This story will shock you....I believe it will....

[betrayed_husband]

My case is going to make history about divorce in this country (I hope so anyway).

For 10 years I was married to a very sweet woman, we have two children. I help her as my wife and best friend to get educated. But, once she got a master degree in engineering, this past February she got a job, after six months we were looking for work. Once she started to make money, after 55 days, she came asking for divorce, to let her go and confessed that she was in love with her immediate team lead coworker, that he was her spiritual master, her twin flame and that she had sex with him at the office. (Tell me about their ethics and decorum)

Shocking as it is, she didn't finished there. After her confession, I had to tell her that she should leave us (me and the kids) since she wanted to keep seeing that guy. She got vindictive and with his friends and supervisor at her work, she set me up in an entrapment, nine days after her confession, press charges for rape and assault (never happened, later the charges were dropped) got to make me arrested like a criminal (saying to police that I was armed, dangerous and crazy) and then, seeded false evidence about me being a terrorist in my house (I was interrogated by the Feds while incarcerated about conspiracy of terrorism). Not finished yet, she have alienated my children, telling them not to call me dad anymore9teh few occasions I saw them for few minutes) took possession of all my stuff (I was able to get off only with my clothes and the garage junk after came out of jail) and has been accusing me of stalking, harassing her and doesn't let me see the kids (since April 2006). Since she moved in August to an undisclosed location, with the help of her attorney, (and I suspect help from the police and the court) I don't know nothing about the kids, where they are how they are doing, what school they go, etc. they totally removed me from their lives.

Sadly, she became a harridan after been a wonderful person and loving wife, with the influence of her lover. A friend of mine called me to tell me that he saw them the last day of September with my kids attending a karate tournament, he was driving her SUV and I assume they are living together, still we have not get the divorce.

I just need to everybody know this injustice, I also need to know what are my rights now (besides getting an attorney, but I can't afford one yet)

Last October 12th she set me up with a 51b restraining order, lying that I hit her face with a booklet. I never touched her, it was my daughter who hit her face with a little booklet while they were in her SUV, and I was outside asking them to come inside a restaurant for supper. She got piss and looks at me and said: I'm going to tell them that you hit me! And the judge believes her lies! But he did not gave her temporary custody(what she was looking for to get), instead let my case for custody going to the other case and that is when I got assurance that I can see the kids in supervised visits. Since the judge gave me supervised visits since October, her attorney has not done anything to comply with the court order to see my children. One thing here, that day, both went to court expecting to make me upset and then get over with their entrapment plan. I ignore them, even when the guy incites me to argue with them. I kept my cool, but inside I felt the most humiliating feeling a man can get from people. You judge this!

This woman is crazy and she was ordered psychological evaluation and I have to go also( I don't mean doing it) She had use all the tricks of the book, fake statements of domestic violence, lie to police, lie in court, lie to the judge, to all our friends, lie to college professors about me and the reason of our separation, she had threaten me to kill me if I go after "them", if I defend myself and prove their conspiracy(she is a black belt in karate and Korean sword).

Since she makes big salary, she uses the money to pay this attorney and that woman dance for her...I'm still at college (living with loans and family support) and now she is asking me for child support. I can't afford the lawyer yet so I'm pro se in my case for custody, I was parent at home while she finished her masters (three years), I lost my career as IT professional, to help her finish higher education. Now she pays me with this infamy.

I just want to see my kids and hopefully seek that justice will be served and get this sweet talker who destroyed her consciousness and our relationship to be accountable for what he has done to our kids and both of us.

I ask for you to be the judge or the jury!

PD: I went to talk to the assistant DA and she said that while in NC adultery is a misdemeanor by the State statutes, they are not prosecuting it anymore...so there you go...Law is relative to choice and statutes are choose to be prosecuted at their wish not by the Spirit of the Law but by convenience of the enforcers. Justice is dying!

[FatherTime]

Ok...after reading about your situation, I can give you a little advice to keep your sanity.  

First and foremost...

