Opinion - CS- Who should pay for what?

[MYSONSDAD]

How can a parent do this to a child they love?

Wish the courts would look more closely at the emotional abuse...

My PBFH will literally strip our son at the door if he is wearing anything I give him. Outside, regardless of the weather conditions or who is watching. It hurts me more then when she left and took him without my consent. Feeling his anquish and his embarassment...

"Children learn what they live"

[catherine]

Funny, as CP and NCP we had problems with clothes, big time!  The main problem being PB "stealing" the clothes.  Seems minor, but when you are CP and slowly all the clothes you have bought the kids end up with the NCP who only *wants* to see the kids 4 days a month - it gets frustrating.  When we were NCP we had clothes at our place, washed the clothes they came in and put them back in those clothes when they left.  Even this past weekend - PB put OSS in her raggy old clothes and "kept" the outfit he was wearing when he went there.

[cathy]

And I remember one weekend we were getting ready to take the girls back over to their mother's house.  The oldest went into panic mode, her mother had told her to bring back home a pair of panties she had left over here.

Well, we had just bought her a package of brand new panties and I told her to just grab a pair of those.  Oh nooooooo! It had to be THE panties that MOM bought.

Oh - and the socks.  One time we went bowling and didn't have socks with us.  I bought some - no biggie.  Kids wore some socks home, I didn't pay attention to which socks they wore - didn't care.  Eventually, the "original, purchased by mom" socks went thru the wash and I remember them when the girls were over - at least a month later.  I gave them to the girls and they said "Oh good. Mom was wondering what had happened to those socks!"

Huh?  Do you keep a running inventory of your kids' socks?!?!?!

I could go on all day - - - but sounds like you know exactly what the stories would be like.  I just don't understand how parents can do that to their kids.

[lucky]

Well, to be honest (and dh is NCP of yss) I DO check which socks yss wears here and then what he's wearing home.  You see, I don't even know if pbfh#2 BUYS socks for yss because everytime he comes here he has these filthy, holey socks on that stink to high heaven and would fit oss (who wears a size 11 in mens and yss wears around 4 in boys).  

I KNOW she gets cs plus she gets disability payments for ALL FOUR of her kids so you can't tell me that she can't afford to buy him socks.  But, ya know, she's never complained when yss DID wear the new stuff we bought home -- but we never SAW any of it again either -- socks, undies, pants, shirts OR shoes.  Sadly enough, we no longer allow anything to go back.

Now the other kids take their clothes back and forth -- but it didn't used to be that way because their mom (ex#1) used to keep all the good stuff too and send holey, too small/big stuff home on them.  DH was CP of all of them at that time.  Till they got old enough to like THEIR clothes and do NOT try to take a teen's or pre-teen's clothing away from them!!!!  You might lose a body part in the fight, lol!

[cathy]

Well, I can't say the clothes the kids came in were holey and stuff -  sometimes they were too big or stained.   But even when the kids were young and wanted to take their new outfit, we had no problem with that.  (We would also send the clothes they came in back).

Thing is that their mother wouldn't allow them to wear anything we bought them.  How warped is that??  

And really, I would have rather bought socks every weekend, have them wear them home, and know they had socks rather than know they were wearing old, dirty, holey socks.

[dad in az]

In our situation each parent has custody of one child. Why does BM feel like we have to pay for everything for OSD that lives with us and for YSD that lives with her??? She doesn't help or even ask if we need help with OSD but she sure as hell feels entitled to more than what she gets in CS??  That's very frustrating!!! DH pays $300 a month, 75% of everything and SD is coming down for Xmas and if she doesnt come with appropiate clothing for the weather then guess what?? We will have to go shopping b/c we cant let her freeze.

I guess BM can't afford to pay a medical premium of $15 a month, so she sends us a bill, she wants DH to pay HIS shatre $11.75.

[Wi-Mom]

I wonder what might have happened if at that point you'd sent the girls home with like.. 25 pairs of socks each.

[kitten]

Our BM gets over $1600.00/mo.  SO asked her to put 5 yr old in preschool so that he will be more prepared for what is expected of him when he starts K.   She said it was too expensive.  She would have to give up her $75/mo gym membership that she pays for with CS!  The CS is for things like PRESCHOOL, not water aerobics so she can have a tight a$$ for her new hubby!  

[cathy]

and sent them back.  I'm sure she wouldn't have let the kids wear them.

[cathy]

PBHF worked and her husband work.  On top of that, she got the $1390 tax-free child support.....but they had NOTHING to show for it.  They lost their house and were renting.  Didn't have fancy cars.  Didn't wear expensive clothes.  Didn't go out to eat or on vacations.

On one of the financial affidavits from 5-6 years ago, she listed $32,000 on charge cards!

No idea where all that money went....