Headed to Mediation

[Mom0f3]

Well we sent out 3 proposed plans to my SS Mother, two of which would have given her 30 to 40 % visitation, however none of this she cares for.  My DH called for mediation all though he does not believe it will do us any good and they are set to go at the end of this month.  She has convinced herself that my SS is still telling lies and that he is "A Child Who Hotlines Their Parents."  She says she has talked to a someone who deals with kids who does this and wants for him to see her.  She only seen my SS twice and has only recently started making phone contact after we started sending her these plans, before then she didn't seem to care.  My question would have to be on what all should my DH take along with him to mediation.  I have kept logs and typed emails to myself stating facts into detail about everything that has went on.  We also have my SS cell phone records showing little contact until we contacted her.  I just don't want to send to much or to little info with him to mediation and wanted some ideas.  He also wants to take two drug tests with him to see if she would take it or shoot it down since we know she will deny the drug usage.  The extra would be for him because we know she would ask for one on him which we have no problem with.

[Mom0f3]

I was also wondering if a POA would help us out for when he has to go out of town for work?

[MixedBag]

A POA from dad to you will help when "doing things" in the absence of dad when it comes to the child.

As for mediation -- let me share a thought with you.

My EX#2 has also sent numerous plans to me over the last 9 months -- there's a reason for my silence.  Silence in and of itself is sending a message that EX#2 doesn't understand.

What's going on in court that is behind all this?

[Vicky]

My husband and his ex just went to mediation over their 7 y/o daughter. And like you, we have documented EVERYTHING! We had a meeting with our lawyer before the mediation and he said that you dont need evidence for mediation. Mediation is just that- to mediate and come to some kind of an agreement. Evidence is for the courtroom, so you dont want your husband going to mediation ready for war when its not necessary. If it makes you feel better just send all of the documentation with him and he could leave it in the car if it did come up and he would happen to need something.
But when my husband went to his mediation he didnt need any documents. But we still document everything and record every phone call. Just in case there is a court date one day... Better safe than sorry!

Good luck!

[MixedBag]

yea -- good point -- as a trained mediator, my job would be to keep the two sides talking in an effort to come to an agreement.

I don't need evidence to do that.

The mediator has to stay neutral....

But yes, definitely save evidence for court.

[CuriousMom]

My mediation experience was the same.  It didn't matter what was really documented, etc.  It was strictly whether or not we could agree to a schedule and not have to go to court.  Our mediator didn't really care about the additional details.

We ended up in court.

[Mom0f3]

They haven't gone to court just yet.  We have only tried to work it out outside of the courts.  I have a post a little back (50/50 on changing) about what was going on and why we are at this point.  I would rather hang onto all the documents rather than show her all the stuff we have at mediation this way she doesn't go and make up a bunch of lies if it does make it to court.

[Vicky]

Yeah, dont revel to her what you have documented. Dont let her know that you are doing any documenting. And if it does hit courts then you will be ready!

[Dadto4]

In my state its called exibits untill the courts accept it as evidence. You also have to disclose what exibits you have in a certain amount of time frame before the court date. I would suggest getting Blacks Law Dictionary and what ever your states revised statutes are pertaining to custody. Don't just go in there with a handfull of stuff and think that just cause you have it the judge will accept it. Sometimes they will sometimes they wont. The opposing attorney could object because he hasn't been able to go over what you have.