Are we nuts to do this??

[williaer]

In 2004 my DH took BM to court for a CS modification. The judge ordered both parties to submit financial information- DH did- BM refused. The modification came through with a 50% reduction in the CS (BM voluntarily quit a $40,000 a year job)- and the judge ordered that my DH had the right to claim child as a tax deduction (as long as he was less than 30 days behind on CS.
In 2004 we were slightly more than 1 month behind on 12/31, so we didn't claim her. In 2005 we were only $200 behind and intended to claim her, however BM threw a fit and wouldn't cooperate with giving us the child's correct SSN. So my DH and I decided that we would agree to her claiming child, so long an she "signed off" on all of the CS arrears ( my DH was unemployed at the time and they had started to rack up again). She did so (after a couple of months, of course) and since then we have over paid the support by more than $400 and it has been a big mess.
Fast forward to yesterday. BM and DH had a meeting at child's school. Afterward BM starts begging DH to let her claim child as a deduction. He tells her she should have been claiming 1 or 0 all year (she says she will owe $1500 if she claims single)...she cries that she couldn't afford it, blah,blah,blah...anyway- he tells her that he will discuss it with me and get back to her.
Here's my dilema. He says that he will break a deal with her- so long as she agrees to not go for any more CS modifications- he will sign the form for her to claim the child on taxes. I know they can't really legally enter into that kind of agreement- but do you thinnk if we should even try? I don't mind her claiming child- we have two children at home and we get to claim OSD every other year- so it's not that bad......but are we being fools?
I know she doesn't have the money for an attorney and if she stays at her current job- she never will. The most she would ever have the potential of earning in her area is probably $12-13/hr and that doesn't go far toward getting an attorney.
My thought is- if we went to court today- she would get the right to claim the child back- so it is technically the right thing to do- plus- what can she say to us after we do her this kind of favor?
I told my DH to break the CS situation down to her like this...
We pay $300 a month now. If you claim her on taxes you will likely get about $2400 back- broken down that's $200 a month- so you are, in reality getting $500 a month in child support when we let you claim her. Does that sound like a reasonable argument? (She actually can be very reasonable when she wants to be).
Tell me if I'm nuts....

[ocean]

You are not nuts but this is not binding so be careful. Here we can get a notartized change and file it with CSE. See if you are allowed to do that. Also, if she went back to court today, she will not automatically get the tax deduction...you have it court ordered now.
You know BM best so if you think she will not screw you, then that is fine but she can go back at anytime and say she wants more money and it will be recalculated. If you are dealing with a good BM, I say that sounds very fair or you claim her and give her "Extra" money (and she can pay her tax bill).
Good luck!

[leon clugston]

you can broker deals with her, and make them binding, however if she applies for any state Aid, be prepared, it abrogates any deals you had, and could lead to a bigger mess, Retroactively, its forbidden by Federal law,(retroactive application) and suppopseed to be by state law, but the state's do it all the time, and unless you have access to lots of legal resources you might find youreself in a bigger mess that was ever accumalated. Secondly she doesn't need money for an attorney, if she goes to the state for assistance, they will represent her, this is where so many get hosed even in well intentioned cases.

[williaer]

She won't be getting any state assistance- she makes too much money for that. I told my husband we need to get it notarized- but he seems to think that really wouldn't make a difference.

In Ohio- once your child support case is adjudicated (like ours is)- you must go to court to have it modified. I know she doesn't have the money to hire an attorney- but I wonder if she couldn't just come to a place like this and figure out how to do it without one.

I don't know- if she opens that can of worms- I suppose we'll just be screwed....what's the right answer here, though?

[Ref]

I guess you have a better relationship with his ex then we have with DH's. She could so screw you, of she was  that type of person.

If you can't use the dependency as much as she can, I am assuming that she is better off financially. I am not sure why you are giving this person what equates to several hundreds of dollars for this.

