Trying to help a friend get his son back..

[Curious23]

I have a friend going through a really difficult time right now and I was hoping to help him get some answers...

My friend lives in Southern California and is going through a nasty divorce right now and they have an adorable five year old who unfortunately is stuck in the middle of an ugly custody battle that has been going on for over a year now. His ex wife first went into this telling everyone that my friend was a wife beater and horrible father etc etc.. Every accusation she made he was able to prove wrong. Now we all know that its very hard to take a child away from their mother but finally 4 weeks ago after CPS investigated them both and all the claims that were made against the mother from the school and spoke to the son who is terrified to be with his mother my friend was awarded primary custody of his son. Since then she has been doing everything possible to try and take custody away from him. She called social services a couple of times complaining he was beating their son and watching porno with him and they of course proved that was yet another malicious attempt from the wife. Then two weeks ago he dropped their son off to visit with his mother for the night and that afternoon his son told him that mommy's boyfriend was hitting him in the head again so he asked her about it. This was a problem 6 months back but his ex wife swore hewasn't around their child anymore so she was upset that she was caught but still she said there was nothing she could do about it. My friend was going to file a restraining order that Monday so he went home and he was at home when the police showed up and arrested him. They never asked him what happened & they never even read him his rights so he didn't know what was going on until he was down at the station. The only thing the officer did say when he arrested him was "I hope you like getting Butt****** in Jail". Apparently his ex wife called the police right after he dropped his son off and said that he grabbed her and threatened to kill her. Because this was over the weekend he was in jail for 4 days, during his arraignment they dropped charged to a misdemeanor and his trial is scheduled for the28th . When he got out of jail he went to work that morning and then went to pick up his son at school and he was notified of a temporary retraining order against the wife, their son, and the boyfriend that he has never even met. Not to mention he was never even served for the restraining order until this past Monday and he was released from custody on the24th . The courts took her son away from her because she was neglecting him BIG TIME, the stories they had against her are horrid but yet they allow her to do this. He has no idea where his son is, the school called him today and said that they were concerned because his son this week has missed two days and was late today yet there is nothing he can do about it. Heis going to file criminal charges on her for false allegations but he doesn't know what his rights are. He knows the criminal case will be dropped on him because this happened in a parking lot with video cameras all over and they are going tosubpoena the tapes but still he almost lost his job, he was in jail for 4 days, has not seen his son and at this point enough is enough. This woman has tried running him over with a car in front of the son and yet no arrests are ever made when his life was in danger. Their son is terrified of his mother and the courts know this but how is it possible that he has to face this? When he files charges on her for false allegations can the DA throw the case out or is this something they have to pursue but most importantly, is he going to be able to get his son back.

[orgncwby]

WOW,,  that case sounds so familiar with my case.  All I can really say to your friend is to hang in there and make sure he trys all he can to make sure the child knows he is thinking about him.  I was in a similar situation and the only thing I can say is that it finally took the ex lieing to enough judges and the judges remembering the lies to save me.  I spent over forty grand in legal fees in the last four years and to this day I still am always letting my children know they are number one. 
So I know im not much help with any of it but I just wanted you to know that your friend is not alone and as tough as it may seem in the end the rightful will prosper.

[Curious23]

Thank you so much for responding.. My friend referred me here and I was so excited to finally get home helpful information or advice but I didn't hear anything back. =( Its a very difficult situation and Im sorry to hear that you have to go through that as well. Its so hard to watch a good friend and most importantly a good father go through something like this because of our system. My friend cant have any communication with his son because of the restraining order so thats the hardest part. My friends son is very abused over there and the school calls my friend every other day even though they are not supposed to because of the restraining order but there is nothing my friend can do until he goes to his court date on the 28th. His attorney knows the charges will be dropped because of the way the police report was written and of course he is innocent but still he hasn't seen his son this whole time and he was the one with primary custody. I just cant believe that we live in this country and things like this still go on, there is no support for the innocent and how to do you get someone to listen to you especially when there is a child being abused. Thank you again for responding and I wish you all the luck in your situation..