Think of the kids. What is in their best interests?  You are.  
You will have to learn that bad mouthing a parent is not good for them, so you will learn to focus on the children and not the other parent, when speaking with the children.  The kids will learn on their own and in their own ways.  Children understand more than most people think that they do.

Second...

Don't visualize yourself as the good guy, bad guy, or as a victim.  Visualize your goal. Forget justice, it's pronounced (just us). Time is of utmost importance.  Get a court order to see the children, and have it enforced.  If your judge won't enforce it, then let us know the name of said judge.  We can focus some attention his/her way to show gender bias, if you do not get some parenting time soon. Parenting time is in the best interests of your children (see#1)so that should be your goal. North Carolina, what county?  

Third...

I think that a civil lawsuit is in order for her. 1 year is the statute of limitations, hurry?  False charges, defamation of character, and whatever else another attorney deems appropriate, a civil lawsuit would allow an attorney to make 1/3 of any settlement.  Monetary and not criminal in nature, they only prosecute and jail men.  Attorneys love money, they'll even lie for it. (just my opinion and experience speaking)


Fourth...

Do not forget the fact that you were the primary caretaker of the children for a significant portion of their recent life, until the mother made up her various charges.  You should focus some of your attention to bringing to the attention of the judge or commissioner that the spouse may have made up these charges in order to gain custody of the children for six months and become the primary caretaker.  

Fifth...

When you get visitions NEVER GO ALONE!

Keep a journal of all pickups and dropoffs, write down who, what, where and the names of your witnesses.  Use the time tracker from this site to help you track your time with the children if needed.  (optimal)

Don't fear her threats against your life, record them. I'm not sure if it's legal...but a recording could save your life.

If her attorney isn't playing fair and you can't afford an attorney, then a guardian ad litem may even the playing field a bit.  But a G.A.L. is a double edged sword at times.  But it may be appropriate in your case.  A G.A.L is an attorney for your children and you will have to split the costs of their atttorney.  One of your children can testify that she hit her mother and not you....proof?

Good Luck and Good Fortune,

FatherTime

[betrayed_husband]

FatherTime,

I thank you for your advice, I will get this information drilled on my head, and is true, I just barely keeping my sanity. I will let you know the county by other means if necessary. I will give you the judge name also. I am waiting for one more week so I can submit a Motion to Show Cause since her lawyer is not following the judge order.

Thank you again for your help!:)

[gipsy]

