Need Help Please!

[KirasMommy]

In June of 2007 my ex had the judge abate my CS. The temporary order was submitted to the child support disbursement unit & subsequently the CS was no longer being garnished from my paycheck. MY ex and I made an agreement & he lowered my support payments if I paid him directly so he wouldn't have to go back to court, and he said he would write a letter for the court file stating same. I continued to pay him, even though the temp order was on file, for another 18 months. In January of this year he contacted me and said he wanted more $$. When I told him it was against our agreement, he said he decided how much/when I paid & there was no agreement. He proceeded to take me to court when I wouldn't give him more $ and the court date was today. I contacted the child support office yesterday morning & was told that my order was listed as a "registry order" only and the original order was closed per the temp court order in 2007. I was told if there were any arrearages that they would have had to enforce the order, but there is no order. My motion was dismissed in Nov 2007, but we continued to follow the temp order, except for the CS he was making me pay him directly. The judge said in court that if the motion was dismissed, then the temp order was most likely dismissed as well. He then proceeded to find me in contempt for non-payment of CS! How can I be in contempt for something that doesn't exist? If the original CO was back in force, wouldn't myself and the CS office have to have been informed and wouldn't a new CS order have to be re-instated in order for me to be held accountable for it? My checks were garnished, if they are not being garnished now, nor for the last 21 months, how can I be in contempt if they aren't taking the money? I have always paid my support, I paid when I wasn't ordered to, and always consistently & on time. I had my cancelled checks that my ex cashed to show in court and the payment records from CS showing that I was never behind. Yet, the judge stated that I was obligated by the original CO when my last motion was dismissed. My ex even stated that he didn't pursue re-instating the CS order but didn't give a reason why. The judge said that I didn't have a written agreement with my ex so even though I paid him CS (as stated on all the checks), I was still in violation of the CO because I wasn't paying through the CS office. How can I pay through the CS office when they don't have an open case for me to begin with? So the judge ordered me to pay in excess (mind you this is only over the past 16 months) of $3,200 + 6% interest + $1000 for ex's atty fees, my CS was raised to $500/mo for one child now. He ordered me to appear in court on Aug. 13 and said he would do sentencing at that time for the contempt if I hadn't paid the atty fees by then.

I am at a complete loss here. If my ex signed & cashed my checks doesn't this make it a legally binding document/agreement? If there is a temporary order before the court, doesn't it remain in effect until it is changed or finalized? How can I found in contempt for an order that isn't even there? I know I've asked that already, but I just can't fathom how this could have happened. I'm not trying to evade my responsibility for my child, I had no problem paying for her, and paying the amount he stated, until he wanted to keep raising it without a judge's order.

Does anyone know if there are any precedents or statutes that deal with temporary orders and the appeal process. Because I am definitely appealing this decision. I should not have to be treated like I'm a deadbeat parent in court when I proved that I was and have never been such. Any help anyone could give me would be greatly appreciated. This has been an ongoing battle with my ex for over 7 years and I'm so tired of being screwed every time we go to court, not only does he always get his way, but he never has to prove anything, no documentation whatsoever...I, on the other hand, must always have too much paperwork and prove every minute detail of anything I say. This is beyond ridiculous.

Thank you for any help you can give me!

[ksmarks]

What state are you in?

[ocean]

What did the judge say when you showed him the canceled checks? (are they considering it a gift?).

I am guessing that the CSE closed your case since that is what you asked for but they do not have the authority to cancel child support. YOu needed to go back and get the court to change the order otherwise you are still responsible for the child support. It does not matter if you signed an agreement outside of court. You still had an active court order BUT if dont see how the judge overlooked the checks and given you credit for at least that amount...

[KirasMommy]

Sorry...I'm in Texas. The judge agreed that I was paying CS with the canceled checks, but because my ex lied & said I was paying a lesser amount because I "told him that I couldn't afford the reg amount", the judge said I was in arrears for the amount not paid per month & the past 2 months since filing.

The CSE abated the CS as per the temporary court order. This was the judge's order. He stopped CS because my ex said he didn't need me to pay him anymore. I did not ask the CSE to close my case, they closed it based on the temporary court order, which is what I'm trying to find out about. If the temp order was sufficient to abate (stop) CS completely, and the CSE stopped garnishing my wages and closed my case with them, wouldn't a new order have to be issued if we indeed had reverted to the original CO? If the dismissal of my motion caused us to revert to the original CO, what happens to the temporary court order?  The only thing dismissed in court was my motion for custody, not the temporary order signed by the judge to stop the CS payments.

We are still following this order as far as my ex putting our child on his health ins (I was originally the one who paid, but have not since then), so why hasn't everything reverted back? Why can my ex say that the CS has reverted back but nothing else? Are temporary orders left standing in court until something changes them or they are finalized? Doesn't my ex cashing my checks show it as a binding agreement that he accepted the lesser amount regardless if the judge believes that it was his idea or not? Why am I being penalized for something that I have no control over? I cannot reinstate the CS, that has to be done by CO only....so how can I pay if there is no order?

[ksmarks]

Sorry I am new here so I had to go back and read all of your posts....

