What I have learned from trial...

[sharptimes5]

We are in Santa Rosa County, FL and all of the logs that we submitted were done in Microsoft word.  Almost none of the log pages had complete sentences, but they were admitted as evidence and sit in the huge file.  We made sure to make copies of the logs for the file, Judge, his clerk, our attorney and my husband's ex's attorney.  Those logs are a major part of how we gained custody of my stepdaughter.
We have separate folders for mail coming in, mail going out, hubby's calls to their daughter, calls to the ex regarding their daughter...each in a different color and clearly marked on the cover.  Even though the ex hasn't tried to contact their daughter in over 2 years we still keep up the logs and print and put everything into the folders with backups on CD.  Documentation of any kindcan really help turn the tide.

Carol

[littlebit]

MSDad,

Thanks for the info, and I'll be looking for the rest when your court is over.  Please clarify if you can:

>>On 37 contempts, I only got one on her.
What made the difference on the one you got?  Was it in writing?

>>All her lies and deceit do not matter....Her words are golden.
How can you tell what matters and what doesn't before it's all over?

LittleBit's Dad

[MYSONSDAD]

The custody end has been put on hold for the time being. I have no idea how I managed to get one contempt. They were all done the same way, Optimal daily log sheet, gas receipt and when I had one, the incident report. Funny thing is, the one contempt I did get, had no report.

My witnesses have not testified yet, that may make a difference.

Because during trial, she is sitting there making comments, nothing seems to be entered after she runs her mouth. I have backup documents to disprove her lies.

After this is over, I will clue everyone in on what is really going on...

[MYSONSDAD]

>When you find yourself the victim of other's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities, remember, things could be worse....you could be them.<

I like that...

Like you, everything is color coordinated. Makes things easy to find. The attorney is very impressed with the organization of everything and how they relate to other folders.

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

Have just skimmed the surface of the custody end. With my journals, I am hoping the Optimal will help substantiate the entries.

Still have a very long way to go, I am looking at a 14 day trial.

"Children learn what they live"

[MYSONSDAD]

We have all been ordered back to mediation. With any luck, my files of goodies will now make a difference.

Glad to hear, documenting will hold up. I really don't know what more I can do...

"Children learn what they live"

[c_alexander]

yeah be careful she might be watching you here...you never know. I often wonder if my ex is or not...but then again I kinda want her to see what I write here because I think she would be amazed to see that I was not calling her a tramp or anything...just trying to fight for our daughter and our rights.

I'm in your corner Mysonsdad. wish I could do more, but all I can do is root for you. you seem like a pretty intelligent guy so even if things don't go as planned I am sure you are more then capable of handling it. Fourteen days is gonna be rough, emotionally, physically and financially draining but hang in there.

Best wishes and good luck my friend

[FLMom]

Our case got a little wacky because while we never had the Judge "hear" our trial, he did give us time the day of the hearing
to "work it out" and entered all of that into the court minutes.

I kept a log but used it as a reference only. It was a great help when I notated dates and could refer back to it as "what happened when".

The most notable logs I kept were of receipts. Courts seems to care more about money issues than anything else. I broke it down into groups:

Medical Expenses
School and Classroom Expenses
Clothes and Toiletries
Special Events and Meals Out

Now, the meals out can't be considered support, but it does show that you show an interest and spend quality time with your kids. Bottom line ex tried to say I owed him 10k in back support for the prior 3 years. I started pulling out files. Ex's atty balked, Judge says "OK we'll go over them another day" and ex said "nevermind". Any possible arrears negated. Not that any were possible--how bout 10k in the previous year ALONE that went directly to the welfare of our kids?

Other files good to have:

Proof of volunteer activity in schools.
Medical history for each child.
A school folder for each child.
An accomplishment folder for each child.
An accomplishment folder for you.
E-Mail and correspondence.
Legal history of both parties.
Legal history of any personal witnesses for both sides.
Rental or home purchase history.
Property Appraiser's information.
Income Tax records.
Proof of vehicle ownership.
DMV driving records.

You will probably not need all of these, but you never know WHAT you'll need until you get in there. At the last minute I pulled all of the MapQuest info out of the bulging file only to find us in a ten minute pissing contest about drive times. It's better to have it than not. And have MULTIPLE copies. It's not legal unless all sides get to see it.

Well, that's MY story. And joint custody is great.

Good luck MySonsDad. Let us know the rest of the story when you can.

FLMom

[MYSONSDAD]

Very good information!

I did the Mapquest too, showing not only the distance I drive, but how far she is from our sons doctor.

Another thing I did, was a written statement from my insurance company showing I had no violations or accidents and nothing turned into them for a claim, either on my house or car. Sometimes the courthouse computers only show the year your in.

Your so right, never know what is needed, so put everything in the trunk of the car. If I get a surprise request, I send my gopher out to get it. Did have to make one trip home for something. Learned my lesson after that.

[exwiferuinsson]

>>All her lies and deceit do not matter....Her words are golden.
How can you tell what matters and what doesn't before it's all over?

Didn't matter in DH's case either...mother's words were golden, though she lied through her teeth, made numerous false accusations against myself and father, police reports were falsified, she lied to psychologist, forensic psychologist, GAL and the court. Child sat in room with mother and father in counseling sessions, called his mother out on issues, she lied, he called her a liar, no amount of documentation mattered.
There were medical issues, school issues, child's well being issues...didn't matter. This woman had so many lies going and continuous motions for something new it was ridiculous.

The end result, the had 50/50 all equal shared parenting....court refused any modification, and made a couple of ridiculous orders at the request of the mother......by the way, that she NEVER followed through with!!