the custody papers yet.  Tell him NOT to and GET A LAWYER - or speak with Socrateaser on this site.

You need to go on the web and find the state rules on custody, visitation and child support and go over them WITH AFINE TOOTH COMB!

Don't give up!  A long time ago, I gave up my son without  a fight out of guilt.  BIG MISTAKE.  Things have worked out now, but for many years it is a nightmare.

He HAS to stay in control of everything he can.  He cannot control everything, but there are things he does not HAVE TO give over to her.

He HAS to stay strong for the children's sake.