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Why looking to keep c/s low?

Started by timtow, Oct 15, 2006, 12:39:46 PM

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Well lets look at thinks from another perspective.  My DH paid child support, and still had his son 50% of the time.  Sometimes he made more than his ex, sometimes he made less.  But he always paid.  And not only did he pay the support, but he paid daycare expenses as well, even though those were calculated in the support he was already paying.  Why?  Because he felt it was the right thing to do.  At one point he was laid off and couldn't pay his bills, but he still paid her child support from his unemployment.  He also continued to pay the daycare bill.  When his income went down, he NEVER asked for a decrease.  However whenever his income went up she asked for an increase.
A couple years ago, DH and his ex made an agreement outside of court to officially split SS time 50/50 and for each party to take care of expenses when they had SS.  Part of the agreement was also for DH to carry health insurance.  Now even though we took care of ALL of SS needs when we had him, we also bought his shoes coats and many clothes to send over to BM's house so he wouldn't have to wear the worn out hand me downs she had for him.  (Apparently it was more important for her to look good than to make sure SS had clothes and shoes that fit and didn't have holes in them.)
Little did DH know, that the agreement didn't mean anything since it wasn't done through the courts.  Now BM is looking to have DH repay 2.5 years worth of CS.  Whats really sad, is we have SS most of the time now, because of the poor choices BM made.  (She gets him 1 month through the courts, but we allow her to see him every other weekend.)
The problem with the c/s system, is it assumes that NCP's don't want to do whats best for their kids.  My DH would go without, and I would go without at times to make sure cs was paid.  Now it looks like our whole family (DH, me, SS and our 2 sons) will go without to pay c/s to a woman who doesn't have a child to take care of.  Can you explain that one to me?

leon clugston

first thing one would have to ask,is how can a person be defined as a non-custodial parent when that person has said child for 50% of the time, it does not fall within the deffinition or meaning set forth by congress, or under the United States code. Alaska does the same BS, for which they are now being sued in the 9th circuit.If you ever have a chance to read the Cooperative agreements as mandated by congress under title IV-d of the Social Security Act you will find it has nothing to do with the child, nor did it ever, the system was set up to generate revenue for the state,(which is another reason why the Cooperative agreements were never made public, nor disclosed)
Even the U.S Supreme court has continiously held knowone has a absolute right to support, it is all administrative, and the courts are forbidden to review, unless the Secretary of Health and Social Services has stipulated otherwise.
Also under section 3.1 of the cooperative agreements(agreements with the courts of said state and the agency) the courts have to by contract rule in favor of the administartive agency in every case or be penalized for not meeting the stipulations set forth in said contract, its all revenue for the agencies, and nothing can or will be done untill people start reading and aking questions.


Before I even read the other responses, please allow me to answer with our reasons. Yes,I am the step-mother, but I treat my step-children with NOTHING but love, and give them everything they ever needed and more. HOWEVER, my husband has been trying to lower his child dupport for over a year, or maybe even two now. He has 4 children, and 2 are now grown. The 2 youngest receive $1200 a month, plus his ex gets $600 from his military retirement (almost half). It was ok in the beginning, after he retired from the military, he had a great paying job and could afford it. Although, the money is not and was not being used on the children. His ex has a job as well, and she has lowered her rent to $600 a month, and has no car payment. What she does have... is 13 credit cards like Ginny's and Newport News (women's clothing-not for the kids). Her MINIMUM monthly payments are over $600, that just her minimum, and just over her rent. The court does not care her spending habit, and since we pay for her rent, groceries, utilities, and then some.... she doesn't even bother to put her paycheck towards the credit cards principal. We have to still buy the children clothes since they aren't sent when we finally get visitation. Anyway, leading to my point... last year, my husband's job was downsized, and low and behold, we are still waiting to get into court for a child support reduction. It has been over a year now, and we are being charged for arrearages. She has gotten half of every check he has had since losing his job last year, which has actually totalled over $10000 in just child support, but that isn't $1200 a month. She claims that with her income $2190, and the $600 of retirement, she still needs the $1200 to make ends meet. My husband found a great new job, with an established company and great benefits, but it is alot less than he was making before. She is still fighting us in court for $1200, leaving us with just over $900, before any overtime. We wouldn't mind, if the money was being used for the children. We found out from the Escambia County courts, that the custodial parent does not have to show the support is being used for the children anymore, as long as they are being fed.

Anyway, I am sorry for lashing out at you, but it is a sensitive subject.
My husband gives EVERYTHING to his children, and you know, since we had to move out of town for employment... The children only call at Christmas or just before birthdays... Surprising? It's heartbreaking!


I agree, college can be handled other ways, and should not be put into child support monthly, unless they are close to that age. Do you know what my husband's ex would do with that nice little extra chunk of change... it sure wouldn't be there when the children were ready for college. There's also other options to help make it affordable. LIke you said, we live paycheck to paycheck also. My first two step-children went to college for free until they were 18 because they maintained high school grades well enough to attend college part time. That is alot of studying for them, but they wanted it, we didn't push it. Now, my oldest step son has already graduated with honors on his Bachelor's Degree (at 24 yrs old) and gone on to Seminary, with help from the family, but also his church, that he also works part time at. So, if we would have been giving his mother extra money for college, he still wouldn't have seen it! If you want to save for your children's college, why couldn't you put it in your savings account until it's necessary, and maybe even gain a little interest? Anyway, I guess it's just my opinion, but some people make it with less than $1000 child support each month. :)