Should I stay

[jsdiecast]

Hi,
I'm new at this forum stuff so I hope I do it correctly. I've been married for 11 years this Sept 20th. 2 months ago I noticed a change in my wife. I sat down with her and asked if there was anything wrong. She said no but I didn't believe it by the way she said it. I tried getting her to talk about the problem we was facing but no luck. I told her we should go to counseling. She agreed. At that point I know it was an issue between her and I. We started counseling and on our first appointment she said we've been having issue for 10 years. Unknown to me because in that 10 years we had 4 children. I wasn't aware of any issue and if we were having issues, why did we have 4 children.

To make a long story short, at one of our meetings, she said she needed to be alone, on her own. We tried the giving space thing... didn't work, she decided she was moving out. I tried to convince her to stay but she left and took all 4 kids and 1 dog. Our kids are 10, 8, 6, 5. That night I called her and told her it would be better if the kids where here at home with all their stuff. I told her if she all the sudden hated me that much, I would leave. Was this a mistake?

A week later I just couldn't do it anymore. I moved back in the house. She didn't like that and said if you're going to be here she was leaving. I asked her not to. She said to bad and she was taking the kids again. She went to the corner and waited for the bus to come. She stopped the bus to take the 3 children off and she took off not telling where she was going. I had a feeling she was going to her moms.  Was it wrong to move back in?

Today my youngest son had football practice. I always go to all of our kids stuff always. I knew I would see my kids there. When I arrived, only 1 child was there. I asked where the other were and they were at her moms house. I played a little catch with my son and told him I had to go. I went to her moms house to see my other 3 kids. I knocked on the door and her mother let me in. She told me the kids were in the livingroom When I got there my 2 girls came running to me. I picked them both up and gave many kisses and hugs... My other son some out and we also hunged and kissed. Then (here's the kicker), my father-in-law comes out of the bathroom and asks me who invited me over. I thought he was joking. He wasn't.  He asked again and I told him my kids. He said I was not welcome in his house and to get out. Remember I still have 3 kids with me and 2 in my arms. He kicked me out of his house where my kids are. They would not let me see my kids. I told him this was wrong and I wanted to take my kids out of that house. No way he said. Mind you I have done nothing wrong at all to my wife or kids.

My wife and kids are welcome to come back to our house to live anytime they want. My wife refuses to and says she is keeping the kids. This is not fair to me.

Can I file for temorary custody of the kids?

[John-J-Jay]

You can file for temporary custody but you are behind the 8 ball because you are a man. My suggestion is to file something immediately so you can start to see them without them holding the hostage. You have rights and fight for every right you have. I have custody of my two kids for 9 years now and won another 21 month long battle when the mom tried to take my child.

[jsdiecast]

Thanks for the reply. I'm going to start the process tomorrow. I am seeing my wife tonight and going to tell her I want the kids Friday, Saturday and Sunday. She can pick them up on Sunday Night.

[Davy]

Do not expect any cooperation and .. protect yourself against any false accusations that may be coming your way.  That means only meet her in a public place and never in a place you may find yourself in a compromising position.  CYA at all times.

Before any orders are in place you can take your children anywhere.  Do not let her or her father order you or your children around.  At the present time, your goal should be to get the children home, change all the locks, and legally restrain the mother from the children and the home.  The alternative is you being disenfranchised from your children and home.

Do your best to assure the children do not witness any conflict ( for example at her father's house).

Know in advance that others are likely to provoke, harass, or intimidate you into a negative reaction so be prepared and don't accomodate.

It appears you are in the beginning stage of what is likely grow much uglier for you and your children as time move forwards.  

[Fueledbyjava]

  Get a lawyer. start documenting everything your STBX does and anytime that you are denied visitation with your children by her but especially by her parents or others as they have no right to keep your children from seeing you. Her father had the right to kick you out of his house but he does not have the right to kep the kids there against your wishes. You could have taken the kids with you right then and there. Change the deadbolts on the house. Get your lawyer to file a motion setting a temporary visitation schedule, I suggest at least 50/50 time with a pre- determined schedule setting days of pick up/drop off and time and place. Gather all your financial information I.E tax returns pay stubs etc. sepaerate your bank accounts if they are joint and get your own credit card, you will need it. It sounds to me like this will be rough for yopu and your children as she probably has her family and friends egging her on and telling her how to steamroll you. stay cool, don't deny her access to the children or her things, just demand your equal time. Stay involved in their school and extracurricular activities even when they are not with you. Do not be goaded into fights or confrontations with her or her family, they will try this, it is a trap. Communicate only in writing(e-mail) or text message from here on out, this will avoid any false accusations and will document any irrational behavior. Do not even speak to her about your case and do not even talk to her family. She is the enemy now and she will try to take your children and use them as a meal ticket. She is going to try and ruin your life, get ready for battle.