ex denying access & visitations

[tiredofhergames]

I have been having problems with my ex-wife (D) denying visitations since late March of this year. My son, who is 13, had asked me about coming to live with me and my wife, and we were in the process of talking to a lawyer about this in March. D caught wind of it, and then tried to claim that since my wife and I argued (I had forgotten her birthday, she was upset) in front of my son, it was a "violent atmosphere", and even went so far as to try and involve CPS in it. When my wife spoke to CPS, she was told that from March to May, they get several "complaints" from custodial parents against NCPs to try and keep them from having summer visitations. Nothing further came of it.

I was allowed to speak to my son in mid May for about 2 minutes, but his mother was on the phone listening and told him that he didn't have to talk to me.

I have called a minimum of twice a week, only to get answering machines, my wife and I have both attempted to pick him up for weekend visits and summer access, only to find "no one home".

In August, my ex and I went before an assistant attorney general for Texas about child support. My ex claimed  I hadn't paid it, I had proof I had. Turns out that when ex was remarried, she didn't file new name and address, so payments were sitting in limbo somewhere. I mentioned to the assistant AG at that time that my ex wasn't allowing me to see or talk to my son, at which time the assistant told my ex that she could be held in contempt of court, and the possible punishments that she could incur. My ex again tried playing the "violent" card, to which it was asked if she had proof. At that time, she got mad, and refused to talk anymore. The assistant gave me a number and website for Texas Access, and I called immediately after leaving her office.

At their advice, my wife typed up the standard "access and visitation" letters, and I began mailing a regular copy, and a certified copy each week I was to have visitation. The first week, my ex called at 3:00 on Friday to tell me my son had previous plans, and we would switch for the next weekend. I agreed, and again sent another letter outlining what we had discussed during the phone call.

My ex refused the first certified letter, and picked up the last 3 or 4 at one time - several days after attempts had been made.

Again, last night, we were to pick up my son, and after waiting over an hour, called the sheriff's office for a welfare check, another piece of advice from a Tx Access lawyer. They did not come near the house during the next hour or more, as we were sitting in front of it. At about 11 p.m., we received a message on our business phone from the dispatcher, and when my wife called back, no one knew anything. This afternoon, the dispatcher again called back, and spoke to me.

This is where it gets infuriating. It seems that no one ever went to the home. Instead, they called the house at regular intervals, and when my ex answered, they told her what was going on, to which she told them my son was fine, they had been to "dinner and a movie". The dispatcher then asked to speak to my son, who when asked, said he was fine. That's it. No visual proof, nothing. I was under the impression that a welfare check was to be done in person????

Anyway, I know I have a case, but what I don't have is a lot of money. Do I need to hire a lawyer? Or is the contempt of court charge(s) something I can file myself? Is each and every denied visit a seperate contempt? My ex seems to think if she just ignores it all, it ( and I ) will go away. It's not going to, and if I have to beg and borrow to get a lawyer, I will. However, if I can get the ball rolling without one, I would like to start there.

[patton]

I assume you are in Texas since you are on this board.  

First each visitation is a separate contempt, but a Judge is not going to look at a read every one.  We had an attorney when we filed contempts and you list each one very carefully.  List ones that you have absolute proof, because I guarantee the ex will LIE HER HEAD off trying to get out of them and the Judge will believe her over you unless you can prove differently.

Judge's also like to see a pattern on denied visitation, mine were usually around holidays, so that showed a pattern.  We had already been to court once, and were both ORDERED by the Judge to take the class Puttin Kids First.  It's online and you can take it online for a small fee and get your certificate.

If you take this course first and have your certificate with you this will show the Judge you are serious about parenting etc and will more than likely order your ex to take the course too.

Violations should be listed like:

1. On the weekend of BLANK I attempted to pick up son at EX's residence or wherever.  Ex was not at home at the time.  I waited 30 minutes and no one ever showed.

Now here is where it get's tricky Ex can just say she was there and you didn't show and Judge will believe her unless you have proof you actually did come.  Did you have a witness?  Was the witness related to you? Judges' figure relations will lie for you so be careful with witnesses.

Also sheriff's dept people do not like to be involved, so if you can just get a report from them that a well check was done and what time they actually talked to ex, this is proof.  

Do NOT go into the proof you have on your contempts, because ex will get a copy of your contempt and figure out a way to lie or get someone to lie for her.  Very seldom have I ever heard of anyone getting perjured in Family court.

What county in Texas are you in, maybe I can help you out?  I'm not a lot, so don't get too impatient.  

patton