Having done so I would ask the following:


Have you consulted with an attorney?


If not prior to doing, so gather the following

all support and custody orders orders

all cancelled checks

all paperwork related to the garnishment, and request documentation from your employer as to when it stopped, also from the Child support collection unit if your state has one that the payments were going through.

Next, have either you or dad had any change in income?

Have you ever requested a downward modification to the support amount?

I am however concerned that you and your ex have been involved in litigation over the last 7 years.

Right now you are looking at about $4,500. in fees, plus the cost of an appeal..  Plus and more significantly is what this continue litigation is costing your daughter, I would reccomend that if you haven't consulted an attorney yet, consider doing so, however,  when you do ask first what your chances are for a downward modifacation, and whether or not when the motion was thrown out and your garnishement stopped, if it actually did revert back to the prior order?  Then ask if there is anyway to get the contemt removed and if you can only be held accountable to the arrears that have accumuated. 

In the mean time I would pay the full amount of the prior order to futher boost your claim that this was not a willful violation, if was a violation at all.

Lastly, when you speak with the attorney, I would be certain to ask whether or not they believe that they can win this mess.

Good luck!

[KirasMommy]

My atty was with me in court. We showed all the documentation, copies of checks, payment records from CSE, everything. The father makes 3x what I do, 2 yrs ago he got this new job making 75k/yr....so he doesn't need my money, this is all retaliation/revenge on his part.

I have never asked for a reduction in CS amount. I have always paid as per the CO. Then the last time we went to court, 2yrs ago, I still paid even though I was not ordered to do so. My ex admitted this in court today. He wasn't disputing that I paid something, he was saying I refused to pay the CO amount. The problem with this is not only was this not true, but at the time I wasn't ordered to pay at all...so how can a judge be stupid enough to believe that I refused and willfully violated a CS order when there wasn't one in effect?

My daughter has been stuck living with this jerk for too long...she's 14 now ad wants out...she's wanted out the whole time, but when my ex continually files frivolous motions, I can't fight for custody because I'm stuck arguing with him over menial, stupid things he brings up in court. Majority are dismissed, but it keeps him in control and that's what he wants. Or he makes up deals that he never follows and the motions end up sitting in limbo & eventually dismissed as well.

My only recourse as of now I believe, is to appeal this judge's decision. But I really need to find out the lagalities as far as what happens to a temporary order when a motion in court for something totally unrelated is dismissed....how can the temp order be dismissed as well when it deals with something totally separate? Also, I need to know what constitutes a legal binding contract between two parties...him signing and cashing my CS checks should have proven that he accepted our agreement, but because he said he didn't make an agreement with me, the judge wouldn't even listen to my side of the story. The judge said I needed it in writing...well, that's the whole problem here, my ex never wrote the letter for court as promised, but instead continued to cash my checks....then decides to take me back to court for non-payment....how can that be construed as me violating an order?

I have always abided by this CO, even though I have been screwed in every way possible because of the wording. Instead of using it as a guideline as you are supposed to, my ex uses it word for word and if it doesn't specifically say I can see my daughter, he won't let me see her. I have lost lots of time with her, but can't even bring it up in court because he is the only one they listen to...frustrating to say the least.

They act like I'm a deadbeat when in fact I am better than most & have always done what I'm supposed to...even if it means that I have to look like I give in.....not fair doesn't even begin to cover it....

[ocean]

I can tell you that by him signing the checks does NOT mean that he accepted that amount only for the week/month. It just gets subtracted from what you were supposed to pay. Also, it doesn't matter what dad makes, the child is entitled to both incomes and raise her standard of living. Child support is by numbers... In my state it is 17% of your income for one child. See what it is in your state. There are child support state calculators on-line. If the number is not right then ask for a modification.

Bottom line is that child support will be ordered if fathers pushes (which he did). If it comes out to $500 then pay it and move on. You are spending money on a lawyer to fight something that you will not win in the long run. The only thing this lawyer "may" get you is a reduction on the arrears (but that has been decided today). How much are you spending on the lawyer? Good chance the judge will not change his mind in August and you will be paying everyone.

Do you have temporary orders that state no child support? or just that it was to go to him directly? Hard lesson learned...need to have the court change it and not just child support to close account. Sounds like the temp orders just covered CSE and not the agreement between the two of you. The judge has to go by what is written down.

[ksmarks]

Child support obligations are based on pro-rata shares of imputed income, if you think he makes more than he did when the original order was established, petition for a downward modification, asap.  In New York there is a cap in parental income at 80k, what the deal is in your state might be different, however all of that information should and most likely is available on-line if you look.

Unless it is in writing it is not binding in most cases, you might be able to argue that he did not request that you pay more, ( and you paid the amount you paid and he never filed for a violation) and if he never put it in writing and registered mail you might win, that again will cost you a lot of money.

Your daugther is almost at the age where the courts will let her decide anyway, do you really want to add to your legal fees and all of the stress and strife that goes with it to continue argueing?

Choice is always with  the parents, however, I wonder what our kids would say if we asked them?

Again, good luck!