What to do ...failing grades and CP clueless (Long)

[stepmom23]

My DH's 2 sons live in Florida with the CP Mom.  Just this year, oldest son has entered middle school and grades are posted on EDLINE - an online tool for parents to keep track of grades, tests, assignments, etc.  Before EDLINE we were at the mercy of CP to give updates and details of schoolwork as she felt like it.

SS has always been an "A" and "B" student until this semester.  As of yesterday, he has an "A" in two classes, "D" in one class - one point from "F", and "F" in two classes.  

We've been tracking since before Christmas (when CP finally sent us the correct account info).  At Christmas break he had several assignments not completed that brought his grade down from "B" to "D".  While with us over Christmas break he was able to do those assignments and turn them in for a grade - "D" went up to a high "C".

DH has contacted several of SS teachers over the past month inquiring about the failing grades.  3 of the 5 teachers have told DH that SS does not feel it necessary to complete homework and classwork is whatever SS feels like answering - usually not  even relevant to subject.  They collectively say that SS is a kind, quiet child who just doesn't cause problems but doesn't seem to care anymore.  Latest incomplete work was recorded yesterday in 2 of the classes.

CP claims that everything is under control and SS is not failing any class.  That she goes on EDLINE everyday and sees what SS is doing.  She is perfectly happy with his grades and that DH needs to stop putting pressure on SS to keep his grades up.  Claims that DH is pushing son away by contacting teachers and making a big deal out of this.  Son has become distant over the past 2 weeks, since DH found out about the failing grades.

Counselor has talked to SS, at the request of DH.  CP was not happy about that.  CP claims that counselor asked SS where he wanted to live - with CP or DH, but counselor says she asked nothing of the nature.  

There are some issues about SS having mentioned wanting to come live with DH and myself, but fear of CP being sad and angry.  CP stated just this week that this would never happen, that she can guarantee SS doesn't want to live with DH.  He's perfectly happy with her.

What to do?

[cowgirl]

Where do you live?  
Believe me i know exactly how you feel & what you're going through.

I would also like to know the answer to this situation as your story fits my DH w/my sd to a Tee.  She's possibly failing the 9th grade for the yr & mother gives us excuse after excuse.  SD has been very distant since last July, like she wants nothing to do w/us anymore & just tonight CP tells DH that sd is just fine, why don't we just leave her & them alone.  (we have custody of ss (7th grade for over 2 yrs now, he's on honor roll).  Also that she'll (CP) will never sign over sd that we'll have to take her to court & we'll lose.  
We live in PA & court cases are heard in NY.  
What would are chances of getting custidy of sd on the grounds of failing school (mother doesn't have the education to help her), not involved in counseling(court ordered), CP interfering w/visitation & DH & Sd relationship (haven't seen her in over 9mos), also refusal to provide us baseball schedules claiming we won't go so what's the sence...

Pls any advise will be greatly appreciated...