PAS is real.

[FatherTime]

Just another case of it here.

FatherTime;(

[Kitty C.]

Care to share?  We've got broad shoulders...........:-)

[FatherTime]

I'm ok.

I have already accepted it.  The bright side...

Now I don't have to worry about speaking out and how it will affect my relationship with my daughter.  I can in effect speak my mind.  I will.

I appreciate your concern.

FatherTime

[dipper]

Fathertime,  Sorry to hear this.  Crazy how people are willing to put anger into their own children just to hurt their ex.  I worry about my brother, he is newly divorced and it appears his wife and other family members are intent on treating him like he doesnt know how to be a parent.  I am afraid they are going to make the child disrespectful of him by this attitude.

Sometimes the PAS doesnt work...my ss is living with us and his mother has practically abandoned him after years of putting his father down in front of him....

I pray your child will one day be rid of the anger (which is what PAS does) her mother has put in her heart.  I am glad you looked for the silver lining - relief, freedom to speak your mind...

Best wishes...

[notnew]

My wife and I finally gave up on my daughter about 1 year ago. I still worry about her every day but, my life is not in a constant upheaval due to BM's PAS.

It was very hard for me to come to the decision to just let go. Plainly, holding on was doing no good for anyone involved. My continued attempts to stay involved in our child's life only drove BM to greater acts of PAS. Sadly, the court has supported her actions and failed to see things for what they really are.

I did get a custody evaluation report last year that recommended she come to live with me. Even though the judge ignored it (and it was a court appointed custody evaluator!), it made me feel validated in my efforts for those years because someone finally recognized that I love my child and am a good dad. I do get some satisfaction that there is SOMETHING positive about me in the court record.

I have made it clear to my child that I love her and am here for her when she is ready to reach out. She hasn't gotten there yet, and I have to accept the fact that she may never realize what has been done to her and that her mind is not her own.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this too, but I must agree that it feels like being freed from a long confinement.

My condolences go out to you my friend.

[MixedBag]

because you have a difficult road ahead of you.

Yes, I believe it can be turned around because we did with EX#3's 3 children.

but others have not managed -- and I won't say "failed" because that's not right.  It just didn't work for them.

[determined]

As usual, I have no words of wisdom that can help, you already know far more than I.  All I can offer are my prayers.

[true]

 
PAS

It is a symptom that creeps up on the custodial parent, and or the full time parent, although it happens within a 50/50 issue too.  PAS can creep up onto the non custodial parent prehaps more easily. It is not just a non custodial issue.

PAs: It is a very dangerous approach that some parents and step parents use to gain the "advantage",  or vice versa.

All in all most likely it will take years for the children involved to realise and most likely some have been so "turned" that the parent invovled will have not have a postitive relationship with their children.  The parent involved  as the words, and or issues are pressed upon becomes the OutSider.

We are creating a circle affect within Our Children, as we divorce.

I am sorry to admit that in "covering" for another parents inablitys that my children fell into the trap of the "stepparent" alienation syndrome.

Its a very sad cycle, that most courts do not realise but given "time" the negative result can be obtained by the Aleinator.

Given the cycle and the courts approval it will be years and perhaps a lifetime time that the children involved will never realise that the alienated parent only strived for the best of their children.

Obvioulsy, it will take multiple "studies" from social workers, phychloigists etc and also the children themselves coming forward and expressing the situations etc.

Divorce may release You from your partner, Divorce does not realise you in using offspring to Your financial advantage or am emotional advantage towards one parent or another.

Children derserve to be unscathed by O/our actions as a parent. All too often we as parents, step parents place words, emotions, and thoughts into our childrens every day life by just speaking them aloud with each child's prescence. We as parents are to blame.

truw