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[MYSONSDAD]

 
 
 
 
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Editorials & Letters


Child custody
Judges should maintain control of where kids go
FLINT
THE FLINT JOURNAL FIRST EDITION
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
A group of Michigan fathers suing to force judges to award them joint child custody should back off from their trouble-making proposition.

A lawsuit seeking that intrusive change in family law is pending in federal court, complementing similar litigation in other states. The suit would hamstring judges into granting joint custody as "the norm," unless compelling reasons could be shown why it is not a good idea.

If these activist fathers truly want to be closer to their children, they will achieve it in their personal relations with them, not through judicial intervention. Granted, the dads' stated goal is greater involvement in their children's lives. But the price would be to take away some of the judges' power in awarding custody in all cases, making it harder for judges to focus on what is best for the children.
 
The fact is, joint custody is already frequently awarded; it accounted for 23 percent of custody rulings in Michigan during 2002. Still, dissatisfied fathers complain that mothers are given a prejudicial preference, demonstrated by their gaining physical custody in 64 percent of cases.

But that statistic alone does not indicate judges ruled badly or against the children's best interest. Fathers who feel passed over by the courts when they could have been the better custodial parent need to appeal as individuals, not by overhauling law to weight it more in their favor - at least not without showing that the law as it stands leads to poor decisions.

As any wise judge would advise, when divorced parents cooperate selflessly in the interest of their children, a judicial decree is superfluous anyway.

By contrast, when parents allow egotism and anger to govern their relations with each other and then drag their children into the battle, there isn't much a court can do. Nor will the activist fathers' lawsuit smooth the way for such people, no matter how it is settled.

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"Children learn what they live"

[Bolivar]

[em]"But the price would be to take away some of the judges' power in awarding custody in all cases, making it harder for judges to focus on what is best for the children."[/em]

[font size = "+1"]Give me a break.  Should judges' ALSO have the power to decide "what is best for the children" when parents are MARRIED?

Why is it when dads are classified as divorced they have different rights than when classified married?

Who knows, perhaps with the Governmental Regulations on the Family taking place,, will in 25 years, force married parents to go in front of a judge to determine "what is best for the children".

Maybe in 35 years married couples will have to ask a judge if they can have children.

Problems with the family-law system, which makes custody decisions based on the vague statement of "best interests of the child."

It is a meaningless standard which one can't fight. Which is best for children, to teach them to be generous or to teach them to be stingy? To spend time on Shakespeare or on baseball?

Which is better? We don't know. There are no valid studies that answer the question of what is best for children. Instead, judges simply impose their own biases about what they think is best, with no checks or balances.

The government has the obligation to protect children from harm. But absent abuse or harm, the government should not impose conditions on parents who are before the court that it would NOT impose on INTACT families, like telling parents where to live or how to behave.  Government stay OUT of the family!

*!*!* The solution for many of these problems is a presumption that parents should share custody evenly!!!!!

The fundamental unfairness of current custody law increases the conflict.
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[MYSONSDAD]

On the heals of Michigan filing their Class Action Lawsuit. Shows the negative attitudes, we have a long way to go on this road.

I am surprised that they haven't thought to put contraceptives in the water suppy...

"Children learn what they live"

[mariajb]

I am SO happy that someone else feels the way I do.

Why is the judicial system that is so messed up, complicated, fragmented and even though they like to act like their God, they aren't and I am sick of being intimidated by the system by "consequences" when I am a mom and would do whats in the best interests of my children no matter who tells me too or doesn't, that's called social responsibility.

And each parent should wake up and smell the coffee when they start playing games and using the kids in a power play, because people like them are the ones the government uses as an excuse to intrude on everyone's lives.  What happens to the kids who are used as weapons within a marriage? You can't run to court.

But the poster had SUCH a great point, that how come your status changes when you divorce?  Why do we become second-class citizens and our kids thrown into this power struggle, adversarial position.

That's why I am going to take a stand for my kids, the system be damned.
(See my other post My Kids And I Are Rolling the Dice (Long))

They are being emotionally (all the time) and physically abused (we've had 3 incidents in a month) and they have had enough and I am not waiting around to pay some lawyer an exhorbitant amount of money while I wait for some judge to get off his butt, and have been told being a good girl and going thru the system could take months, YEARS maybe.

I DON'T HAVE YEARS !!!!!

Maybe if more and more people spoke up we could find a much better way than an inefficient, bloated, bureacratic-laden system that laughably has power now.

May God help us all, I can feel Him with me.

[MYSONSDAD]

"Children learn what they live"