please help, anyone.............

[tnlwsn]

my son is three years old, his mother and I we havent gone to court yet, she moved with my and will not tell me where, ive given her 1.800. dollars this month,very worried she just got a job as bartender (dont know where) she has a dui and just recently had the police called on for leaving my son in the car alone for a half an hour, she called me and told me she wants more money then she will meet me and let me see him, I just spent my last dime on a lawyer and the rest to her.and now I dont even know where my son is living, I dont even know where to send the court papers to, shes never really bonded with my son and has a very hot temper.........

[MixedBag]

read your other post too....not sure where to tell you to start.

If she wants more money, agree to meet with her and ask the police for a civil standby.

ALSO ask your lawyer what he suggests you do because you don't know where she is.  You want to follow his guidance.

I'd also stop giving her money and set it aside instead because in the end you may owe her "back" support and stuff, so you'll have it, BUT if she keeps in contact for the money, you got a better shot at keeping her in town...

Just don't really know what the right answer is...

[CustodyIQ]

I think it's a good idea to not pay her anything if there are no court orders, and if she is refusing to let you see the child.

I also think it's a good idea to take 25% of your net income and put it in a savings account, in case you get ordered to pay past child support.  This way, you can show a court that you've been setting aside money to support your child, but the mother cannot be found and you have no idea where the child is.

I think you should consult with an attorney, even if you can't afford to retain one.  Pay to meet with one for an hour or two, so you can understand your rights.

If you can prove the things you described of her (DUI and leaving child unattended in car), those are relevant in a custody decision.

You'll want to file a court action to get orders on ruling and a parenting schedule.  Child support will be set at that time too.

[dealin with it]

Here in Michigan, if the mother doesn't tell you where they live it would be contempt, and she could go to jail, and/or be fined. If noone has filed for custody, then my advice is to file b4 she does. Also in MI, there's a 125mi rule. If your the one that filed , and she moved outside of a 125mi radius of your home then it is considered parental kidnapping. Like said above, I would also quit giving her money. Put it into an escrow acct. You have the right to know where your child is living. The stuff that you said she has done are strikes against her. Call the Police agencie that handled the complaint, and retrieve a copy of the police report, and submit it at the custody hearing. Hope this helps.

[wendy11068]

Actually, here in Michigan, the CP cannot move the child more than 100 miles from the legal residence established with divorce and custody orders without written permission from the NCP or Court Order.  It isn't parental kidnapping unless the NCP has no residence information and cannot make contact, just an offense that could force the CP to move back within boundaries or change custody.

Sounds a bit like extortion to me....

[tnlwsn]

my son is three years old, his mother and I we havent gone to court yet, she moved with my and will not tell me where, ive given her 1.800. dollars this month,very worried she just got a job as bartender (dont know where) she has a dui and just recently had the police called on for leaving my son in the car alone for a half an hour, she called me and told me she wants more money then she will meet me and let me see him, I just spent my last dime on a lawyer and the rest to her.and now I dont even know where my son is living, I dont even know where to send the court papers to, shes never really bonded with my son and has a very hot temper.........

[MixedBag]

read your other post too....not sure where to tell you to start.

If she wants more money, agree to meet with her and ask the police for a civil standby.

ALSO ask your lawyer what he suggests you do because you don't know where she is.  You want to follow his guidance.

I'd also stop giving her money and set it aside instead because in the end you may owe her "back" support and stuff, so you'll have it, BUT if she keeps in contact for the money, you got a better shot at keeping her in town...

Just don't really know what the right answer is...

[CustodyIQ]

I think it's a good idea to not pay her anything if there are no court orders, and if she is refusing to let you see the child.

I also think it's a good idea to take 25% of your net income and put it in a savings account, in case you get ordered to pay past child support.  This way, you can show a court that you've been setting aside money to support your child, but the mother cannot be found and you have no idea where the child is.

I think you should consult with an attorney, even if you can't afford to retain one.  Pay to meet with one for an hour or two, so you can understand your rights.

If you can prove the things you described of her (DUI and leaving child unattended in car), those are relevant in a custody decision.

You'll want to file a court action to get orders on ruling and a parenting schedule.  Child support will be set at that time too.

[dealin with it]

Here in Michigan, if the mother doesn't tell you where they live it would be contempt, and she could go to jail, and/or be fined. If noone has filed for custody, then my advice is to file b4 she does. Also in MI, there's a 125mi rule. If your the one that filed , and she moved outside of a 125mi radius of your home then it is considered parental kidnapping. Like said above, I would also quit giving her money. Put it into an escrow acct. You have the right to know where your child is living. The stuff that you said she has done are strikes against her. Call the Police agencie that handled the complaint, and retrieve a copy of the police report, and submit it at the custody hearing. Hope this helps.

[wendy11068]

Actually, here in Michigan, the CP cannot move the child more than 100 miles from the legal residence established with divorce and custody orders without written permission from the NCP or Court Order.  It isn't parental kidnapping unless the NCP has no residence information and cannot make contact, just an offense that could force the CP to move back within boundaries or change custody.

Sounds a bit like extortion to me....