wild accusations...

[too_short]

Hi all,

Some background... NCP of 8 year old son.  Son lives in PA with mom.
I live out of state.

Last November, son was diagnosed with behavior disorder -- lots of problems at school, fighting, etc...  Mom refuses couseling for son.  Last Feb., I filed for change in custody.  Since then mom has countiuously violated order.  She already has been found in contempt for refusing visitation back in February.  I have been trying to get counseling for my son since.  Mother simply refuses.

Since July, I have only been able to have one successful weekend with son.  We had a hearing that Friday, and since in presence of attorney's mom let son go with me -- this was in September.  All the other times, she called 911 and had my son tell police officers he doens't want to go.  P.O.'s then tell me I can't have son and that I should go to court.

I do have a contempt petition pending -- but it's been bundled with the custody hearing which has been pushed back until February.  Also, I have been appending the contempt petition as mom keeps violating the order.

 Well, at mother's insistence pickups got moved to local police station.  Mom was hoping to steamline the process of denying visitations, i.e. I guess she didn't like having to make 911 calls all the time.

At police station, I start playing with my son.  Officers see son laughing as I pick him up on my shoulders, tickle him, etc...  While I played with my son, mother
goes to front desk and tells them my son does not want to go with me.
Officer on duty says they have to enforce the order.  Mother refuses to leave and makes lots of accusations against me.  Officer is skeptical since he witnessed me playing with my son.  They seperated my son from the discussion with another police officer and son makes accusations too.  The first officer also spoke to son and felt son was only echoing what his mother has been telling him.  PO says they have to enforce order.  Tells her if she doesn't give up child for weekend she will be inviolation of the order.   Mother still refused to leave without son.  

So she left with son.  PO wrote report stating mother refused to give custody of son while in presence of officers.  From what I gatheraccusations were along the lines of isolation of my son -- locking him in his room, denying phone calls, denying food.  They're probally more, but these were just some of what I heard.

This is quite a spin on things.  I have a house rule that son is not allowed to make calls when he's having a tantrum or is being disciplined.  As I don't spank my child, my main form of discipline is time outs.   He has  timeouts in his room which last about  5 to 10 minutes and aren't applied very often (at most two times in a weekend, many weekends not applied at all).  I'm not much of a disciplinarian because I want to ensure weekends are lots of fun.
Now I don't know where the issues of food are coming from but I'm sure another spin on something.

None of these accusations were made in September before either of our attorney's when I got my son for that weekend.  And I made sure he had the best weekend ever since I didn't have him since June.  Also, I have been pushing counseling hard to mom since March.  I've sent at least 10 letters (all certified)
on counseling -- even submitted a list of counselors I contacted who would be able
to counsel son.  Mother flat out refused counseling.

This crap has to end now.  Suggestions appreciated.

 

[MYSONSDAD]

I think both of our PBFH could be twins!

I get the same stuff. Document everything. Have the Police write a report everytime she is a no show or does not let you take your son.
Even if she does not show, get a report. There are cameras that run 24/7 inside the station. This would also help show your son wants to be with you.

I use the Optimal for my documenting. It automatically calculates the missed time. I would ask for all make up time and have dates of your make up time ready for the Judge. I would also ask for all expenses incurred from these contempts.

This is what I do, I go get my son everytime. If you don't show up for the pick ups, they can not be considered contempt. I take my son, I let her know I am going by the court order. If she doesn't like it, TOUCH SHIT.

Get copies of all the Police reports. I have a 3 ring binder, with indexed tabs. Having everything easy to see and organized will help with getting your point across to the Judge. Include pictures of you and your son together. Pictures of your home and his room. Put things in there that will help show the Judge what is going on. Sounds like PAS.

Cover your bases and document every detail. Keep everything. You never know what you might need. Phone records of you contacting her and so on...

Get with your attorney and light a fire under him. Insist on getting your son counceling.

And don't be surprised if she gets a false RO on you. That will be the next step on keeping you away.

Another thought might be, check your State for Criminal Interference of Visitation. This might work out better for you. But you can only use contempt OR this criminal interference.

With the criminal, 3 times found guilty, she might go to jail...


That is what it says in my state. But then again, I have never heard of the mommy going to jail.

Good luck! Keep us posted