Cheated,Hurt and Alienated

[MichaelToronto]

Hi there I just wanted to post my question to find out what I should be doing to go forward with a Visitation Denial that has been on-going for 5years. No Ph calls, no visit..no contact period.

I have dropped of Clothes, books, toys and other gifts each time not knowing if they still live at the last known address. My visits to the residence have been brief as I am not seeing my prince and am being told that I should go to court to enforce access (yes, this is the message of the mother and grandmother and brother). I got screwed in the courts the first time because the mom had spoke to all duty cousel so In the court room mine had to " walk out" as my son's mom explained to the judge that she had previously spoken to the lawyer representing me that day. I found out later  that the lawayer was one of a few! So there I was by myself in a very intimidating situation with the duty cousels last words being "Sorry, but this is a conflict of interests". ( I suspect she was coached for that move but this is just to show you howpartly why my faith in the courts has been lost).

I have tried to avoid further court involvement by reasoning with the mom via email to no avail. The visitation template you have was used by me and  a month later I received and email from the mom(the only point of contact I have), explaining that they will be on vaction so a visitation schedule is unrealistic. I should note that I had requested a ph# to call and speak with my son but this has been denied to me more than 10x's over the years. 2004 the courts had ordered temp full custody, access to the child on 48 hrs written notice and support payments defined.
I have proposed a solid vistation schedule using the guidlines of the templates you offer..(2weeks advance notice) only to be left hanging...
I have been consistently paying more than the courts have asked to catch up on arrears but not a minute of access has been given to me. That is the part that hurts me the most.


The latest contact I have had after a string of emails pleading my case and intentions now has me waiting to August 06 when the  mom says she wants to sit down to discuss her 'concerns'. I know she is going to blame me for whatever concerns she many have with a reintroduction to our son. So far mom has mentioned the emotional stability of our son is her fear. The words inconsistent and unsupportive is all I get hit with but yet I am denied access? Anyone that knows me can't seem to figure what a man does to unleash this treatment. I myself have stopped trying to figure out why...

My question is knowing the head games and alienation factors how do I prepare fo a August meeting to discusss the future of My son and I with the mom who is basically being a bully in the position of power?

[KidzNeedDadTo]

 This being your question>
My question is knowing the head games and alienation factors how do I prepare fo a August meeting to discusss the future of My son and I with the mom who is basically being a bully in the position of power?

 This being my answer>
 Why bother to prepare........Prepare for what? More heartache?...more loosing?....more wishing that don't come true?.....more sleepless nights?.......more attorny fees,,,,,,,wait a sec. I got it!    You should prepare for more  ALIENATION  !!

              Sorry no help here!!.............

[cinb85]

and I don't think that you have much to prepare.  Just be honest with mom and tell her how much you miss your son and how much you love him.  Hopefully, she will calm down and let you visit with him.  Fighting with her will probably (I'm just making an assumption) make it worse.  I know that there are many moms out there who alienate the children from their fathers and I guess there's not much you can do about it (unfortunately).  These Moms are truly hurting their children.

I have totally the opposite problem.  My ex has completely ignored our daughter for 15 years.  He promised me last year that he was going to make an effort to be in her life.  He's made VERY little effort.  He's called a few times and left a message for her to call him back.  I have made her call him back, but the call is very short.  I have written to him at least three times suggesting to him that he call our daughter at least once a week just to ask her how she is and what she's been doing.  I was hoping that these weekly calls would help to break the ice.  He has ignored all three of my letters and hasn't called at all.

I really feel bad for you and I hope that you and your ex can come to an agreement that will give you the relationship with your son that you want.

Good luck!!!