Update...on the activist..

[Sunshine1]

Don't know if you remember but a month or so ago I was asking advice on my Father's Rights activist Child support worker.

Ok, so I did her run around dance with the 2006 medical receipts.  I sent to BF in October, gave him until November to pay, never pays them so I then have to submit to child support and they stamped them on Dec. 29 2006.  Then the receipts needed to be resubmitted because my worker went on vacationin January and then got to my file in February, told me that the new law went into effect on January 1st 2007 so I needed to re-submit them with the new forms and notarize them...blah blah blah.

I sent everything in exactly as I had in 2006 with the exception of I filled out her stupid forms, notarized them and I even gave her a little extra packet of fun and mailed her copies of the Contempt motion I filed and won and all the attorney letters back and forth.  I also explained that these are receipts I have submitted in the past and have never had a problem and that if the BF objected to ANY of the receipts that I have submitted I was fully prepared for him to follow the proper channels of filing a motion with the court as outlined in the information packet she had sent me.

Well that must have done the trick because I went on there today and every single last penny was added.  Now that was weird.  She did not believe me that he had not given me the insurance cards for almost 2 years.

I just found out that we are back to square one again too.  SM left me a nice ha ha ha voicemail telling me that my prescription cards would not work...for the life of me I can't understand the games they are playing with me.  Instead of just giving me the new cards, here is what is going to happen...

I get a prescription for the child, it is going to say invalid insurance.  Then I have to ask for a print out of it saying declined insurance.
Then I have to use my insurance card for him.
Pay 25.00
Submit to the BF for the reimbursement of the 25.00 because it was declined and is responsible for entire bill.
Wait 30 days
Submit the 25.00 to Child support (with my new forms for 2007)
Show proof that the insurance was declined
Wait 30 more days
Gets added to Child support payments

When this is what should happen:

Give me new cards
Get prescription
Pay 5.00
Submit 2.50 to BF for his half
Reimburse BM for prescription in the amount of 2.50

Isn't option 2 a much better choice?  Why on earth do they keep choosing option one?  I don't get it?  Can anyone explain it to me?  I used to think it was a control issue but really I think its a stupidity problem.

Anyway thanks guys for making me tell the worker what was what and that if the BF had a problem to take it to court...it worked!

:)

[mistoffolees]

>
>Isn't option 2 a much better choice?  Why on earth do they
>keep choosing option one?  I don't get it?  Can anyone explain
>it to me?  I used to think it was a control issue but really I
>think its a stupidity problem.

It's not stupidity. It's control.

My stbx has a couple of psychiatric problems (as reported in the custody evaluation that she demanded!!). One of them involves narcissistic personality disorder. With this disorder, there's such an overwhelming need for vengeance that the person will lash out to hurt the other person even if they're hurting themselves worse. They don't feel the pain that they inflict on themselves (or, more commonly, they just blame the other person for this), but they get emotional fulfillment from inflicting pain on the other person. This behavior is not limited to NPDs - lots of 'normal' people do it, as well.

There's nothing you can do about it but learn to live with it and know that you're going to have to do 3 times as much work to get what's right as anyone else will.

[Mamacass]

Sunshine- that's ridiculous that you should have to jump through so many hoops just to get BF to pay what he is supposed to and to make DCSE take care of business.  Sounds like you got DCSE to finally take some action though.  

Mistoff- Funny, what you just described (NPD) sounds a LOT like BM.  I feel like she somehow gets off on trying to make our life difficult.  I never thought about it until reading your post, but its not just us, she tries to make everyone's life difficult, which is why people don't stay around her long.  The woman LOVES drama.  

[mistoffolees]

>Mistoff- Funny, what you just described (NPD) sounds a LOT
>like BM.  I feel like she somehow gets off on trying to make
>our life difficult.  I never thought about it until reading
>your post, but its not just us, she tries to make everyone's
>life difficult, which is why people don't stay around her
>long.  The woman LOVES drama.  


There's actually a cluster of closely related psychological disorders - Narcissistic Personaity Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, and Histrionic Personality Disorder. Even a well trained psychologist will sometimes have a hard time determining which is the primary issue.

I would strongly urge you to pick up a book or two on the subject. One of the characteristics of NPD in particular is that these people are very charming and sociable, and they have a strong need for you to believe that there's nothing wrong with them. They're very good at making you feel that YOU are the crazy one. Dealing with them requires a lot of work.