believe it or not your case is extreme , But not extremely unusual ,
   Also on this site there is a section on Psych evals read it and follow it , Don't forget it !
    Also make sure you get a good atty , Ask if they repesent men < And if they believe in your rights ,
   And What percent of men they represent ,
   Keep looking till you get an atty that seems to favor representing men , And ask around if any one knows of an atty that has a reputation of represnting men ,
   After fireing two atty's I got one that answers positive to all these questions ,
   Don't take any slack . Just pummel them with the questions ,
    If you go to tell each atty the big story don't be surprised if they yawn , And don't be surprised if the judges yawn a bit ,
     This is day in day out crapoola at the court , I will not bore you but to endorse my story I went through this list
    1, Two Guardian ad Litems
    2, 3 attys
    3, Four years of this crap
    4 , Allegations that i was  [A] Violent [B ] Stalker [C]Pedophile
          [E] Trying to get more time with my son so I would pay less support (F]  Talking bad to my son about the mother
    5  Psych evals
    6, Poly graph testing
    7 Lots of money
        So Here's My two cents . Atty selection is every thing
   , Don't let this make you react " IF" You react she will use it against you
     Get on with your life , Deny the allegations
    Be a good parent ,
  Learn the process in your area ,
   The process goes like this here ,
    For temp orders you go to a commissioner first [Not] A Judge ,
   The court does not know who to believe And by the report you write that the judge did not give her full custody I would say they don't fully believe her
   So Here they rely on a Guardian Ad litem report , What you do is find out if this is the process they use , If so , You will need this report so the judge can be  informed By the Guardian Ad Litem  Appointed on Behalf of minor children , The reason they appoint a GAl , Is because the court and all the jesters know that Atty's represent the paying clients interest , The court here goes by the " Best Interest of Minor Children "
    So the GAl Will talk to witnesses you provide And ones she provides ,
   You want to Have a Atty that deals in These cases so you don;t get a bad GAL , Here you have a choice of three , You cross one off and she crosses one off ,
    Then the remain GAL Will go to respective houses , And find that she lives with the boy friend , Etc . And where you live .
   You need to have a room beds toys set up , And  The hardest thing to do is talk about your affection for the children , And desire to be a father to them , My Atty said it is way better that I make my self to be a good parent then to try to make her look Bad ,
   Make a blunt Denial of her allegations ,
    The GAL's hear this stuff all day . So I would give Read the GAL your statement you have printed , Don't give the GAL any thing in writing with out legal advice , Don't go into this to fight the court the judges and the system , It's to big a fight , Go into this to get the kids or get Visits in the form of a court order .
   Have some faith My Guardian report said " there is no proof to her allegations " And  " Mother Goes On and on about the dad "
    The recomendation , Was for me to have regular visits with my son "
       Your ex has commenced war , Don't get sucked in . Be a good parent .
       The only thing That got reported against me was my reaction to this type of slander , DON'T React !!  At trial the judge saw right through all of this . After her and her crap head atty asked for atty fee's  the Judges comments were "" I see Mr williams end of this as a reaction " And If this comes back to me then  We will see who gets atty fee's "
     The atty I got recommended I file for Custody , And I did . The reason was To scare the crap out of her  ' It Did "
   The thing about fileing for custody id , You are going to the judge saying you are the best parent ' And when it settles If you are not asking for custody And she really screws up Then Why would they give custody when you didn't want it "
   The process here is very basic . I will repeat ,
    File a Motion to Appoint A Guardian Ad Litem On Behalf of Minor children "
      The Court can't really make a decision with out it Cause the Judge doesn't go to your house and her house , And Talk to witnesses
   The GAL does and then Makes a recomendation to the court , Here In A custody Case the judge won't much for Any thing Including visitation , Untill they Have a report from the GAl , My Atty explains ,
    " The Judge Doesn't want King 5 News at the court doing a story on the judge that ordered theKids to go to the Axe murderers House "
   So they Defer their decision to the Guardian ad Litem . Interchangeably know as A Parenting Investigator ,
     So Thats the next question I would be asking the Atty's you interview . Is the process here to Appoint a Parenting Investigator / GAl
    And if they do that , And what the judge needs to make a decision ,
   The atty should be able to tell you all this ,
    Don't get an atty that talks a big story , Thats an atty that want;s to suck the cash right out of you , Get one that tells you the basic process ,
   Your story will be likely to Bore most atty as a Regular occurance ,
  And attys Don't know what to believe either ,
   Also Ask the Atty While you look right into the eye's . How Are you at cross examination On these type of Allegations , And Can you go see the atty at a trial .
   The atty should be able to sound as if they are reasonable confident about their Cross examination skills . Ask them to explain a bit about xcross examination in these type of allegations ,
   Of course the atty CAN'T come out gangbusters iether Cause they can't really predict whats going to happen ,
      My Atty Said about cross examination , " It's My Job to get the judge to Question her story " Once the Judge starts haveing some questions About her story its pretty much over for her . "
   I've been through it , The best thing you can do is realise the court hears this regularly , And it already seems the judge just didn't accept her story . cuase the judge deferred to the next hearing , In the time between you need to have a report from GAl Or Parenting investigator , that say's you are a good parent .
   Right now it seems she is winning by treachery , THats Only because the court has to protect the child "IF" the allegations are tue . As soon as the court has a report that doesn't validate her allegations You will get your visits , If there is a signed court order . You Show up with a friend as a witness to get the kids , If the kids arent there go file contempt . You wont be likely to get her on contempt , I won't explain the whole process , ButMy atty advises fileing every time :
       

