If the mother dies. What happens next

[Bradley]

I am concerned after reading several instances where the BM/CP have passed away and a grandparent gets custody even though the father is active, like myself, and has extended standard visitation in Texas. Should I do a motion for clarification that has something in the papers that states who the child would go to if she passes away?

Does anyone know of a good forms website if you are filing on your own?

[Brent]

>I am concerned after reading several instances where the
>BM/CP have passed away and a grandparent gets custody even
>though the father is active, like myself, and has extended
>standard visitation in Texas. Should I do a motion for
>clarification that has something in the papers that states who
>the child would go to if she passes away?

YES, YES, YES!  And read this:

If A Custodial Or Non-Custodial Parent Dies
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/ifcpdies.php


>Does anyone know of a good forms website if you are filing on
>your own?

You mean for parenting  plans? These guys have some but there are undoudtably other places you could get them too: http://www.parentingplan.net/

[wendl]

We have a person on here that has been dealing with this 1st hand.  I really hope this person replies to you.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[Kboeds]

I can't help with your question but I had to chime in.

I hear so many stories about ex's and the crap they pull. Trust me I have had my share of experiences with my ex and DH ex.

I have said many times that my ex is a very lucky man to have an ex like me. I kick myself now for being so easy and letting so many things go. Anyone who has read my post before knows I lost my daughter to her BF and SM in 2004 because I was too nice and let them get away with too much.

In 2002 my husband and I went and had our wills done. Before making my will, I spoke to my ex about custody issues concerning my daughter in the event of my death. I told him I would obviously list him as the primary person to get custody in the event of my death. The question was who would get custody if BF was not able to take her. BF and I agreed to let DD decided between her SM and my sister who has always been second in line. DD said she would rather live with SM so that she could still grow up with her brother and sisters.

My Will states that in the event of my death DD is to go to her BF and if he is unable or unavailable to take her she would then go to her SM. I no longer have custody so if anything happened to me now, she already lives with her dad.

I don't understand why more Ex's don't take care of that sort of thing and think about the kids and their siblings.

KB

[SLYarnell]

Do NOT pass Go do not collect $200, go straight to your children, pick them up and take them home with you.  Do not let ANYONE convince you the children need an adjustment period or give you ANY excuse.  If the mother dies the children will adjust and grieve with the person most able to comfort them, YOU, the FATHER.

I am passionate about this subject because it did happen to us.  We have spent 8 years and over $100,000 and just have minimum visitation with my husband's daughter and her mother is dead!  I have horror stories about this very subject and I dont wish this on any parent.

Again!  as soon as you hear about the death, go get your children and take them home.  Then file for custody first business day after.  Grandparents or even others could try to go around you on this but you are going to beat them to the punch and you will already have your children where they belong.

[Avaya]

Amen!!!!  I totally agree.

[BizyLizy]

You do need to act fast, though.  After six months, the grandparents can theoretically establish a "substancial change in circumstance."  This just means that they have created a "status quo" over a period of time & most Texas courts deem six months of a child living with someone as the magic time period.  After that, they generally don't want to change anything, as long as the child seems adjusted.

Grandparents in Texas don't have automatic rights.  So basically they have a huge uphill battle going against the biological father in obtaining custody.  

Best of luck to you.