No energy...

[crayiii]

I haven't seen my son since July 2004.  I have been fighting first, the locate he and my wife, then to keep up with them, then to get papers served, then a 3-month UCCJEA battle between two states, then defending against false DV allegations.

Today, we signed temporary parenting plan orders and I get to have my son this weekend.  When her attorney and I came to a verbal agreement last night, I was jumping with joy (really was!!).  Now that the papers have been signed and they faxed his airplane reservations to me, I can hardly stay awake.  No energy...

I am SO excited to see him, yet I can hardly walk from the car to my living room.  Has anyone else felt this way?  How long did it last?  

[ocean]

Your emotions are running high...try to do something calming and once he is really here I am sure you will feel RELIEF !!! Good luck !!!

[wendl]

how exciting, good luck. You need to try and get some sleep though.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[TPK]

I have followed your saga on Soc's board and I'm happy you'll get to see your child.

I went 4 months without seeing my 1 year old. I still don't see her enough mainly due to a vindictive-swine ex-wife, we're battling in court still.

However, during this whole time I feel the opposite that you do. I have such anxiety that it's hard to even sleep. I run a small family business and find myself there for 12 hours or more a day just to keep my mind off my child and on something else.

Good luck to you, and keep up the fight!


TPK

[crayiii]

I couldn't sleep at all last night and I was a zombie at work.  I ended up coming home after half a day thinking that I would sleep.  I have tried to sleep but I can't.

I went back and read a bunch of the declarations my wife wrote over the last several months.  Most of what she said centered around how I don't care for our child and that I am only trying to see him in order to "control" her.  If she only knew...

It's amazing how, in someone else's mind a person can go from being "the best dad in the world" one day, to a complete slime that hates their child the next.

I just recently started dating a very wonderful person who has a 8 year old boy.  He's a good kid, all boy.  He wants to see his dad sooooo bad.  Last weekend we drove 4 hours to drop him off with his dad (his dad said he couldn't come get him) and we got to his house and his dad said "hi son, I'm just getting ready to leave with my friends, maybe next weekend."

This little boy cried for half the trip back.  It broke my heart.  It's fathers like that that give us all a bad name...

[TPK]

Whenever I read my wife's pleadings it makes me sick. Her affidavit she filed in the motion for divorce didn't have a hint of truth in it.

I'm not a hateful person, and I'm generally easy to get along with. But....if my wife was on fire......I wouldn't piss on her.

Problem you & I (and many others) have is we have to deal with our child's mother for the rest of our lives.

My father once told me "people learn from their mistakes, but most times it's cheaper to learn from other people's mistakes" How right he was.

Hang in there, and be a good dad and I'm sure everything will work out just fine........it just takes time.


TPK

[DecentDad]

Hi,

I've been engaged in child custody conflict for 4+ years.

What you and TPK describe are comparable to my early years (when child was 1 year old)... same BS about what an awful, uncaring, hostile man I am.

I too go through bouts of anxiety, depression, anger at the injustice of it all.

Much less nowadays, however.

Learning to deal with it all takes time.  That's about the only ingredient that will make a difference.

In terms of what you may be experiencing right now, the body is wonderful at giving us adrenaline when we need our "fight or flight" response.

However, at the first opportunity that we no longer need to be on that edge, we need to recover.

Adrenal glands (i.e., adrenaline) really take a major hit during stress.

When they're depleted and danger has gone, it can cause us to crash.

So... in addition to just resting, taking a break, doing something fun, you may want to look at a B-complex stress supplement (e.g., from a natural foods store).

That'll help build back your body's resources.

There's a good reason that soldiers need R & R between battles... the fighting is such a drain on the body in every measure.

DD

[justwantstobeadad]

Congradulations!
I am very happy for you and your son. All the best to you both.