Unsupervised Kids,,, again

[gemini3]

My husband posted a few weeks ago about his oldest child be left home alone before school in the mornings.  We were able to get that resolved by using our "co-parenting counselor", who told his ex that it was "questionable" as to whether or not that was acceptable, and that she needed to find care for the child before school.

Now his youngest told me that when she got home from school today her mother wasn't home.  Her mother is enrolled in school, and tries to work her school schedule around the kids school schedule so she doesn't have to pay for daycare.  (Even though we offered to pay for 1/2, over and above the child support.)  Apparently, sometimes she doesn't make it home on time, and this isn't the first time that it's happened.

The problem is that his youngest is only 7 years old, and there is no one around who she can go to if her mom isn't home when she gets home.  She said she's been going to her friends house, but the problem is that her friend is a 9 year old who stays home alone while her mother is at work.  There is no adult available to make sure she gets off the bus, or to supervise her if her mother isn't there when she gets home.

We have had several serious issues with the kids being unsupervised, this being the most recent.  This child has some behavioral problems, and started a fire in the woods behind the apartment complex a few months ago.  

Is there anything we can do?  Can we go ask the court to modify the custody agreement to say that the children must have adequate supervision when the mom is not available?  

If we try to address it with BM, she denies anything is happening.  The counselor had to talk to the oldest directly to find out what's going on.  She refuses to tell us what her class schedule is, so we have no way of really knowing when the kids are being left home alone.

There has to be something we can do about this.  The kids are having increasing behavioral problems, and their grades have been slipping since their mother started going to school full time.  My husband and I think that this has a lot to do with the fact that they're being left alone on a regular basis.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[wendl]

When you think your child is home alone, call the police and have them do a child welfare check to make sure she is ok, explain he has problems and that she is only 7 and you are scared for her safety.  That way you have it documented, have them right a report.  If the child is alone asked to be notified so someone can come pick her up.

Just a thought.

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MixedBag]

I would agree.  Good idea.

Trying to think how old my girls were when I started letting them be home alone for that hour before I got home, and they were a bit older than that and had someone to go to IF there was an emergency.

[gamma]

You can ask and get in court her school schedule. When my daughter was going to college, she had to provide that every semester. Often when one is going to school full time, that directly affects the CS figures, and so it is not out of line for one to have to prove they are going each semester.

I can surely understand her having a tough time with school, and being short on funds. However she can't being leaving the kids unsupervised. Geesh get a neighbor or relative. And depending on her income, it is possible, to get money from the state for childcare while attending school. Most schools have after school programs that are very reasonable. And there is another parent that would be responsible for some of that cost. In my state childcare is figured by income, so if the 2 incomes are far apart, one can pay up to 90% of daycare. So really there is no excuse here for her. Is your husband available after school?

The thing with getting a police report, is that could bring in child protective services, and they are not a pleasure for either side to deal with. I would take it to court before doing that and I think you have proof with a counselor getting it from the children.

[gemini3]

I don't think there's any excuse for it.  My husband offered to pay for 1/2 of the child care cost.  We also live very close-by, and could pick the kids up of necessary.  She just doesn't want him to.

I don't want to have to go through the whole court situation again, and I don't want to involve the police either.  Those would both be last resort things.  We've decided to ask, in counseling, for her to sign an agreement that the children will have adult supervision when she or her husband are not available until a certain age.  I think the counselor will support that, and she would be hard pressed to find a reason not to agree to it.