Wondering if we have a case...

[cobb717]

Hi All- I was wanting some input as to if my husband and I have a case to get custody of my 2 stepsons.

First off a little background: The 2 sons are 8 and 10. My husband the their BM have been divorced for 7 years. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. I have a 9 year old daughter who lives with us and we have a baby on the way due in September. The BM has been remarried for 6 years. She has a 18 month old by her current husband. We get the boys every other weekend, for most holidays, and for half the summer. We are required to pay $400 a month in support.

In about the past year to year and a half her care of the children has deteriorated. When we get the boys for the weekend they always show up filthy. Dirty clothes, hair, undergarment, etc. They almost always have on the same clothes they were in the weekend before. The boys have informed us that they don't have clothes or they don't have clean clothes. I have been keeping a journal of what we have found out is going on with them. At one point we received a dental bill for $600 for the boys. When we saw them after that we found out the oldest had had 5 teeth pulled due to cavities and the younger had 4 pulled for the same reason. We have also found out recently that she is spending no more that 30-45 min. a day with the boys. That is when she gets them up in the morning and takes them to school. The rest of the day she spends at home with the baby then goes off to work at a bar in another town 45 minutes away. She works there all night and then comes home late at night. We have found out from the boys that in the evenings when they are home with the step dad he does not let them out of their room or let them go outside to play. We have spoken to the step dad about the situation and he has informed us that he is divorcing her. He said she is never home, and does not take care of the kids. He has also told us that since before christmas the boys have not been at their house for a weekend. We also know that she signs all the child support checks over to her mother to pay the payment on her new truck. The past year the boys have been sick quite a few times and she has not taken them to the doctor saying she can't afford it when we carry insurance on both of them.

We are very frustrated and worried for the welfare of our boys. They have told us themselves they want to come live with us and they have told her too but she won't let them saying she needs the money.

Any suggestions?

Thanks in advance.

Toby

[ocean]

How is their school work and what do their teachers say about their clothes? If they are coming to school with the same clothes on, they can file a report.  Will she agree to increased time? Tell her you are willing to watch them after-school and get them to school a few mornings.(?) They are too young to talk to a judge or decide where they want to live. I would see if mom will let you have more time and keep CS the same for now and document all the time you do get (and talk to the kids teachers and see what info you can get) Good luck!

[cobb717]

Their school work has slipped a bit this past year. I'm not sure on what the teachers have said. I am leaving it to my husband to call the school and ask the questions since he's the father. I know for a fact she will not agree to anymore time than we already get with them. She knows we want them and is not going to do anything to make it easy on us. We are too far away (45 min. drive one way) and we both work full-time so we can't watch them before or after school. If anything we may have to wait 2 years till the oldest is 12 and then he can talk to the judge. But I'm afraid what will happen to them in that timespan. We are thinking about trying to "bribe" the mother. We know her reasoning behind not giving them up is the money and the possibility of having to pay us CS. We are thinking of telling her we don't want anything from her and that if she's willing for the next 3-4 months after we get them we will pay her half of the CS we were to help her "get back on her feet". I don't know if she'll take it,but it seems to be our best bet right now. I don't think with what we have right now a court would give us custody.

Thanks,

Toby