Is this realistic?

[Sherry1]

and he had to give attorney an additional $1000 to complete the child custody/child support/visitation court and everything.  My son got $500 back so the total cost was $2500.  Yes, that is a reasonable amount for a retainer.

[mistoffolees]

Wow! Yours was cheap. Everyone must have wanted it to go smoothly. All it takes is one party to mess things up and drive costs through the roof.

[KKJ995]

Well he is in the state of Minnesota...don't know if that makes a difference or not.
I honestly don't know what to expect as she keeps going back and forth with what he can do and what he can't do and when he can see the kids and she pulls back at the last minute and tells him he can't have the girls.  This lawyer he saw yesterday said that she highly doubts that he would be able to get full custody of the his own kids because she has custody of her oldest one.  She told the court that that BF/father was abusive to her and the child and that he was a drunk and she is trying the same thing with my step son.  Sure he is 22 and likes to have a beer with friends, but she drinks to get drunk!  
He was recently served papers for child support and visitation.  I can see the child support but when she jerks him and kids around when it comes to visitation why even bother going through the courts.  The girl can't make up her mind what she wants to do.  I personally feel that she does not want any kids, she puts on a good show.  
While they were living together and she was not working due to bedrest, he had given her money to pay the bills now he and all of us want to know where the money went because the collectors are on him to get paid.  Can that be used against her, can that be brought up?  He gave her cash so no way to really trace it.

[Bolivar]

$3,000 is the start – the finial bill can run much, much higher (60,000 or more if you have it.)


One attorney I trust in Minnesota is Maury Beaulier (don't ask me how to pronounce his last name LOL):

Minnesota Divorce visit   [A HREF=http://www.divorceprofessionals.com]

Divorce Answers visit [A HREF=http://www.divorceinstitute.com]

[Sunshine1]

I am in MN, and have had our share of attorneys over the years in several different counties.  I could recommend one possibly. ...or point you in a direction.
 
What county are you in?  PM me if you would rather.

[Sherry1]

and being a jerk.  The judge saw right through it and ordered that my son has visitation every Saturday and every other weekend.  BM's attorney said that BM didn't want overnights, the judge asked why, and the attorney really couldn't give a good reason.  The judge said fine, but ordered them to mediation to work out the visitation.  In mediation, BM just bawled the entire time (only BM and son was allowed, no lawyers, parents or anyone else).  After mediation, my son got what he wanted every Saturday and every other weekend with overnights.  This all happened when my grandson was 3.

The ironic part?  My grandson is now almost 8 years old.  My son ended up moving back in with BM a year ago.  

[Ref]

a $2,500 retainer for a new parenting plan and He paid about $5,000 with the initial retainer of $3,000 for a decrease in support and to counter some contempts and a downward mod of visitation that BM filed against him.

Make sure your son is not paying anything to the BM. You said he helps pay for some of the costs. DO NOT let him do that. Have him put money in a savings account just for back child support. He will most likely be treated as though he didn't pay anything this whole time and be forced to pay back support and the payments he has made will be considered "gifts".

As far as how BM spends the "gifts" that he sent her, the court won't care. They don't care how legit Child support payments are spent.

Good Luck
ref

[KKJ995]

He has not given her any money since they were living together.  That is what I was referring to, wondering about the debt and if it is brought up will the court ask her to share the burden...unfortunately it sounds like everything was in his name.  
Other than checking his credit is there another way for him to find out if she has other debts in his name?  He said he has no idea what else she has out there and he is basically waiting to be contacted by the creditors.

[sunnyin_fl]

Why don't you have him contact the credit agencies and put his file on "alert", that isn't the right term, but they will know what it means.  Puts the file on alert that there may be users not allowed and will notify him of any changes before things get out of hand.

Good Luck.

[Mamacass]

What your son needs to do is get a credit report from 1 or even all 3 of the credit bureaus.  this is free for him to do once a year.  He also needs to ask that the credit bureaus place what's called a fraud alert on his credit file.  (I believe he only has to request this through one of the bureaus and then they will notify the other 2.) This way when anyone (including him) applies for credit with his information, he will be notified before his information is released.  Usually credit card companies will ask for extra verification when they see you have a fraud alert.  

Once he gets his report, he needs to call any company that has an account that he believes she opened fraudulently.  More than likely, if they were living together when the account was opened, he will still be held responsible for the account.  This is because it is considered "friendly fraud" or a domestic situation and the credit card comapnies won't get involved.  Even if the courts split up their assets and debts, and they order her to pay, if your son's name is on the account, the company will still hold him responsible.  A way around this is to get the BM to sign a letter of responsibilty accepting full responsiblilty for the accounts (check with the credit card company to make sure that they offer this, most do.)  

Tell your son to get moving on this NOW.  The longer he waits, the more debt she will be able to rack up, and he could end up paying for it in the long run.  Also, customer service reps are easier to deal with than collection reps, so it'll make it easier on him if he calls the company before it gets to collections.  

Good luck!