About Alec and because I care

[Sterling]

I posted this on another site, but thought I should share it with you here.  Please read it.  

All About Alec - all the time

Amazingly little of what has been written about Alec Baldwin's angry phone message to his daughter has mentioned the inherent narcissism. One only has to go to YouTube and listen to his 2 minute and 15 second rant to have the message that it's ALL ABOUT ALEC - all the time, come through loud and clear.

In the first minute alone he makes 15 references to himself. That's an average of one self-reference every 4 seconds. The second minute was worse with 20 references to himself, an average of one every 3 seconds. The last 15 seconds contained 'only' 2 references to himself, but it also contained the ugly personal attack on his daughter.

This is narcissism writ large. The numbers above, while instructive, don't really tell the story. So the following is provided for the rest of the story.

01 .....I want to tell ...
02 .....I want to leave a message ...
03/04 ..I've made an ass of myself ...
05 .....the time comes for me
06/07 ..I stop whatever I'm doing
08/09 ..I go and I make ...
10 .....I want you to know ...
11 .....I'm tired of playing ...
12 .....I'm leaving this message ...
13 .....have insulted me ...
14 .....have insulted me ... (repeat)
15 .....I don't give a damn

1 minute/60 seconds

16 .....as far as I am concerned
17 .....have humiliated me ...
18 .....When I come out there
19 .....I'm going to fly ...
20 .....I'm going to let ...
21 .....disappointed in you I am
22 .....how angry I am
23 .....done this to me again
24 .....made me feel like ...
25 .....made me feel like a fool
26 .....crap you pull one me ...
27 .....do it to me constantly
28 .....I'm going to get on ...
29 .....I'm going to come out ...
30 .....I'm going to straighten ...
31 .....when I see you
32 .....Do you understand me?
33 .....I'm going to really ...
34 .....then I'm going to get
35 .....I'm going to come ...

2 minutes/120 seconds

36 .....ready to meet with me
37 .....how I feel ...

2 minutes 15 seconds/135 seconds

Between 9 and 10 he blames his daughter. Between 14 and 15 he blames her again and personally attacks her. Between 26 and 27 he blames her again. After 37 he has the extended personal attack on her that everyone is now familiar with. But the real message is that Alec Baldwin has the ego of an infant who can only think in terms of me! Me! ME! ME!!

I do not know Mr. Baldwin or Ms. Basinger or their daughter, but I know a number of couples who have been through a divorce as probably the entire adult population of the United States do. It was never the fault of the children.

That being said, I don't know anyone who exhibits Alex Baldwin's incredible level of self absorption, deep narcissism, and focus on personal feelings to the complete exclusion of others.

The most amazing thing about all of this is how all the commentary has been focused on Mr. Baldwin's ugly words to his daughter near the end of his self absorbed rant and virtually ignored the deep seated narcissism exhibited throughout.

Thirty-seven references to himself in 135 seconds – an average of one reference to himself every 3.7 seconds.

9 of the 37 references refer directly to his feelings or how he believes he has been personally attacked.
- insulted me
- insulted me
- humiliated me
- how angry I am
- made me feel
- made me feel
- pull on me
- do it to meet
- how I feel

It was all about Alec all the time.

How and why did all the public commentators miss this? Is this level of vanity and/or self-absorption so rampant in our culture it is no longer noticed? Maybe the personal attack at the end was so vile the obvious was overlooked and missed.

My common sense and observation tells me this focus on self borders on the dangerous. This person and those like him are to be avoided.

Now (addendum) Alec Baldwin assumes he will become a speaker about the problem of "parental alienation" - a problem that clearly exists. Just as all adults know someone who has been divorced, most also know someone who has suffered parental alienation due to the actions of a former spouse.

Those that I have met and talked with (and prayed with) suffered greatly due to this alienation. However, to a person, they were all more concerned about their child or children instead of themselves. This is not the case here.

Alex Baldwin is not the right person to become the spokesman about the problem of parential alienation because for him it is always about alec all the time.

