Using support to harrass...

[gemini3]

Last year my ex chose to close her case with support enforcement, and have me pay her directly.  Since then, I have been sending my support check to her on the first of the month via certified mail.  

Every month my ex sends me e-mails, text messages, and calls me (sometimes in front of the children), asking when she will get her support check, accuses me of being late every month, and accuses me of paying less than the minimum amount.  If I am picking up the children, she will ask me for it in front of them.  She will continue to do this, sometimes several contacts in one day, until the post office delivers the check to her.  She is asking me to give her the check in person instead of mail it.  I disagree with this for the obvious reasons, and think it's unecessary.  

Bottom line is that she closed her case with DCSE so that I have to pay her directly, and since then has used this as an opportunity to harrass me every month.  I am paying her the full amount ordered, and I send her the check on the first of every month.  Is there anything I can do to protect myself from this?

[notnew]

Open your own case with DCSE and have the payments go through them for your own protection.  I did this and it has worked very well.

I had a few bumps in the road at the onset. I submitted the application along with the $25 processing fee. They called me at work telling me they were sending it back to me because my ex was supposed to be the one submitting it. I told them no way, that I wanted the payments to go through them to prove I was paying.

I've been going through them for over  7 years now.

Otherwise, send her a separate certified letter to her spelling out the date that you will be sending the money via certified mail each month and that unless it is 1 week overdue, she is to not contact you about it. Also that you will not be paying her in person and to please not discuss these things in front of the children. Let her know that if this behavior persists,  you will go to court to ask that the DCSE office open up a new case.

Good luck.

[gemini3]

Thank you.  I took your advice and pulled up an application online for DCSE.  You would not believe the way the thing is written!  One of the required documents for the application to be processed is a photo of the NCP.  The requested information for the CP is 8 lines.  For the NCP, an entire page, including your height, weight, hair and eye color, "ID marks", vehicle information, criminal history, the names and addresses of the NCP's parents, and the list goes on.

It's' disgusting!  I feel like I am immediately assumed to be a criminal just because I carry the label "NCP".  What a bunch of crap.  Let someone tell me that the system isn't biased.

At the bottom it even has a nice little section where the CP can choose whether or not they give the department permission to recoup from them "payments made in error".

Ugh.  Even though I shouldn't be at this point, sometimes I am still amazed.

[Jade]

You need to protect yourself by opening your own case with support enforcement.  This way, you have proof that you paid it.  And if she harasses you, just tell her that she needs to contact DCSE with any questions.  

[MixedBag]

I also sent you a PM with some other ideas.

Priority confirmed delivery is also good enough (IMHO) to prove she received mail that contains CS checks.  Forgot to add that in the PM.

[KAT]

I'm sorry; I'm sitting here laughing my fanny off. This is exactly why DH asked for a wage garnishment order biohag would have done the same thing! She started to argue against having one but the judge stopped her in her tracks by giving her one minute to speak...."Well..I..just...I....don't understand why he would want to do that...because I..." DUH. Of course I couldn't take it anymore, the stress was killing me, I blurted out "Because you'll harass us!" It sounded like an explosion in an empty room so the judge made me leave.

Anyway, just go get it done. Every minute that you have to deal with her demands & trivial b.s. is one less minute out of your own life. She loves the drama, people like that feed on it so you need to put an end to it even if it means filling out the bias forms. Oh! You can fight to get that changed to if you like!! Start writing letters! Every little bit helps!
KAT

[Sunshine1]

Did the paperwork ask if you had a facial hair or not?   Ours did..when DH was filling out the paperwork to be submitted on BM.  I told him to check it...because she got a copy.  LOL.  DH always says there is no box to check if you have a penis.!!