What can Bio Mom do?

[chynabbdoll79]

My fiance has a 7 year old son whom he sees every weekend.  In addition to that, we pick his son up from his school 15+ miles away every tuesday, thursday, & friday keep him until 10:30 pm of which he is brought back to his mom's house to sleep.  So basically, the bio-mom gets to see the boy every monday & wednesday before & after school.  she owns a coffee shop & is there during the day so she doesn't really see the boy until night time.  The boy says nobody helps him with his homework, let alone have interest in his activities.  My fiance' , me, & his extended family are more than willing to participate with his care.  We all have helped him with homework, school functions, etc.  when we asked bio mom to let the boy live with us during the school week so he can attend a safer, closer, & cleaner school, she said she will not let him live with us because it would make her look bad as a mother.  we asked if she would see him on weekends since she usually has time off then, but she refuses to give up her "party" time and continues to be self centered in her decisions.    She doesn't care about his school activities or his well being.  Can she really have power to take him away like that?  she threatens to try to obtain full custody.  The boy really wants to live with us.  What can we do?

[ksmarks]

Does she currently have custody? Was there ever a court order?  What about visitation?  Is that ordered through the  court?  Can mom threaten to attempt to get full custody? Of course she can, the question is where or not she will win.  That answer depends largely on what has already been established in teh courts.   If they have nothing from the court, has dad thought about filing for custody?

I am concerned over the child being moved at 10:30 at night several times a week.  He should be in bed, and a sleep. 

Does the child have a law guardian?

The situation certainly sounds strange to me.  What state are you in?

[chynabbdoll79]

we live in california.  The reason the boy is moved that late at night is because his mom doesn't get home from work until after ten.  they were never married and have no court orders.  my fiance is afraid to file custody because he is unemployed and has no money for an attorney and fears that would be reason enough for her to win. 

[ocean]

First, dad should ask to speak to mom away from child. Present her with a plan that would be good for both of you in writing so she can see it and think about it. Maybe she can take him every fri -sat or sat into sun. Try to work it out..see when she wants him but still keep him in a school near you. Or say you can have him whenever...

Is there child support involved here, if so , tell her you will keep it the same for the next school year to see how he does.

I think the 10:30 is crazy for a 7 year old but if you push mom can put him in daycare instead of you and you could wind up paying half the cost...

[ksmarks]

How is dad supporting himself if he is not working?  If there are no orders  either parent can ask for one, however, best to consider all the outcomes that are probable prior to going that route.

I agree with ocean dad needs to soft sell a change to mom.  Dad might even be able to convice her that it was her idea.