Child support to the mother, who has more $$ than we do

[Army Wife]

My husband (J) is a cop and in the Army reserves. His ex-wife has a lot of money in the bank. She also lives with a man, so her household is a duel income. She has two kids (16, 14) from my husband, for which we pay child support. Every time J takes a tour, she takes us to court for more child support. The tour he is currently on is only 6 months long, yet she is now entitled to more than twice what we paid her previously. His children are considering private schools. Although we are proud, we cannot afford this on his cop's salary. His ex states we need to pay 1/2 and will fight us in court if necessary. I don't understand how she can get away with taking more money from us during these tours, and having us pay 1/2 of college, when her financial situation is so much better than ours. We have a child of our own, and I am concerned about her future. Isn't there a law that takes into account the mother's financial situation vs. the father's? He has another child to support, and has far less money than his ex does, yet every additional dime that comes in the door goes to her. Additionally, she refuses to take out life insurance on herself (which was court ordered), yet J has it with her as the beneficiary. She also refuses to pay for the kids' medical and dental insurance. That is all covered by us. Do we have any recourse here?

[Sherry1]

responsibility of the bioparents only.  Unless BM is a millionaire, the money in the bank also won't affect CS.  Is she working, does she have a job? The incomes of the bioparents is the bases for determining CS.  

Regarding Private School.  Unless their court order states that he is responsible for private school, then he is not nor will he be.  Let her take him to court, all she is doing is threatening.  The courts will enforce what the court order states.  If the court order states he is to pay half of private school, then he will.  If it doesn't address private school, then she cannot force him to pay, and 99.9% of the time, a judge will not force a bioparent to pay for something that is not in the court order.  If she wants them in private school, she will  have to pay the bill.

Regarding college.  It depends what state you are in.  Some states require a bioparent to continue paying child support through 22 if the child is enrolled in college.  Other states CS ends at 18 or graduation of high school.  You have to research the state the court order was established in.  If you are in a state where CS ends at 18, then you do not have to pay for college or continue CS.  Again, she is just threatening you.

What does the court order state as to whom is to carry medical insurance?  If the court order states your DH is to pay for this, then she is not responsible.  If the court order states that both of you are, or she is, then you could take her to court and file contempt charges.

It sounds like you really don't know what is in the court order, therefore, you need to locate the court order and read it, then research your state laws.

[Army Wife]

Sherry1, thanks for your response. I realize my income is not factored into the picture, and I am well aware of what is on the court order. Perhaps I didn't make my questions clear. BM has a couple hundred thousand in the bank and does make more money than BF. Based on your response, though, that probably does not matter to the courts. The state in question is IL. Yes, it is on the court order that BF is to pay for the medical insurance. So yes, it is therefore a necessity. I was just wondering if there was something our attorney is missing. It happens to be that BF has to pay for medical and dental, and BF has to pay additional CS when he's gone for an ARMY tour for just a few months (yet we have to fight to get it reduced when he comes back). BM was ordered to produce life insurance on herself years ago, yet hasn't, and has not been held responsbile for it by the judge. Is it our attorney being inept, or is this just the way it goes? Seems unfair, but if that is the system as it is, then at least I know a new attorney is not the answer.

[nala_mia8]

I think it's just one of those things that sucks. In TX, the NCP also pays for 100% of the monthly insurance premium. Not a big deal in our case, but one has to wonder why that monthly premium isn't split between the two parents.

As far as the life insurance goes, it's kinda hard to mix two issues together, but when she goes back for more CS, I would PRESS your attorney to consider counter-filing on her contempt of not getting the required life insurance. BTW, does the decree mention having to submit proof to each other of said policy every year? Dh's decree does and I suggest it for you since she's being so shady about the whole thing.

As far as CS modification goes, try to read up about what is required for a change in CS. In TX, you have to wait 3 years AND a difference of $100/month. OR there has to be a major change in circumstance for the CP. What does IL family law say?

When your BF comes back from duty, how quickly does CS get reduced and is it retroactive to the filing date?

If the ex is playing by the rules and will always be quick to ask for more money when your BF is on tour, then go ahead and always assume that a certain percentage of his pay will be for her.

[Stirling]

Given the unique nature of the temporary deployment I would try and negotiate an automatic reduction in CS once the deployment ends as part of the negotiations to increase CS.  That way you would avoid having to go back to court to have CS reduced.  

[CGS]

In one of our court hearings, my x reqested we each provide life insurance on ourselves payable to the other as well.  I already have policies on myself payable to family members who have agreed to spend the proceeds the way I have directed.

Instead of purchasing another policy, my attorney presented the court with a copy of my annual social security statement showing that should I die or become disabled my son would receive $889 per month in social security benefits until he reaches 18.  

This satisfied the judge that my son would be financially provided for if anything happened to me and let me off the hook for purchasing another policy.

Maybe you can request a ss statement for your finace and make a similar argument.  

[CGS]

In one of our court hearings, my x reqested we each provide life insurance on ourselves payable to the other as well.  I already have policies on myself payable to family members who have agreed to spend the proceeds the way I have directed.

Instead of purchasing another policy, my attorney presented the court with a copy of my annual social security statement showing that should I die or become disabled my son would receive $889 per month in social security benefits until he reaches 18.  

This satisfied the judge that my son would be financially provided for if anything happened to me and let me off the hook for purchasing another policy.

Maybe you can request a ss statement for your finace and make a similar argument.  

[mistoffolees]

The calculations are pretty straightforward. One thing you're missing is that it's NOT just the biological parent's income that matters. YOUR income counts, too (but not the ex-wife's boyfriend since they're not married). (I know - I was a stepparent for 14 years and supported both of my wife's daughters from a previous marriage).

Money in the bank isn't really much of an issue, either. What really counts in most cases is the annual income (unless she has millions in the bank). You COULD try to get the support lowered for the 6 months, but my guess is that the expense and hassle would exceed the benefit.