6 years since I've seen my only son

[Zack069]

This is my first time posting so if I'm posting in the wrong forum let me know. Anyway, I'm a non-custodial parent of a 6 year old boy. I haven't seen him since Nov. 17, 2001. I've spent time in and out of mental hospitals soon after he was born. After my first time out I moved in with my mom and dad to recover. I had the stupid idea to not let my son see how I could be when I was sick so that was the reason I moved in with them. Mind you there was no indication that my marriage was in trouble and also asked my wife if there were any problems and the answer was no. Thing started going south soon after I moved in with them and she would never return my calls.It was like this for a couple more years and a few more times in the mental hospital. I was served with papers a year ago and afterwards the divorce followed. Through this whole time my ex acused me of not wanting my only son and of course that was not true. I had to hold it together at the divorce hearing, but went through hell after I got home because I could not understand why my wife did not want me anymore. I've been guessing as to the reason for all this for the past 6 years. She had a lawyer and I did not because I could not afford one and did go through legal aid and they were no help either. She got full custody and I got bupkiss. I think the divorce happened because she did not understand what was happening to me so I guess she decided to get rid of the weak link sort of speak. She still refuses to learn about mental illness and still remains ignorant to the fact. Recently, I, my wife and her lawyer were in the middle of setting up a way to introduce me to the son I never saw. All this was to be set up through the courts. In addition a request was made for my med records which amoung other thing should contain medications. I complied to help things go smoothly with the introduction of my son to me. That was 2 to 3 months ago and its taking way to long to set this stuff up. Its possible that my wife does not want to comply with the rest of this because of her misunderstandings of mental illness. I've never been violent to her or my son. I'm just one giant open wound and I don't know want to do.

[mistoffolees]

You can't change your ex. If she doesn't want to learn about mental illness, there's absolutely no way to force her, so get that issue out of your mind entirely. Just assume the worst from her and you won't be disappointed.

I would suggest that you focus on 2 issues:

1. Getting yourself healthy. Worrying about your ex won't help this and might hurt. Focus completley on what you need to do to get yourself healthy.

2. Arranging time with your son. Since your son has never met you, it will be frightening, particularly if your ex has been telling him stories. In order to expedite the process of meeting him ASAP, I would consider volunteering for supervised visits until everyone is more comfortable with the situation. Her attorney can hardly object to supervised visits. A supervised visit is better than none and, frankly, it might take you years of battles before you get any unsupervised visits (if you get them at all). Take what you can get now and then work on improving the situation.

Good luck.

[Zack069]

The process for supervised visitation was in the works and was to take place at the courthouse pending the receiving of my med records to her lawyer but hell that was 2 months ago. I'm thinking when my ex got a look at the meds I'm currently taking, it might very well have scared her and made it even worse for me. This time it wasn't directly my fault. Jeez, what's with this woman. Get this, we were together 12 years. When she got pregnant, I immediately married her. After that, the marriage didn't last 8 months.

[mistoffolees]

You don't have to wait for her attorney. You can request a visition schedule from the court at any time.

[Zack069]

Is there some kind of form. If so, which one is it? I'm googling all over the place and can't find a specific form.

[mistoffolees]

Ask your court clerk - or your attorney.

[Zack069]

Ok. Thanks