[Jade]

>I posted this on another site, but thought I should share it
>with you here.  Please read it.  
>
>All About Alec - all the time
>
>Amazingly little of what has been written about Alec Baldwin's
>angry phone message to his daughter has mentioned the inherent
>narcissism. One only has to go to YouTube and listen to his 2
>minute and 15 second rant to have the message that it's ALL
>ABOUT ALEC - all the time, come through loud and clear.
>
>In the first minute alone he makes 15 references to himself.
>That's an average of one self-reference every 4 seconds. The
>second minute was worse with 20 references to himself, an
>average of one every 3 seconds. The last 15 seconds contained
>'only' 2 references to himself, but it also contained the ugly
>personal attack on his daughter.
>
>This is narcissism writ large. The numbers above, while
>instructive, don't really tell the story. So the following is
>provided for the rest of the story.
>
>01 .....I want to tell ...
>02 .....I want to leave a message ...
>03/04 ..I've made an ass of myself ...
>05 .....the time comes for me
>06/07 ..I stop whatever I'm doing
>08/09 ..I go and I make ...
>10 .....I want you to know ...
>11 .....I'm tired of playing ...
>12 .....I'm leaving this message ...
>13 .....have insulted me ...
>14 .....have insulted me ... (repeat)
>15 .....I don't give a damn
>
>1 minute/60 seconds
>
>16 .....as far as I am concerned
>17 .....have humiliated me ...
>18 .....When I come out there
>19 .....I'm going to fly ...
>20 .....I'm going to let ...
>21 .....disappointed in you I am
>22 .....how angry I am
>23 .....done this to me again
>24 .....made me feel like ...
>25 .....made me feel like a fool
>26 .....crap you pull one me ...
>27 .....do it to me constantly
>28 .....I'm going to get on ...
>29 .....I'm going to come out ...
>30 .....I'm going to straighten ...
>31 .....when I see you
>32 .....Do you understand me?
>33 .....I'm going to really ...
>34 .....then I'm going to get
>35 .....I'm going to come ...
>
>2 minutes/120 seconds
>
>36 .....ready to meet with me
>37 .....how I feel ...
>
>2 minutes 15 seconds/135 seconds
>
>Between 9 and 10 he blames his daughter. Between 14 and 15 he
>blames her again and personally attacks her. Between 26 and 27
>he blames her again. After 37 he has the extended personal
>attack on her that everyone is now familiar with. But the real
>message is that Alec Baldwin has the ego of an infant who can
>only think in terms of me! Me! ME! ME!!
>
>I do not know Mr. Baldwin or Ms. Basinger or their daughter,
>but I know a number of couples who have been through a divorce
>as probably the entire adult population of the United States
>do. It was never the fault of the children.
>
>That being said, I don't know anyone who exhibits Alex
>Baldwin's incredible level of self absorption, deep
>narcissism, and focus on personal feelings to the complete
>exclusion of others.
>
>The most amazing thing about all of this is how all the
>commentary has been focused on Mr. Baldwin's ugly words to his
>daughter near the end of his self absorbed rant and virtually
>ignored the deep seated narcissism exhibited throughout.
>
>Thirty-seven references to himself in 135 seconds – an average
>of one reference to himself every 3.7 seconds.
>
>9 of the 37 references refer directly to his feelings or how
>he believes he has been personally attacked.
>- insulted me
>- insulted me
>- humiliated me
>- how angry I am
>- made me feel
>- made me feel
>- pull on me
>- do it to meet
>- how I feel
>
>It was all about Alec all the time.
>
>How and why did all the public commentators miss this? Is this
>level of vanity and/or self-absorption so rampant in our
>culture it is no longer noticed? Maybe the personal attack at
>the end was so vile the obvious was overlooked and missed.
>
>My common sense and observation tells me this focus on self
>borders on the dangerous. This person and those like him are
>to be avoided.
>
>Now (addendum) Alec Baldwin assumes he will become a speaker
>about the problem of "parental alienation" - a problem that
>clearly exists. Just as all adults know someone who has been
>divorced, most also know someone who has suffered parental
>alienation due to the actions of a former spouse.
>
>Those that I have met and talked with (and prayed with)
>suffered greatly due to this alienation. However, to a person,
>they were all more concerned about their child or children
>instead of themselves. This is not the case here.
>
>Alex Baldwin is not the right person to become the spokesman
>about the problem of parential alienation because for him it
>is always about alec all the time.

While I certainly don't agree with Alec Baldwin's verbal abuse of his child, in all of the communication classes and books I took, it does recommend using "I" statements.

But you are right, Alec Baldwin is not a good candidate to speak out about PAS.  There was absolutely no excuse whatsoever for him to verbally abuse his child in the way that he did.  He is a hothead and will not help at all.  I know that if he were to start speaking out about it, I wouldn't believe a word he said.  

[hagatha]

Are You Kidding Me!!!!!!!

Do you really have any idea what it's like to be alienated from your child???

Do you know what it's like to ONLY have 1 phone call a week in which to have ANY interaction with your child??? And not get an answer??

Do you know what it's like to not be able to contact your child At All???

You sat a dissected his message to his daughter, and only focused on how many times he said "I". Surely there must have been better ways to utilize your time.

What would you rather he said, after having made attempt after attempt to contact this child??

