child support

[grtdaddy]

Well it's not like he provides alot of support. He only pays $123 a month. So YES i do provide most of the finanical support for the child. I am sorry i even asked this question. If i would of knew i was going to be attacked i would of never asked.

wait a second, i thought you asked if he has child a day more than you per week, meaning he takes care of the child 4 days out of 7? so he is paying for housing, utilities and food and still pays CS. but you are claiming to provide most of the financial support? maybe we are misunderstanding your circumstances but from what you have said it sounds to me like he is pulling his weight and then some. just my opinion

[Davy]

There is no one "attacking" any one. 

Let me try to help with your comfort level.  You may want to know that when you retire the Social Security system entitles a female to half the value of your ex husband's social security benefit if you were married for 10 yesrs and you don't remarry.   NOT TO MALES ONLY FEMALES.  Ugh...Uhmm....thats LEGAL too.  Makes one wonder what idiots are passing these laws and why.l

Following is an excerpt from an article to be in news print on Father's Day (06-21-09) :

8.    It has been well known since at least the Moynihan report in 1965 that welfare serves as a disincentive to marriage and an incentive to divorce and unwed childbearing. The subsidy on single-mother homes has never really been curtailed. Reformers largely replaced welfare with child support so that now middle class single parenting is subsidized.

[marykay123]

By one day more i mean in a whole year. Not on a monthly basis. In the summer father has child more then me,,,during the school year, i have child more. Plus dad's normal visitation stuff.

[ksmarks]

If Support is court ordered the only way to change that is to request a modification.  Some States do calculate child supports awards based upon the amount of time each parent has the child.  You would have to check with your own state to see if that would apply.

However as a commentary it is the award of child support that makes most parents crazy.  It costs the non custodial parent that has an split parenting agreement the same amount that it cost the custodial parent to feed, cloth and support the child.

The idea that one parent should have to support the other parent's life so that the child can live in the same standard at both houses is both out dated and not reasonable... The parent paying the support actuallly has to earn the income and then pay taxes on the amount paid.

There is less stress and strife for the child(ren) when they know that both of their parents are supporting them.  (When with me I pay when with dad he'lll pay, we will split extras such as instruments and sport eqipment and fees.)

[worried_step_mom]

I think that the child support is what its for to support the child.  Dad is doing his part, he pays for the home, bills, food, gas, i sure he get the child clothes and things for school. Why schould he help pay for ex's stuff.  If mom can "make it" with the income she gets plus the child support then, dad schould take the child and you have the visitations and summers.

Maybe that will help you financially if the child is costing more then what the court ordered was resonable in child support.

[HIGHLIGHT=#00b0f0][HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]**my general opinon** [/HIGHLIGHT][/HIGHLIGHT]
Has anyone (female) even really given the dad the option to keep the child. I have never heard of that. I think most mom just take the kids and leave and say ok, now you pay child support cause i can't do it alone and this is YOUR child too.  Why didn't they remeber that as they took the child out of the fathers home.  I am almost positive that most dad's would have gladlly cared for thier child.

[HIGHLIGHT=#ffff00]In a perfect word 50/50 would be: mom has child 0-4, dad 4=(pre-k to 3rd grade), mom (4th-8th), dad (9th-12th) or vice versa. Where both parents share everything and family from both sides get to be more involved in the childs life. Child Support would never be an issue.[/HIGHLIGHT]

[ksmarks]

Worried, in response yes, some Mother's do see it as being better for their children to be with dad, in my case it was better for me to go and get a college education so that I could continue to support our children.  It was not a popular decision over 15 years ago, however my children benefited from the split, we all love each other and know that although their father and I no longer live together, (each of  us remarried) we still respect the others place and importance in our children's lives.

I do not know about perfect but our arrangement was pretty darn close to it. I had the kids two nights a week and every other weekend, school vacations (unless they were going on a family trip with dad), and every other week during the summer.   Their father and I agreed to maintain a residence in their home school district until the youngest graduated from high school and he could keep the family home without paying me my interest in the home until then, or if he sold it first.

We split the costs of extras: sport and band related costs,  as well as expenses for special camps and recogniction trips.  We even split the foriegn exchange students that we hosted over the years with the exchange students following our children.   We co- host bithday's and graduations, and each of us payed for the kids when they were with us.  No money changed hands.  It was great and we were still able to co-parent our children, without the interference of courts and Law guardians.  We even shared our daughters dog!

When we split up our marriage counselor was afraid my ex would kill me, after he found out that I did not want to castrate him financially, he was my friend and supporter.  It was the money that  was going to makes things ugly. We took the money out of the equation and hence the overriding stress and strife.

[worried_step_mom]

[HIGHLIGHT=#ff0000]KSMARKS[/HIGHLIGHT] thank you for sharing your story.  I think what you have done is GREAT. I applaude you for thinking out your kids future.  Which in fact will be great cause mom and dad are not fighting over money.  Money is great but it damages alot of relationship that otherwise would have been good.

I sure hope alto of women read your story and take it as an example.

Confratulations. You have set the bar high. May God Bless you and ALL your family

[ksmarks]

Thanks for the support, but I have to tell you that I really do beleive that money and the need to be in control are the roots of great evil when it comes to custody issues.