Ex responded to my petition

[Jeff2121]

I have petitioned my x for 50/50 custudy.  I have been keeping my kids most of the time for about 2 years now, and have been paying over 700.00 dollars a month child supprt.  Some of you my have seen my post back in the spring.  Anyways I started keeping track of the time the kids are with me and the time they are with there mom.  Nov. 28 2005 is when I started, here papers were served on her June the 28 2006.  That is 211 days of documintation.  My 13 year has spent (dad 132 day) (mom 62) and (Granny 17) my 15 year old (dad 120) (mom 60) (granny 31).  I have compiled a pie chart to show the %, She has denied that I have been keeping the kids for this amout of time in her answer.  She does not Know that I have this documintation.  Her answer to my petition said they wanted proof of.  Is this enough proof?  How will the judge see this.  I have been 100 % honest with my kids about this whole issue and have kept them up to speed of whats going on.  They are shocked about there mother denieing that they have been staying with me most of the time, they pretty much called her a lier.  I am getting worried this whole thing could back fire on me.  Has anybody seen simular sitsuation like this?

Jeff

[dancurry]

Good job keeping records. I hope it goes well.

In the court that I do work with here in California, the judge will perceive your action as an attempt to lower child support or harass the mother, depending on what side of the bed he woke up on.

Don't be alarmed, this is just my opinion.

Are you Pro Se or do you counsel?

Sometimes you can overcome the stupidity of the judge simply by having counsel when the other party does not.

The other problem is that here in California, the Courts tend to see the mother as the Primary Caretaker regardless of the amount of time you spend with the children. This effectively shields the mother from repercussions when she doesn't really want the children around that much.

In CA, you still must prove her somehow unfit before they will change custody.

However, you have the burden of change of circumstances, which you have already met.

I hope I'm wrong, Please let me know how it turns out.

DC

[Jeff2121]

I live in TN.  There have been alot of fathers in my area getting custody of there kids.  Also child support is based on both parties income hers is not being considered at this time.  Thanks for your response.........Jeff

[Kent]

Do you have an attorney?

It is up to how your attorney wants to handle this. If he wants to keep the proof under wraps, then you need to submit it to him (that makes it fall under attorney-client privilege).
If he feels you should share the proof, then share it.

If you share it, then you better make sure it is not just a note that the kids were with you, but actual proof (doctor's notes, dated pictures & videos, 3rd party witnesses).

However, at the age of the kids, it will mainly be their decision. The 15 y.o. can decide, and to not break up siblings, if the 13 y.o. wants to live with you too, you'll get them. All evidence is only of secundary importance. What the kids want, that will be the main question.

So what is it that the kids want?

Good luck!

Kent!

[Jeff2121]

The Kids say they want to keep things just like they are.  They love there Mom just as they love me.  I have explained to the to the kids I am not trying to change nothing, just want our divorce decree to support whats been going on and relieve in paying child support.  The kid have questioned there mother on what she does with it.  They tell me she just changes the subject when it is brought up.  I will say this she drives a BMW, lives in a new house on the golf course, her and her husband both have a new Harley.  I am sure that the monies that I give here does contributes to there matrial posseions.  I have no problem paying child support its just that I am the one supporting the kids, paying all the doctor bills, buying the cloths, food, and every thing else that goes along with raising to teenageres.  Then after all thats done I write her a check.

I have 3rd party witnesses,  I have taken each one of them to the doctor several times last year, but no vidieos.  I do have pic.  I do have a lawyer hired that specializies in these types of things.  My brother used her to get costudy of his daughter.  I just hope the judge sees things my way,

Jeff  

[marisalimbo]

Jeff, I hope you are not in California and I hope you are not in Riverside County.  My husband had the same problem.  Finally because the court system is so one sided, we gave up.  In CA, she has to be a drug addict and severely unfit.  I don't know what it is like in other states.  Keeping record is really good and it does help.  Have you arlready gone to a mediator and reasses the custody?  That might work and since your kids are old enough, they have the right to go to the mediator as well.  Good luck.

[marisalimbo]

It is so sad how one sided everything is. My husband pays over half of his income in child support and falls behind every month.  She now gets his tax returns as well.  She lives in a half a million dollar home in California with her new fiance.  She gets her paycheck, my husbands and her first husbands as well.  Just when we thought it was going to get lowered because the birth of our new son, they raised it because my husband sees his children less.  We had to move out of state because the cost of living in california was so high.  We moved to Texas and are able to see his children very minimal.  He begged his ex to use his tax return to pay for the tickets to see him during the summer, but she of course said no.  The courts in CA, think that the dad can pay for rent, food, gas and see his children at $1400.00 a month.  That is what he makes after the government, insurance and his ex take their share.  My husband has no problem paying child support either, just a fair amount where he at least is not falling behind.  I think your judge will be a lot more empathetic than the one's in Ca.  Since you show a good record of paying and seeing your children, you should be fine.

[Jeff2121]

Thanks for your responses.  I have not yet went to medation yet, however my lawyer said it is most likely we would be going.  My kids told me that there mom told them I shoudnt have got a lawyer involved that I should have just simply came to her and talk to about this.  I do not think she would have been in agreement if I had done so.  I am a little concered that my lawyer has not contacted me, I have talked to her secertary several times but there no news on what to next.  She has been keeping the kids more since the petition was served on her, my lawyer expected that to happen.  My lawyer did say most of these sistuation usally get resolved out of court.  Thanks for all your advise.............Jeff