[gipsy]

believe it or not your case is extreme , But not extremely unusual ,
   Also on this site there is a section on Psych evals read it and follow it , Don't forget it !
    Also make sure you get a good atty , Ask if they repesent men < And if they believe in your rights ,
   And What percent of men they represent ,
   Keep looking till you get an atty that seems to favor representing men , And ask around if any one knows of an atty that has a reputation of represnting men ,
   After fireing two atty's I got one that answers positive to all these questions ,
   Don't take any slack . Just pummel them with the questions ,
    If you go to tell each atty the big story don't be surprised if they yawn , And don't be surprised if the judges yawn a bit ,
     This is day in day out crapoola at the court , I will not bore you but to endorse my story I went through this list
    1, Two Guardian ad Litems
    2, 3 attys
    3, Four years of this crap
    4 , Allegations that i was  [A] Violent [B ] Stalker [C]Pedophile
          [E] Trying to get more time with my son so I would pay less support (F]  Talking bad to my son about the mother
    5  Psych evals
    6, Poly graph testing
    7 Lots of money
        So Here's My two cents . Atty selection is every thing
   , Don't let this make you react " IF" You react she will use it against you
     Get on with your life , Deny the allegations
    Be a good parent ,
  Learn the process in your area ,
   The process goes like this here ,
    For temp orders you go to a commissioner first [Not] A Judge ,
   The court does not know who to believe And by the report you write that the judge did not give her full custody I would say they don't fully believe her
   So Here they rely on a Guardian Ad litem report , What you do is find out if this is the process they use , If so , You will need this report so the judge can be  informed By the Guardian Ad Litem  Appointed on Behalf of minor children , The reason they appoint a GAl , Is because the court and all the jesters know that Atty's represent the paying clients interest , The court here goes by the " Best Interest of Minor Children "
    So the GAl Will talk to witnesses you provide And ones she provides ,
   You want to Have a Atty that deals in These cases so you don;t get a bad GAL , Here you have a choice of three , You cross one off and she crosses one off ,
    Then the remain GAL Will go to respective houses , And find that she lives with the boy friend , Etc . And where you live .
   You need to have a room beds toys set up , And  The hardest thing to do is talk about your affection for the children , And desire to be a father to them , My Atty said it is way better that I make my self to be a good parent then to try to make her look Bad ,
   Make a blunt Denial of her allegations ,
    The GAL's hear this stuff all day . So I would  Read the GAL your statement you have printed , Don't give the GAL any thing in writing with out legal advice , Don't go into this to fight the court the judges and the system , It's to big a fight , Go into this to get the kids or get Visits in the form of a court order .
   Have some faith My Guardian report said " there is no proof to her allegations " And  " Mother Goes On and on about the dad "
    The recomendation , Was for me to have regular visits with my son "
       Your ex has commenced war , Don't get sucked in . Be a good parent .
       The only thing That got reported against me was my reaction to this type of slander , DON'T React !!  At trial the judge saw right through all of this . After her and her crap head atty asked for atty fee's  the Judges comments were "" I see Mr williams end of this as a reaction " And If this comes back to me then  We will see who gets atty fee's "
     The atty I got recommended I file for Custody , And I did . The reason was To scare the crap out of her  ' It Did "
   The thing about fileing for custody is , You are going to the judge saying you are the best parent ' And when it settles If you are not asking for custody And she really screws up .Then Why would they give custody when you didn't want it "
   The process here is very basic . I will repeat ,
    File a Motion to Appoint A Guardian Ad Litem On Behalf of Minor children "
      The Court can't really make a decision with out it Cause the Judge doesn't go to your house and her house , And Talk to witnesses
   The GAL does and then Makes a recomendation to the court , Here In A custody Case the judge won't do much for Any thing Including visitation , Untill they Have a report from the GAl , My Atty explains ,
    " The Judge Doesn't want King 5 News at the court doing a story on the judge that ordered theKids to go to the Axe murderers House "
   So they Defer their decision to the Guardian ad Litem . Interchangeably know as A Parenting Investigator ,
     So Thats the next question I would be asking the Atty's you interview . Is the process here to Appoint a Parenting Investigator / GAl
    And if they do that , And what the judge needs to make a decision ,
   The atty should be able to tell you all this ,
    Don't get an atty that talks a big story , Thats an atty that want;s to suck the cash right out of you , Get one that tells you the basic process ,
   Your story will be likely to Bore most atty as a Regular occurance ,
  And attys Don't know what to believe either ,
   Also Ask the Atty While you look right into the eye's . How Are you at cross examination On these type of Allegations , And Can you go see the atty at a trial .
   The atty should be able to sound as if they are reasonable confident about their Cross examination skills . Ask them to explain a bit about xcross examination in these type of allegations ,
   Of course the atty CAN'T come out gangbusters iether Cause they can't really predict whats going to happen ,
      My Atty Said about cross examination , " It's My Job to get the judge to Question her story " Once the Judge starts haveing some questions About her story its pretty much over for her . "
   I've been through it , The best thing you can do is realise the court hears this regularly , And it already seems the judge just didn't accept her story . cuase the judge deferred to the next hearing , In the time between, you need to have a report from GAl Or Parenting investigator , that say's you are a good parent .
   Right now it seems she is winning by treachery , THats Only because the court has to protect the child "IF" the allegations are true . As soon as the court has a report that doesn't validate her allegations You will get your visits , If there is a signed court order . You Show up with a friend as a witness to get the kids , If the kids aren't there go file contempt . You wont be likely to get her on contempt , I won't explain the whole process , But My atty advises fileing every time :
       