The IRS has gotten very friendly with payment plans. If she needs to do a payment plan, she can go to

http://www.irs.gov/businesses/small/article/0,,id=108347,00.html?portlet=2

The link is also on the homepage of irs.gov.

If he wants to be a nice guy, I would tell her that it would really be hard on him to miss the deduction too, but she can set up a payment plan and he will pay an extra $100 a month to help her out. That way you are still getting the taxes, you are still paying the total CS amount and you are still giving her several hundred dollars.

She could never go back to court for contempt or back support. Ofcourse, I am thinking of the way DH's ex is, so I would be suspicious of all of this. If this BM is not as bad, then just get everythign in writing and as official as you can.

Ref

[leon]

there is no real right or true answer, besides she actualy doesn't even have to apply for assistance, out of spite she could just apply for enforcement, and the state would automaticly assist her, its under the same form though, which makes it even more enteresting.

[leon]

of course the other part to that is, the states without aythority have been abrogating hundreds of contracts of similarity like the one youre talking about, then forcing there own contracts upon the people, its ilegal as Hell, but they do it, some people have tried to appeal up to the fedral courts to get out of the arena of the Cooperative(court bound agreements) contracts, but then the states just use the defunct Roooker Feildman Doctrine against them, to keep the cases from getting reconized, it has become the system of Administrative Slavery Entrapment, and in many cases is not welcomed by either party
I always say if you dont have the resources(access to Federal cases, case law, United States Code, and the CFR's) be very carefull, it can create a long battle, always be wary of the Trogan horse.

[Jade]

>In 2004 my DH took BM to court for a CS modification. The
>judge ordered both parties to submit financial information- DH
>did- BM refused. The modification came through with a 50%
>reduction in the CS (BM voluntarily quit a $40,000 a year
>job)- and the judge ordered that my DH had the right to claim
>child as a tax deduction (as long as he was less than 30 days
>behind on CS.
>In 2004 we were slightly more than 1 month behind on 12/31, so
>we didn't claim her. In 2005 we were only $200 behind and
>intended to claim her, however BM threw a fit and wouldn't
>cooperate with giving us the child's correct SSN. So my DH and
>I decided that we would agree to her claiming child, so long
>an she "signed off" on all of the CS arrears ( my DH was
>unemployed at the time and they had started to rack up again).
>She did so (after a couple of months, of course) and since
>then we have over paid the support by more than $400 and it
>has been a big mess.
>Fast forward to yesterday. BM and DH had a meeting at child's
>school. Afterward BM starts begging DH to let her claim child
>as a deduction. He tells her she should have been claiming 1
>or 0 all year (she says she will owe $1500 if she claims
>single)...she cries that she couldn't afford it,
>blah,blah,blah...anyway- he tells her that he will discuss it
>with me and get back to her.
>Here's my dilema. He says that he will break a deal with her-
>so long as she agrees to not go for any more CS modifications-
>he will sign the form for her to claim the child on taxes. I
>know they can't really legally enter into that kind of
>agreement- but do you thinnk if we should even try? I don't
>mind her claiming child- we have two children at home and we
>get to claim OSD every other year- so it's not that
>bad......but are we being fools?
>I know she doesn't have the money for an attorney and if she
>stays at her current job- she never will. The most she would
>ever have the potential of earning in her area is probably
>$12-13/hr and that doesn't go far toward getting an attorney.
>My thought is- if we went to court today- she would get the
>right to claim the child back- so it is technically the right
>thing to do- plus- what can she say to us after we do her this
>kind of favor?
>I told my DH to break the CS situation down to her like
>this...
>We pay $300 a month now. If you claim her on taxes you will
>likely get about $2400 back- broken down that's $200 a month-
>so you are, in reality getting $500 a month in child support
>when we let you claim her. Does that sound like a reasonable
>argument? (She actually can be very reasonable when she wants
>to be).
>Tell me if I'm nuts....

That all depends on how financially savvy she is.  Something like that wouldn't work with me.  I would just file for a child support modification and ask for at least every other year for the tax exemption.