why now

[poeticdreamer4u]

      hello, my wife and i and three children live in north carolina. today i recieved a notice from mo. child support enforcement. the letter was concerning back support for my daughter from a previous marriage, this is a shock to me as i have not seen or heard from either since my ex-wife took her and left the state where custody and support were ordered a little over ten years ago. i would like to know why after all this time, i am just now being notified of her where abouts?also what are my rights and what course of action should i pursue being they live in mo., i in nc., and the original order was from va.? any help or direction would be greatly appreciated.
thank you,
tom

 

[olanna]

sounds like you have not been paying on the order. If there was an order for child support, you owe it.  

Ten years is a long time not to see your kid.

[poeticdreamer4u]

not disputing the order... but it was to be sent to my ex, not the court. not sure how to send something to someone if you do not even know what state they are in?i just do not understand why she has surrfaced all of a sudden? also if she can tell cse my address why not contact me or let my daughter contact me? this is someone who took my daughter three weeeks after the court order and has not been seen or heard from til now....?i did not tell her to run away with another man with my daughter in tow. i am still fairly close to where the original order was issued.

[babyfat]

This woman may have fallen on hard times applied for assistance and they require you to cooperate in order to receive funding for usually welfare. She probably didn't think they would really find you. She may not have even given your address they may have just found you through your social security number. Or she could have given your address in hopes of getting a large sum of money. You are probably going to have to pay up because you knew the order existed but you have to find out what state has juristiction over the case probably the one that granted the order in the first place, then file on violation of the parenting plan and for a modification of cs becuase after 10 years the amount should be different unless your making the same as you did back then. There might be some type of amnisty since you did not know were to find her to send a check. Depending on the judge and state laws you could have to pay anything from a portion of it to the whole thing or just pick up paying the new amount now. I suggest you go get another copy of the order from where it was granted and contact a lawyer to see how to proceed.

[olanna]

The question in my mind is why you didn't go looking for your child.  Ten years is a really long time.  

Who cares why now?  You had to know if she had a order that you needed to pay it.  Why not just send it through the courts and let them worry about finding her location?  And in that, You could have requested your visitation.

I think it's a great opportunity to reconnect with your child.  It's just sad that you missed all of those years.

Best to you.

[poeticdreamer4u]

than you, i have already gotten contact info. for the state of the original order. they did track me through my ssn. i intend to seek legal advice. i did try to find them for the first five years, but kept running into dead ends...i am not trying to avoid anything or escape it where my daughter is concerned. it just struck me as odd that after ten years she decided to try to find me or collect when she was not concerned about the feelings of our daughter or my feelings until now. it is all just frustraiting.
thanks

[Davy]

I may have a different slant on this issue than others.  Personally, I have always been a CS advocate ... bascically children NEED support and in this system one has to put it out there and then HOPE it goes to the intended purpose.  In your case, CS should not be the main point of contention.

From what I can tell form your posts you still do not know the whereabouts of your child or if the child is with the mother or in protective services. Nor do you know the blight of this child all these years. Figurtively and legally your child was stolen and hidden from a parent and that crosses from civil into criminal. (See Criminal Interference by state) in the articles section on this site.  

These issues (missing and exploited children) far out-weigh issues of CS but the 'state' may think and emphasise otherwise.  You know how all doors were closed when the child first went missing.  

I would try to find a "rule of law" bulldog attorney that is familiar with divorce/custody statues.

[olanna]

A glimmer of hope in the middle of a hurricane?

Davy, my child WAS hidden from me but that didn't mean I wasn't responsible for paying the CS.

First thing judge is going to say is "if you didn't see in your child or pay support for 10 years, you are a poor excuse for a parent, I don't care what the reason was."

[poeticdreamer4u]

i did go to look for my child and sent money to her mother, in hopes that it would reach my daughter. gave up all i had on the east coast and went to the west coast when i tracked her to vegas , only to find that she was gone with a different man( she had left the one she ran off with). no money, exhausted mentally and physically i came home to the east coast to try and start over, in hopes that one day i would find her. ten years and counting and not a day goes by that i do not wonder where she is and how she is doing. ten years i send x-mas, birth-day , valentines,ect... to her grandmother in hopes that it will be passed on only to hear nothing! now, after getting a start on a new life(still sending things to grandmother)trying to take care of my new family she surrafaces with these legalities as if i am the one who has been in the wrong all this time! i am tired and it is taking a toll on my family! yet i still only know that she is somewhere in mo.i would give anything for her to come and live with us,to be able to meet and grow up with her new brother and sister.