[betrayed_husband]

Thanks for your feedback!

Everything you said here brings opportunities not available before. I must concour in your first assesment, it is "extreme" to the point that I believe why she is doing what she is doing. she is under "the influence" of a "psycho SOB" who went to court with her to show all people in the court building how "idiots" are both, when I have already given in my witten motions to the judge the factual information about their adultery, the phone calls, meetings, recorded her statements about she loving him, describing her confession, the fact that he is intellectually capable of coming up with the "bomb info" and all that crap. I'm just waiting to the judge to hear the results of the evaluations. In the interim, her atty is hanging up my calls (three times this week), so next Monday I  will fill the motion for Cause with a strong period lasted from the last hearing, Nov 14, where the judge ordered and clarified to all, to me and the two harridans (they act alike) that I can visit with the kids providing a person that will supervise the visits. Three days after the hearing I gave her Atty the name of a couple, who have children same ages as mine. I have waited since last week (before Thanksgiving) and she has not move to allow visits. Anyways, I am making a "great effort" to not "react" as you suggest, I surely look to "respond" to the events enfolding.

Thanks for your support!

God Bless!!!

[FatherTime]

Pause, breathe, relax.  












you stated: 'she is under "the influence" '

leave him out of it...focus on your children.  They appear to be trying to spirit you up.  It may hurt to see the two of them together, but get over it. (just a suggestion and perception, I may be wrong)  She is doing what she is doing.  (makes sense) He doesn't have her under a spell.  


As for the attorney:  He appears to be trying to entice you into an argument.  He wants to have you upset, angry, at a loss when it comes time for court. He wants you to "lose control"  and he'll even be that blunt in front of a judge or commissioner whether you do behave badly or not, so , thorough thought patterns, maintain your direction, and focus on the important things.  Don't sweat the small stuff.  Let him know that your conversation is recorded and then see if he hangs up. He is an officer of the court and you are not, that fact puts you at a distinct disadvantage.  The court will have a tendency to believe him and his half truths.  So be careful.  (note* I am not an attorney. *)

other small suggestions:  There is a word in your message which I won't type.  It is a keyword for law enforcement and probably not a word to use too often.  It comes right before info" and all that crap.

and try paragraph breaks it makes it easier for others to read and follow your information and questions. Just my thoughts and opinions.

God Bless!!!