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Sep 25, 2023, 02:49:57 AM

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Payment no longer through the court...

Started by Ref, Dec 14, 2004, 10:01:05 AM

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DH's Ex LOVES to argue about everything. This time it is CS, again. They settled out of court (like the judge wanted) on the amounts and such. She is now getting almost twice as much as before. It was agreed on that DH would pay the processing fees to go through the court. This information is in a letter signed by ex. No legal docs have been prepared yet.

BM stated that she would get the docs completed (through free councel due to her low income). Now she has the docs drafted and told DH that she put in the docs that the payments will be to her directly.

Ofourse DH would rather it go through the court, but is there anyway that he can cover his butt and send payment directly to her? He would like to avaoid conflict as much as possible because of BM's tendency to screw with SD's head when they disagree.



Just my thoughts here Hon but SCREW HER. Does your hubby need ANYMORE headaches? NO. Contact child support enforcement in your area. If there is a fee, I highly doubt it's anything much. You see, the Federal government doubles the amount to the states for every dollar they collect in support...and yes, that INCLUDES VOLUNTARY GARNISHMENT (or when ever it goes thru them).
There really isn't anyway to cover his butt unless he sends each payment to her by mail with at least delivery confirmation..even then she can say she didn't get it. Or have her sign a log that she got it. It will most likely be late, she just won't cash it, she'll say he only mailed her an empty envelope, it's not HER signature cause YOU (yeah, gotta get you there stepmom you evil woman) forged her signature...the list goes on. Trust me, I've thought of every single detail. When Mr. KAT went to court for support (when custody changed to his ex) he requested to be voluntarily garnished. The big fat ex thru a FIT. She turned red, got all huff & said "But I don't understand, why, how can he just do that without me saying it's okay"...the judge then got MAD at her. It was funny. Wish I had taped it. Just how STUPID did she think we were?
It would be enough of the games it was me....sorry, I know that's not what you wanted to hear.....just wouldn't want to have you back here in a few months sharing a story like many of us already have on this subject.


I'll send my ex support directly when pigs fly!  Trust us...you don't need the headaches.

 In my very convoluted and difficult case the one thing that I think the ex has been lest able to manipulate was cs and the CSE officer.  I'm actually thankful for my hearing officer.  He is usually decent with me.


DONT DO IT.............................



IT EXPLAINS IT ALL..................


Thank you SO MUCH for writing what your situation is right now. It's probably saved me a bundle of $$$ in the coming years.

In court my ex's atty insisted on garnishment instead of direct payment (BTW, I'm the one that pays support). I thought it was kind of stupid seeing as the total amount per year is only $2700. I work adjusted hours due to keeping more flexible, so even though I'm not the CP I can do the driving and be the one staying home with the kids if one of them are sick. State will only take out 40% of my pay, and with me already covering medical the amount taken out for support up to the 40% is a piddly amount. Thought ex was a dork for wanting to have to wait til tax time every year to get what will probably be the other half of that $2700.

Turns out he did me a huge favor! After reading this there's no way he can pull any of the stuff he has in times past, like saying I owed thousands in arrears (I had the receipts and this time I got lucky and he didn't get jack).

I've been paying by money order with a signed paper included. This has only been going on for a few months, but it makes me want that final order of deduction done TOMORROW.

Thank you for opening my eyes!



No way do you want that hassle.  

My husband used to direct deposit the child support to his ex.  She felt this was "controlling" and filed with the court to have payment made thru court.  Then she figured out that she didn't have the money in the bank on the 1st of the month anymore.  She had to  wait for the state to process OUR check, cut HER a check and mail it.  She was lucky if she had the check by the 2nd week of the month!

Soooo - she files to change it back.  My husband went to court and the judge was asking him if he wanted it changed back, and pretty much told him that he would be insane to agree to go back to paying directly.  That he would have to keep VERY careful records and would have no protection.

Anyway - I know in our state (NC), there is just a simple form you file for a $25 fee.  Unless it is contested, it automatically goes thru - -- - and you have to have a REALLLLY good reason for it NOT to go thru the courts.


keep a copy of the cashed check with her sign on the back (returned checks)


All I have to say is HELL NO. Contact the cs office with your new orders and request a case be opened and make the payments to them.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**


Herd from NM today on my hubby.  They want the back of the money orders that he claims to have!!!!Claims to have those go back to 1991 no one has those still they destroy money orders after 5 years.  Don't do it pay directly through child support.  The horrible thing is he has paymnets made to the Colorado enforcment office and they wont even except them.  This state sucks.....don't move here.


Go through the courts.  I know that in Texas the AG's office insist that any child support agreements made after 1996 (I think) go through there office.  Anyone who makes direct payments, even with proof, runs the risk of the AG's office considering it a gift to the CP, or you are left to the CP's mercy to agree that it was child support payments.

Eliminate the hassle of proving you made the payments later, and go through the state child support system.