Do you know anything of what lead up to this message??

Did you know the child's mother will not permit the child to have a relationship with her own mother because the grandmother still speaks with Alex??

Do you understand the difference between PA and PAS???

I do understand the effect of PA and PAS on a father and his family. I lived it. I understand about getting frustrated and angry. I understand about saying things to the wrong person. I sat and listened to the ranting when SD was not accepting calls. I was the one to comfort and console. I watched my H struggle to parent a child that was told he didn't have the right to parent.

if you are basing your opinion of Alex's ability to speak about the effect of PA & PAS on a non-costodial parent, or his ability to speak out about the treatment of fathers in the family court syatem on a 2 minute phone call you are sadly mistaken.




The Witch



Remember . . . KARMA is a Wonderful Thing!!!!!

[FatherTime]

My daughter who is 10,11, or 12 years old, I forget (jj),  counted the number of swear words, 8, and the number of times that he personally insulted his daughter, 9 times.  Once is too much.  

I believe that he would be a good candidate for getting the message to the ignorant public.  He needs anger management classes, however.  But he is definitely aware of his mistake.  He is truly a father who loves and greatly desires to be a part of his daughter's life.  He expressed his concern and love in the wrong manner, but it still shows how much he wishes to be with her, especially on the 20th.

His anger was directed at his daughter, but is indirectly directed to Kim Bassinger. He may have been angry with Kim and unable to deal with that anger. (PAS)  It had to be Kim who made the matter worse by publicizing the phone message.  The court had already addressed the issue.  It was released with intent to harm Alec, when indeed it also harmed Ireland.  It may have harmed her more than Alec.  Now Ireland has to go to school and live with all of the jokes and gossip.  Kim was a true B*tch.  Both parents, KIM INCLUDED, need to work together for the Best Interests of Ireland.  Kim is being intransigent and malicious.

My subject line is unbelievable. I am referring to the TMZ site, where the audio and other video is available in regards to the matter. On the site they have a question/vote asking if Alec should lose his parental rights over this (there is a court date on the 4th of May).  60% say he SHOULD lose his parental rights, while the other 40% are right.  He needs anger management and maybe a few supervised visits.  But to take away a child over this is callous, stupid, and downright evil.  What would happen if next week we hear how Kim did the same thing that Alec did, she yelled at her daughter for not returning a phone call and used insults and swearwords to try and get her point across to her daughter.  Do we make an orphan of Ireland?  The public is made up of 60% dumba$$es.

Both parents are actors, and are prone to narcissism.  Trust me I have met a few and they can be a little bit self important, beyond the norm.

I welcome and applaud Alec for wanting to discuss the parenting faults in our court system, especially in California courts.  I hope he finds his way Here.

FatherTime

[superdad01]

Ya know you have made some points to look at.  But I feel it is wrong to define the integrity of anyone's character after a 3 minute voice mail.

there are most likely truths to both sides of the story.

[wysiwyg]

hmmmmmm somewhere I read on cnn or msn that Alec has filed 12 charges of contempt against Kim ----------so just looking at things on the surface, if 12 times he was denied something regarding his child, I think I would be a bit frustrated myself, he just vented and someone is reaping the beneifit of leaking that private phone message left on a voince mail message to his daughter to the public.  I really wonder how someone had access to the VM either in the home or had the password to VM on the childs cell phone to let it leak out???  JDLR = just don't look right.

[mistoffolees]

No, it doesn't look right, but if Alec had really filed contempt against Kim 12 times, why didn't he go public with that instead of attacking? If he had done so, then he'd be a good spokesperson for parental alienation.

[dipper]

I agree with Jade...that is what I was taught as well - to use I statements...though I think Mr. Baldwin was so emotional that he forgot the purpose of that....to lessen defensiveness....

I am not a fan of his....but I do hope it brings about a massive awareness of PAS.  

who the heck has time to sit around counting and detailing like this?

[dipper]

I wouldnt think he did the phone message to have it publicly aired to advance PAS awareness.  He didnt go public with the contempt charges because its in the best interest of the child NOT to bash the other parent.  

Leaking the phone message was an attempt to ruin the dad and ensure a win....without any thought to what the child would face.  Had he came out with the contempts publicly his daughter would have had her life played out in the news..and everyone talking about her parents...which is what the release of the tape has done...

He didnt ask to have this played out in public, he is forced to do so...

[MixedBag]

there was contempt filed by Alec because the child was not available to receive calls NOR (and I assume this based on his frustration and anger), did the child call him back after he left messages.

And how is it that the court system moved so swiftly when there are many parents out there who suffer the SAME?