Visitation question....

[dipper]

Court order states dh gets three weekends per month - not specified weekends.  It goes on to state half of Christmas vacation from school (no specification as to what week).

Numerous times we would try to arrange visitation in advance, bm wouldnt respond - or would change it in some way.  now that custody case is looming, she has began to send schedules ahead of time - but, she always states that nothing can be changed as they have out of town plans for every weekend she has.  This has not proven true before.

Okay...for the month of December she sent a letter stating the weekends dh could have and said that she will have ss the last weekend and they were going out of town - couldnt be changed.

The three weekends she gave include Christmas weekend.  This is to be dh's court ordered third weekend - yet she wants ss on Christmas day overnight to Monday.

We responded that a make-up day is necessary, that dh would pick ss up last night or would keep ss until next Saturday (the weekend she is going out of town).

She never responded at all.......

Any suggestions?  

If we refuse to return ss on her dictated day and time could dh be in contempt?


I may ask Soc about this, but wanted any advice from those of you that may have experienced this.  

[CustodyIQ]

I think your orders are vague enough (from your description) that neither of you would be held on contempt-- unless you have the child for more than 3 weekends per month (possibly IN ADDITION to any holiday time) or the mother refuses to allow the child to spend 3 weekends per month in your care (possibly INCLUDING holiday time).

It's worth asking Soc about, sure.

To me, it sounds like your parenting plan isn't working too well due to inability of the parents to cooperate with such a plan.

So, you can go back to court to ask the court to clarify something akin to...

"Child to be with father on first, second, and fourth weekend of each month, from Xpm on Friday to Xam on Monday"

"In odd years, child to be with father from Xpm on the last day of school prior to winter break through 6pm on the Saturday closest to the middle of winter break.  In odd years, child to be with mother from 6pm on the Saturday closest to the middle of winter break through return to school following the end of winter break.  In even years, the schedule reverses."

"Holiday scheduling shall always supercede normal scheduling, with no make-up time"

Boom, you're done.  Even though there's no specific mention of X-mas, such an approach will balance it out over the years (i.e., so that each parent alternates spending X-mas with the kid).

None of this constant back-and-forth about which weekends you can have, can't have, etc.

But you mention that you have a custody case coming up, so I'm not if it's worth bringing this back to court right now.

[dipper]

Yes, clear details in the custody order would be nicer.  As is, its all balanced in the one parents favor.....her whims override everything else.

There is a custody case at hand..and the longer it continues the nastier it appears to be getting.    DH is verbally abused......and since dh and I married last year, it appears most of the animosity has turned on me.  The other day the case was continued because of the GAL being unable to show.....bm jumped dh with false accusations and this led to her mother and I having words (with bm running away as usual)......then as they drove the 2 hours back home with ss.....they cursed me the entire way.  They used to hate dh - now he was a nice man until he married me (the *itch).....