My husband

[H Cole]

My husband owes back child support and is paying twice as what his payment is supposed to be. But the ammount does not seem to be getting smaller on top of it all my 12 year old stepson just wants to live with his dad but nobody will listen to him the childsupport my husband pays is going to a woman whom dropped my stepson off at her abusive parents house when he was five and he has been there ever since.  They accused my husband of child abuse which he was cleared of but the judge decided that the only way my husband can see his son is to have supervised visitation at my mother in laws house.  Since she lives five hours away and my husband has two other children to care for it is not easy it seems we have exausted all of our options but I really need to know my husbands exs even offered to let him sign his rights away until she found out she would not be getting anymore money what can I do I have a letter from the protective services department stating that my husband was cleared and his name was removed from that case but the judge still said my husband cant be alone with his own son that just wants to live with his dad.  Any advise please help we have went through three attorneys and still got crap to show for it.   HELP HELP HELP

[ocean]

Something else is going on here...Supervised visits do not get used often and usually over time it is lifted. I would go to a lawyer and see what they can do to make a plan to gradually see son more and at your house. Maybe they are afraid he will not return son? In the meantime, have him make the trip as often as he can to show he is trying to be apart of his life. He should go to all school events if possible too.
Good luck!

[H Cole]

We have had three lawyers the rason this all started is because my stepson did not want to go back to his grand parents wh odid not have custody of him his mom had run off years ago.  So my mother in law did not take him back but what really ticks me off is that she has the visitation my husband should have the lawyer we had got her visitation but no one defended my husband and my mother in law wonders why I will not let my one year old son go to her house.

[ohu812]

There seems to be more to this story. If abuse/neglect was never substantiated then it shouldnt be hard to modify. I dont know what state your in but evidence cant be introduced twice. Generally you cant talk about things that happened prior to the last court hearing. If nothing has happened then you should be able to modify. A natural parent has preference over a grandparent unless there has been something substantiated at the time.

[mistoffolees]

For starters, please write in proper English. People here are taking the time to read your post and offer advice. The least you can do is make at least a minimal effort to make it readable. No one expects perfect grammar, but your post takes at least 5 times as long to understand as if you had the simple courtesy to put a few periods and capital letters in.

I agree with the poster(s) who say that there's something else going on here. If he still has supervised visitation after many years after an original unsubstantiated claim, then either something has been left out or the three attorneys are all incompetent. I have no way of knowing which.

Further, if he's paying twice his required support and the balance is not getting smaller, then there's an error in the calculation which you should be able to get fixed. I suspect that the balance IS getting smaller and you just don't think it's going down fast enough. I don't know if interest is included on past balances, but that might account for the discrepancy. Owing back support is just like any other debt (except that it doesn't go away on bankruptcy and it's also less morally defensible since it's basically stealing from a child). The way to deal with high back support is to never have arrears in the first place. While there are times when it's unavoidable, there IS an obligation to pay it back.

[H Cole]

First of all it is not stealing from the child when you are paying money whom has the child living with them instead of the mother whom abandoned the child when he was only two years old illegally I might add the day she dropped him off at her parents my husband should have been notified as the custody papers state. Another thing there is nothing else going on and I posted here to get advice on what he can do not to get remarks from smart elics and there is nothing wrong with my grammer please do me a faVOR AND DONT REPLY TO ANY OF MY POST.

[mistoffolees]

>First of all it is not stealing from the child when you are
>paying money whom has the child living with them instead of
>the mother whom abandoned the child when he was only two years
>old illegally I might add the day she dropped him off at her

Then he should have taken action. As it is, he's legally bound to follow the court rules. And how do you know that the mother isn't giving the money to the grandmother?

>parents my husband should have been notified as the custody
>papers state. Another thing there is nothing else going on and
>I posted here to get advice on what he can do not to get
>remarks from smart elics and there is nothing wrong with my
>grammer please do me a faVOR AND DONT REPLY TO ANY OF MY
>POST.

You asked for help and I'm pointing out that you're going to get more help if you make a minimal effort to make your post readable. I'm sorry you think that you're perfect and can't use advice. I'm not going to do a line by line critique, but will stand by my position that the way you write your posts makes them extremely difficult to read. Use of punctuation and capitalization would make a big difference - and make it easier for people to offer advice.

[williaer]

I came out of lurkdom to agree.

[Jade]

>First of all it is not stealing from the child when you are
>paying money whom has the child living with them instead of
>the mother whom abandoned the child when he was only two years
>old illegally I might add the day she dropped him off at her
>parents my husband should have been notified as the custody
>papers state.


My response:

That is sure one long sentence.


Another thing there is nothing else going on and
>I posted here to get advice on what he can do not to get
>remarks from smart elics and there is nothing wrong with my
>grammer

My response:

If you say so.  BTW, just what does elics mean?


 please do me a faVOR AND DONT REPLY TO ANY OF MY
>POST.

My response:

It is a public message board.  If you don't want a response, don't post.