Mother and Lawyer causing unnecessary lost visitation with Father & family

[kelli_r_m]

I am writing this in hopes that I can get some help from anyone who has been in a similar situation, or if anyone knows any family law attorneys that make payment plans in San Antonio, Tx. Thanks to anyone who can help.

Back in March, an isolated event happened in my house between me and my boyfriend involving his son which has caused us never ending problems between his mother and us including not being able to see his son and having to take unnecessary classes.

The events that took place:

My boyfriend's 4 year old son was acting up and I made a remark that I wanted to harm him. It was not directed toward him - just a rant out loud out of frustration. My boyfriend slapped me as a result and his son was in the adjoining room and witnessed his father strike me. This upset me very very much because it was unexpected and had never happened before. My boyfriend immediately went to his son and explained what had happened and how it was wrong of him and he should never do something like that. Like I mentioned, I was upset and called his mother and told her what had happened. My boyfriend then spoke to her and told her what had happened and how he had spoken with their son, and their son wasn't upset about what happened. The mother immediately came over and picked up their son and said that she was going to call her lawyer. The following day, we received a call from Child Protective Services with allegations against me and my boyfriend saying that we have an abusive relationship with eachother and with my children (I am a mother of 2 boys - ages 2 and 4 at the time). CPS came to my house to do an interview and told us that the mother was being irrational and found me and Brian not to have an abusive relationship with the children or eachother and found the event to be an isolated one and the case was closed. Because of the findings with CPS, the mother allowed our normal visitation with their son to continue. She called the house a couple of times when her son wasn't over there and I became angry with her and asked her not to call unless her son was over there or it was an emergency involving her son. I was so upset with her because being a mother is something I hold of value more then anything else and what she did was one of the worse things anyone could do to me. I didn't want to look at her, talk to her, have any involvement with her - I am positive this feeling would have passed, but it needed more then a few days after the event. The next day she called and said that she was taking my boyfriend to court. She said that she didn't want him to be around me because she was afraid I was going to harm him. Her lawyer filed under 153.004 (D) - pretty much this is a restraining order saying that their son shouldn't come over here because there is a history of domestic violence/abuse. At the moment my boyfriend has standard visitation, and the mother wanted to make it to where he could only have supervised visitations. A court date was set up for the first week of May, but my boyfriend and the mother had a mediation to try and avoid going to court - we couldn't afford a lawyer and risk her getting what she wanted. The lawyer explained what could happen to my boyfriend if they went to court and he asked the lawyer what we could do to prevent this. She told him to take an anger management class and for both of us to take parenting classes - she made it seem like it would be inexpensive and not take very long. It took her a month (after me calling multiple times) to send us the paperwork to sign up for the classes. The parenting classes are 8 weeks long, and I am due in a couple of weeks with our child and her lawyer said I didn't have to take the parenting classes. The anger-management classes are 24 weeks long - a total of $260, and they are at the same time as the parenting classes - making it a total of 8 months to take the classes. The mother set up supervised visitations at a kids exchange, but the times that this is open also interferes with the other classes. When my boyfriend and I agreed that the classes were what was best, we were not aware of the length and cost of the classes. We don't want to wait 8 months to be able to see his son again - we all miss him terribly and he is about to have a new little sister that we haven't even had much of a chance to prepare him for.

We want to go back to court, but we are not sure if we can do it without a lawyer. All we have are ourselves and the CPS files.

Any help will be appreciated. Thanks.

[jayandtami]

Go to http://www.fathershelphotline.com/ His number is also on the website and he is helping us also

[itbowen]

>Go to http://www.fathershelphotline.com/ His number is also
>on the website and he is helping us also


This seems to be some sort of scam site, and if it isn't it seems to fit the pattern of one.

[itbowen]

As to the classes interfering with the visitation, you could either go back to ADR (Arbitration), or court under the grounds that the mother was bad-faith bargaining.  This is allowed under ADR rules.  Also don't use her lawyer to do ADR use a court recognized Arbitrator that is un affilated with her / her lawyer.  Not to mention that if one of you go to the classes and the other does not, she could use it in court as a material reason to bring suit in a change of custody.

Things that I would do:

1)  Attend all classes possable, reschedule life but not the visitations.
2)  If it's a one can go, but the other can not take turns in who's not going.
3)  Dont' take advice from HER lawyer, find your own councel, or read the law yourself (//www.state.tx.us poke around and you will find it.  As well as other law materials so you know what can and can not be used in court).

4) KNOW THE LAW.  I did my own divorce, and got what I wanted out of the procedings, simply because I knew the law and how to construct leagal briefings in the state of Texas (I live in South Texas)  If you read the family law for Texas, Texas Rules of Evidence, and Cival Procedure, you will learn a lot about what the lawyer can, and can not ask for.

5)  Yes the court is probably biased against fathers in general as are most courts.  I would however structure arguments around the fact that it was an isolated incident, you are BOTH going to anger management, and parenting classes, and that if you can go to your particular faith's ministerial staff and go to counseling.  Preferably with someone who is both a licensed minister, and counseler.  Why is that? It is because that in adition to the reletivly unavailablity of counseling records, not absoulutly unobtainable, but hard, you get the shielding of Paster-Parishiner protection from discovery.

NO I AM NOT A LAWYER, BUT I HAVE READ A LOT OF LEGAL CODE, PROCEDURES, ADMINISTRATIVE CODE, ETC.

I usually settle my own stuff in court because I have read the law, and comprehend it.  I sugest everyone to do likewise.

[H Cole]

CONTACT CPS and there is legal aide in the state of texas