newbie in search of some direction

[flbluiiis]

My bf and his ex were married for 7ish years.  They have three children (8,6, 5).  They were divorced in FL about 3 years ago.  His ex put up a huge fit and wanted to move to VA to be closer to her family.  My bf allowed her to go with the kids, with the hopes that she would move on with her life and be happy... then also making the kids lives better with a happier less bitter mother.  For about 8 months he tried to see the kids as much as possible, but it was not enough for him or the kids.  We moved to VA almost 2 years ago to be closer to them.  When we moved up here she was living an hour away from us, but then shortly after we got up here she re-married and moved another hour away.  We are now a total of 2 hrs away.

They did not have lawyers when they got divorced, it was quick.  She has full custody of the kids, and when we got up here they worked out a visitation schedule.  There is no official record with the court, yet.  He gets them every other weekend and every other year for holidays.  He tries very hard to get them more on the "off" weekends... or when they have a day off of school for a long weekend or during summer.  His ex has always held it over his head that she does not have to let him see the kids and she can say no whenever she wants.  In the past they two of them usually worked it out, mostly he would just get tired of fighting and give in...settling for his every other weekend is better than nothing.  Recently she has been getting worse about it and threatened that during spring and fall when the kids are playing sports she doesn't feel like driving to get them after our weekend time is up.  We drive 2 hrs down to see them play (every weekend) and take them back with us on the "on" weekends.  Since they split the cost she is supposed to come up to get them from our house.  Which is why she is threatening to not let us take them on the normal "on" weekends...she doesn't want to drive.

Since we live two hours away and can't have them during the school days, what is the chance he can get them every other weekend and on school breaks (especially over summer)?

Should he fight for joint custody, or is he too late for that?