just a thought...

[Bolivar]

Emasculated1,

First, I do not have a magic wand or lamp to grant wishes.

Second, you are not alone, every year, millions of Americans go through what you're facing. They survive and so will you.

Third, you are new and learning the ropes.  It is normal to be dazed and confused, angry and infuriated,  discouraged and miserable.  That is why you are here; to change your sisuation and to lessen the pain.

You made a decision at the very beginning not to be involved with the children.  Now you have changed your mind.  GOOD For You.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"i stopped drinking"[/FONT][/EM]
>> Only a heavy drinker would make that statement.  I am not judging or condemning, I am merely alerting you to a possible problem.

 [EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"if i wasn't being seduced by one mother, i was ignored by the other."[/FONT][/EM]
>> I must pause and reflect on this......NO WAY,,, While screwing one women, the other got mad, and Vice versa.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]" i have had my soul crushed because of all this, and yet i press on."[/FONT][/EM]
>> The mom's really got that pissed about you bouncing back and forth banging one then the other?!? The unfairness of it all.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"my hatred of women grew, only because every woman i talked to spoke of working and paying cs, but never of fighting for what is mine."[/FONT][/EM]
>> I too hate it when those bimbo's don't tell me what to do and fight for.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"i thank you all for the info, but it doesn't make me feel any better."[/FONT][/EM]
>> Information is information, it is the reader who puts the emotions in.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"but i knew to be a slave to the state was one thing, a slave to their mothers something else."[/FONT][/EM]
>> I'm starting to get bogged down.  Who makes you a slave to the mothers?  If I was you I would go after this "Who" person.  

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"this isn't what i wanted my family life to be like."[/FONT][/EM]
>> Neither did I.  Welcome to the real world.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"when do i get a break? when is it my time to finally get to be the father i know i can be?"[/FONT][/EM]
>> RIGHT NOW!!!  be the Greatest father you can be under the circumstances.  The children have no say about the relationship they have with you.  You are the adult and are responsible to continue and nurture the bond.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"i have nothing."[/FONT][/EM]
>> this has NOTHING to do with being a Great Dad.  Get over it.

Captain Jim's saying:
[EM][FONT COLOR= "BLACK" SIZE=+2]No one is going to feel sorry for you for very long. It's absolutely awful what has happened to you. But you must create a new role, a new plan and get yourself back up and going again."[/FONT][/EM]


Yes I was harsh.  Right now you are stuck in the "blue funk, cheerlessness, discouragement, dreariness, dullness, dumps, gloominess, heavyheartedness, dispiritedness,  I'm a victim, downheartedness, woo is me, marry-go-round".  WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE.  It is a very painfull place to be.  The longer you stay there the worse life gets.

The question we all scream while stuck on the marry-go-round is "How do I get off, how can I feel better?"

I agree it is important to find a place where Dads can get together, get help and VENT.  Yes,,, Vent without being picked apart for being politically incorrect.

I have posted some down right obnoxious – totally off base – emotional crap.  .  Dads understood where I was coming from and helped me FOCUS on what was pertinent.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"Hope? "[/FONT][/EM]  Personally I found the answer in accepting things as they are at this moment.  That does NOT mean I have to LIKE the way things are, just accept them.  Once I accept things I can start making some changes to better my situation.

I'm not much of a church go'er but when I am in a bad sisuation I will repeated "This To Shall Pass".  When I am in a good sisuation I will repeated "This To Shall Pass".  

Spring to Summer to Autumn to Winter to Spring...  

Bad goes to something, which goes to something else, which sooner or later ends up on Good, which goes to something, which goes to something else, which sooner or later ends up on Bad, which........

 Remember, the only thing that remains the same is the fact that everything is always changing.

Just like you I popped into this planet with NO idea what the hell was going on.

Just like you I've had to learn along the way.  

Just like you I have NO say in the workings of stars, weather, the color objects, the smell of shit, on and on and on......

Just like you this world does NOT revolve around me and more often than not my wishes and desires are not granted.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]"can anyone here give me a glimmer of hope?"[/FONT][/EM]
>> This To shall Pass.

[EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]tell me it'll be ok?"[/FONT][/EM]
>> you'll be OK

 [EM][FONT COLOR="BLUE"]tell me i'll get my babies soon?"[/FONT][/EM]
>> As I mentioned before, I do not have a magic wand or lamp to grant wishes.  I can guarantee this, the longer you stay in the "pity party, I'm a victim, poor me, marry-go-round" the longer, if at all, will you see your children.


Check out this link:
http://www.custodyiq.com/mustknow.html


Plus as an added Bonus I am giving you the link to possible the longest thread here as SPARC and possible THE WORLD.   heeeee heeeee he ha ha haaaaa........

If you read the entire thread I believe most of the questions you have will be answered.  BUT you must read every Single post.

May the Force be with you my Jedi Knight, fighting Evil for the sake of Good. May you become trained in the righteous ways of the Force in order to rescue the captured children from the evil Custody's System Death Star and the dark forces of the Empire, led by evil Darth Politician Vader (voice by George Bush).

Subject: "I AM the evil female...super long post"     
Author: RainGirl

http://www.deltabravo.net/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=100&topic_id=4084&mesg_id=4084

[MYSONSDAD]

Do you have a CO in regard to visitation?

Most of us here have had someone else with their finger on the control button. I don't know if this will help, but educate yourself. Document. Don't sit there feeling sorry for yourself, do something. There has been progress in the last few years. Don't give up hope, press forward with the rest of us. Get involved with the reform of Family Court. Use your energy to make things happen. Turn something ugly into something good, it may not come in time for some of us, but I don't want my son inheriting this mess.

And Bol, thanks for the blast from the past, I had forgotten about icegirl!

"Children learn what they live"

[Emasculated1]

hey...

thanks for the kick in the ass. i really needed that.

a few corrections...

1. i wasn't a heavy drinker. hell, most times i'd get drunk off of 3 beers. but i'd only drink about once every 3-4 months. i stopped all that when they were born, because i wanted to be a good example to my boys. call it getting ready.

2. when i said i was being seduced by one mother, every time i went to see my oldest son she show up to the door naked. i'd tell her what i came for (my son) and she want sex. i'd tell her no, and she'd go into the "you don't care about him" thing.

3. the other mother ignored me by basically not being around. go to her dad's house, i couldn't find her. but, as soon as she needed money or diapers, wow she could find then.

i thank you bol, for letting me know that the world isn't gonna kiss my butt and feeling sorry for myself is pointless. time to man the f*** up and fight. thank you, master jedi.
My blood...My babies...My life.