Can an Irrational Ex be denied visitation?

[MixedBag]

I have to agree with Davy -- until BOTH parents leave the original jurisdiction, it stays.

Ocean, even your comment about "moving to NY" and stuff should not, I repeat SHOULD NOT work.

Does either one of these situations happen in court "all the time"?  I would lean towards yes, but that doesn't make it right.  I would also lean towards that WHEN it happens, it's because one parent doesn't understand their rights, and the other reason I won't post because I'm sure my activity here is still being monitored.

I was divorced in England, military move took me to WV, and then to AL.  Emancipation in England is 18.  Alabama is 19.  I could not get CS until the two daughters turned 19, because AL enforced the British definition.

[MixedBag]

BP412 -- back to you.

Think this one through carefully.

If you're getting harrassing e-mails, change your e-mail address.

If you don't want to do that, learn to ignore and hit delete.

BUT then again, are the e-mails expressing a desire to have time with the child?  If so, then they're not really harassing.

Phone calls:  change the number.

AGAIN, if the parent is getting upset because ALL contact with their child is being DENIED -- think about it.  That would probably drive you crazy as well.

Does the MOM have a real reason -- like is dad hurting the child -- to deny parenting time?

[BP412]

OK MixedBag, to answer your questions......here is the deal.......

I have just ignored his harrasing emails, which NEVER expressed an interest in spending time with his kids, only what he planned to do to me and how he was going to ruin my life (using ever expletive possible) to include badmouthing his ex wife (my girlfriend). After a brief period.......his emails have stopped to me........and now have stopped to her.  We took some previous advice and she told him over the phone and by certified mail (notarized letter) that due to his recent abusive behaviour that she was limiting his contact with the children to a 1 hr window per day which she deemed as more than reasonable contact as per the divorce decree.  Since then, he has sent her emails and instant messages expressing his hurt feelings and the he wishes she would not do that sort of thing to him and ignore him like that and that he still loved her (especially after calling her every bad name in the book - classic signs of an abuser).  Since then, he has made no effort to contact her or the children at all.  We suspect he is re-grouping for something bigger..........seems to be his "m.o".

This crazy man, the children's father, was NOT getting upset because he was being denied contact..........he was getting upset because he is an abuser who thrives on terrorizing his ex wive's and children and people were trying to limit his power.  When someone tries to put a stop to his behaviour or points it out to him, he becomes more crazed and more upset.  Like I said, he has been previously arrested for kidnapping and attempting to kill them.....but pleaded it down to simple trespassing (kniving lawyers at work there too).  We found out today that his older children and first ex wife are still experiencing the same things from him that my girlfriend and I are.  He terrorizes them mercilessly to where the kids want their names changed and no contact with him either.  Both ex wive's now want sole custody with no contact and want to be able to change their children's last name.  NO this is not a conspiracy against a poor father who is caught in the system against him...... It is a coincidence based upon an abusive man's terroristic behaviour and his belief that he is allowed to do anything he wants to do as long as he is violent enough.

As for denying him parenting time............he has physically hurt the children in the past, to include kicking and choking and punching.  His major feat nowadays is more mental and emotional (primarily since he has not physically seen them in quite a while and the last few times he did he was completely unsupervised).  He plays serious mind games with the little ones and makes them grandiose promises. Then when they don't pan out he blames their mother, when she is totally clueless as to what he promised in the first place.  He tells them evil things he plans to do to their mother and to me and uses inappropriate language in describing it.  He also plants false ideas in their heads as to who people are about and what is going on in the family and who I am. This not only confuses them but hurts and annoys them too. And then he tries to extract certain details from the children to find names and contact information on who "mommy's" friends are.   

Freedom of religion aside........ and I am no "bible thumper"........but we (g/f and I) both find it disturbing as to how he spews out how he sold his sole to Satan and wants control of his children, etc.. and he will take out anyone who stands in his way.  Even if this were chalked up to non-sensical chatter...... One can conclude that this behaviour might be a result of an actual or perceived mental state that should not require us to be too tolerant, especially when impressionable children are factored into the equation.

Also.....think about this.......would you want your ex to be spending time with your kids when he does not care to spend time with them but instead harasses you incessantly and calls you and your friends ugly names in front of the kids and then threatens your life and safety???  This whole situation is NOT about the kids.  He uses that as an excuse to carry out his terroristic and threatening behaviour.  He blames everyone for his failures and short comings.  There is no reasoning with him at all.  We have tried to be nice to him and to work things out in a civil manner - it just wont work and it makes him more angry than before.

I think that we seemed to have received several good ideas on how to proceed in stopping this guy in is tracks (all legal).  We are just making sure we mind our Ps and Qs and capture all the eividence we need and remain blameless here.  Doesnt help to goad him as the courts will definitely hold it against us for that.  We shall see how it goes from here.  Thanks everyone for your input.

[ocean]

You are allowing him to get to you. Until he shows up at your step asking for visitation, IGNORE. He has made NO attempt to see them so just ignore and move on with your lives. If his phone calls are not appropriate, limit it to 5 minutes, say hello to daddy and stand right there so if the phone call is going south, take phone away. Also, it can be limited to twice a week so you are not dealing with this every day. Just let his phone calls go to voicemail.

If you start things in court, then he will "win" time in his state and get it specified. You will NOT be able to change their names UNLESS father gives up rights and you are willing to adopt them. You can not force him to give up his rights. The kids can change their name at 18 legally. The father needs to sign the paper to change their name and I do not think he will do that.

His past will be looked at he may have to have supervised at the beginning..(and that is a BIG maybe) since most things are very hard to get into evidence especially if he has a lawyer. Be careful about rushing to court to change things. Right now the reasonable visitation is just that. You can more control this way. You can offer him time in your state at a public place when he comes to your state for now. Let him take you to court....he wants a fight...ignore and he will pop up every so often but just ignore or deal with it then.