Teacher not allowing me info per BM

[Kboeds]

Just thought I would jump in here.

I sent DD school principle an email asking what I needed to do to get a copy of my DD report cards and ARD records. I fully intended to provide them with a written request and possibly even a copy of the court order to show I had a right to the record.
Well to my surprize I got a call two days later from the principle stating that she had given my email address to the registrar (sp) and the ARD administrator and that they would be contacting me to see where I wanted the information sent to. I was shocked and a little bothered by the fact that they didn't even want me to prove who I was. I did mention that they could find my name in the previous 10 or 11 years of my daughters records if that helped. So I sent an email with my address, and before to long I had what I asked for in my mail box.

Heres the kicker! I find out about a month later through a slip from DD that the school contacted SM and got permission to release the records to me. So it isn't bad enough that you have schools who are letting one bio parent dictate what another bio parent gets, I have a Step Parent determining what I'm allowed to know.
I have already been refused records from a medical provider stating that they won't get involved in a dispute and that only one copy of the record is being release and that they have MOM as the contact person.  The MOM that they are referring to is SM, not me.
 

[starbud99]

Wow. that must be hard. I had already asked the principle and they refused because of just the opp. the BM will not allow the records to be released because she thinks that I have no right to know anything, I wish my BM was as coropative as your SM. My wife is a SM too, and I let her read your post, and she wanted me to tell you that not all SM's are bad. She has nothing but the best interest for the children at heart, and its totally different being on her side of things. But me, im in the same boat as you, I have to fight for what rights I should have had any way. Doesnt seem fair. Good luck with the medical stuff, I know its hard. Who pays for your kids Medical bills? We pay for all Insurance, so we have more ease in getting medical info then she does. but we still allow her any info she needs about the kids. When it gets too far, is when she is trying to get information about the two of us. Thats too much. Anyway, good luck, and wish me luck

[Kboeds]

Tell your wife that I am a step mom too and I know we are not bad. The point is, I have NO LEGAL right to my step childrens records nor do I or any other Step Parent have any LEGAL right to decide what a Bio parent can or can't have access to.

I know SM is taking care of DD, the problem is that SM is telling everyone that she is her MOTHER and she isn't. I carry insurance on her and SM doesn't use it because she knows I would get notification of the visits even if it is after the fact.

I have not and would not Ever take that position with my step children. When and if they see the doctor when they are with us, their father takes them, not me. When records are requested, their father request them not me. I am their step mother and it is not my place nor am I legally intitled to any of that info.

It is my opinion that SM if acting fraudulently when she states or implies that she is DD Mother.

I do wish you luck and you have been given some good advise. I'm glad to see you being involved. DD BF didn't participate for the 14 years I had custody and he doesn't participate now that he has custody. SM takes her to all Dr.'s appointments and I'm not even told about them unless DD says something to me. BF has SM make all decisions like putting DD on birth control and I am never even consulted, then when I do try to get information I'm denied.

Sorry, touchy subject.

[jilly]

FERPA does not apply to private schools as they don't receive government funding.  It's only for public schools.

[Chills]

I'm a Pro at this (and a teacher to boot)

Call the Prinicpal, get his name and give him yours, repeat it two to three times and have him write it down.  If that gives you no satisfaction, call the superintendant of schools for the district and tell him your problem, offer to fax over the document.  (this is as far as I usually have to go, from here the Superintendant will call and ream out the Principal).  

If one week later you haven't recieved anything, call the superintendant back and speak to him/her again.  This time get his name, ask him to spell it out, and ask for the mailing address for the school department.  He/She will be curious and you reply "because my attorney needs to know where to serve the summons" and let him/her know that  your next call is to tell Mr (make up a name) at the Department of Education that the school didn't comply with your records request.  

I did this and had the materials FEDEXed to me immediately.  The Superintendant even conference called the principal with me on he line and made it clear the materials I requested had to be compiled and sent out IMMEDIATELY.  

AT my own school, the principal has asked me to explain the rights of such parents and what liability the school may face if not in compliance.  No NCP for a child at my school has such difficulties anymore.

~Chills

[starbud99]

They refused to give me any information again. The ex forged some parenting time paperwork and then brought it in to the school. I think I have her though, because they took a copy of the paper. basicly the school wont do anything for us. my next call for tommorrow is to the superintendant.

[c_alexander]

I hear your pain...my ex wifes boyfriend..not even a step parent legally....was in attendance at several parent teacher conferences. Conferences that I was never made aware of. Granted I could raise a big legal stink about the fact that this man has no rights to this information, but to be honest it wouldn't get me anywhere. The system simply does not care.

I have had MUCH better luck filing a complaint against the school with FERPA. Of course the principal of my daughters school is upset now because I went to that, but once she took the time to look into my daughters file and see the several letters I had sent requesting this information she calmed down a bit. I got to hear "I wish you would have called me on this first." to which I replied "I did...look at the letterrs".

Needless to say someone at that school got their butts chewed out when it was all said and done. Since then I have had no problems. I have notified them I am moving there to colorado in July/August so I believe that will make things easier. They'll think twice to mess with me if they know I live there and can and will come down to the school to raise a fuss if they get out of line.

[jilly]

I would get a certified copy of your Parenting Agreement from the courthouse and send it with another (more strongly worded) FERPA letter from this site.  They can compare what your ex gave them with what the clerk of court is certifying is a TRUE and CORRECT copy of your Parenting Agreement.  This will not make the school happy and Lucy will have some splainin to do! :D

[c_alexander]

The school district has a lawyer/attorney to protect them in cases liek this. My advice is to contact this person and tell them the trouble you are having getting copies of your own childs school records even though you have provided the school with ALL of the proper information. (divorce decree, formal written letter requesting information, etc) The schools attorney is most likely the ONLY person in the school districxt who knows just how serious failure to comply with this law can be for the school and if they do, they will get on this right away. Might be worth your while to consider a civil suit against this school also.

[Hawkeye]

Seems to me, this has FERPA written in bold letters all across it.

If there is no court order, stating that you are denied school info/access, you have entitlement to ALL public school records, access, etc. You can have lunch with your child, attend any event, conference, whatever. Just don't be a pest about it, they can switch it around on ya.

Sidebar... BTW, did you know that (at least) in Iowa, there is no law preventing registered sex offenders from visiting a public school?

Heck, if a registered sex offender can visit a school, why can't a parent?

By all means, tell the superintendent what's been going on.

I have... even by BCC email... it works! The school counsellor won't even look me in the eye now, after I explained how he ignorantly denied me contact with "our" son on at least one occasion.